Not married but need a place to talk

Hello, I had rny Oct 06. Lost 135 lbs. Went from 22/24 down to 2/4. I have a problem of another type and hoping someone here can shed some light on the subject. I have been dating a good man since July. The problem is, he is very afraid of getting hurt and will not want to get married. We live together right now. We discussed my wanting a commitment and his response is the same as before: "Cant you just enjoy having fun?" This infuriates me. It makes me feel like I am just someone to pass his time, so he doesn't have to be alone. It makes me feel like NOT marriage material. I have not been in a serious relationship in my life... he's only my 3rd boyfriend.... I just lost my virginity this year and I am 37 yrs old. That shows you that I am completely unexperienced... But I want to get married, have a child or maybe more than one someday. He's been divorced, does not have or want any children. I am just thinking out loud here. I love him very much and guess I was naive in thinking love can conquer all. But I see now that sometimes the differences are just too big to overcome, and it might be best to go separate ways. Does this make any sense at all? I'm not angry with him. But I shouldn't have to live in the shadow of his past... and pay for the mistakes that other women have done to him. I love him, and it hurt me very badly when he said he didnt want to ever get married or think he ever would. Like I said, I'm not angry because he is entitled to his opinion just as i am entitled to mine. It just crushed my little naive heart to learn the truth of how he feels...

Just my opinion, but I would dump him. You deserve better! You both have 2 different expectations and I doubt he will be changing his. If you just want to have fun stay, but it sounds like you want so much more...

You may be somewhat inexperienced, but he isn't the one sweetie. It sounds like you have a good idea of what you are looking for and you will not find it with him so please don't waste any more of your time or heart on him - unless "just having fun" is all you want. And you are right to not be angry, he is showing you his cards upfront. Anger is a useless emotion that will take you down a path you don't need - after all, didn't you have WLS to make life changes? Make the right ones.

I agree you should just part ways. He is being honest about his feelings as you are to yours and it's unfortunate that you guys are looking to 2 different things at this time. You want kids and marriage and he doesn't and to force him into anything will just lead to resentment. I wish you well and good luck.