Sleep Apnea took my brothers life June 6, 2008.

This is very difficult for me to talk about. I miss my brother (my best friend). It was the morning before my daughter's gaduation party. My brother was going to come over that day and we were going to grill chicken on the grill for my daughter's party. He lived at my parents home. I called over to their house to ask a question. They said Jeff wasn't up yet. They would always use a broom handel and tap the ceiling to wake him up. They tried it 3 times and he never responded. My Dad went upstairs to his room and Jeff was dead. I was on the phone when my Dad came down to tell my Mom to call 911. I got off of the phone and was on my way over to their house crying and in disbelief!! By the time the paramedics got there, they figured he had been gone about 5 hours. He had stayed overnight at our home a few times and stayed in the extra bed in my son's room. My son realized that Jeff had stopped breathing during the night and had told him about it. Jeff had plans to have it checked out. He was also going through the process to have bariatric surgery to lose weight. He didn't make it to the bariatric surgery. Sleep Apnea is VERY SERIOUS!! Years before this happened to my brother, my husband was diagnosed and has been on a c-pap machine ever since. I thank God that he was diagnosed and treated in time!! I have heard that sleep apnea can run in familes. My Mom has it. My brother died from it. I went to get checked. I have it also. I was shocked!! I went through about 5 masks before I found one that I could be comfortable enough sleeping with. If you struggle with your mask and the comfort of it, don't give up!! Remember that not wearing a mask could mean losing your life. All it takes is to stop breathing and not starting back up 1 time and you perish from this earth. Please help bring awareness to those you love.

Patty

Hi Patty,

Thanks for posting a very heartbreaking story. My prayers go to you and your family on the loss of your brother. I too never knew I had sleep apnea until I was ready for my lap-band surgery. As much as I hate my CPAP, the quality of my life and sleep is so much better. I had hoped I would go off of the CPAP since I've lost close to 100 pounds, but actually during my most recent sleep study, I had my number raised on the CPAP. I realize that I as well as my mother probably have had this all of our life. Your brother's death made you more vigilant to sleep apnea and probably has saved you and other members of your family from a similar fate. I think Jeff would be glad his death made everyone more cognizant of the dangers.

Diana

Hi Diana,
Thanks for your time to respond. I am going to meet with my surgeon for bariatric surgery on March 25. I wondered if some day  if I lost enough weight that I might not need the c-pap anymore. I know how important it is to use my c-pap. I also believe that he would be happy to know his death brought awareness to others to be checked for sleep apnea. I have children and married. What a loss that could have been if it had been me.  would have never been checked if it weren't for his death. Thank you for caring!!
Patty

Patty,

My deepest condolences to you and your family as a result of your brothers death.  I'm sure it was a very difficult time and a great shock. Certainly something no one should have to go through and I empathize with you completely.

I'm glad you posted your story. I was diagnosed with very severe sleep apnea over a year and half ago and have gone through 4 or 5 masks, but have never been able to use them consistently. I've lost a lot of weight since my surgery and my apnea may or may not be better. I haven't had a sleep study lately, and most nights I find myself either giving up on the mask before falling asleep, ripping the mask off in my sleep, or just not bothering with it.

I'll keep trying and eventually hope the mask and I can make peace. But your story proves how dangerous sleep apnea is, and gives me motivation to not give up. Again, I'm sorry for your brothers loss, and hope others will take heed.

Chris

Thank you Chris!! The time you took to read about this means a lot to our family. We want to reach out to others so this doesn't happen to another persons loved one or themselves. I went through about 5 masks before I found one that works for me. They have a new one called the Liberty. I love it!! Please don't give up. If you know others with sleep apnea, please feel free to share my story. We want to bring awareness of how serious this can be. God Bless.
Patty

Wow Patty, I am so sorry your brother had to die so that others may live once finding out about sleep apnea. I had been diagnosed with sleep apnea in 1997 and started wearing a C-PAP mask that year after had surgery for the snoring and apnea (uvulopalatopharyngoplasty) yeah, one long word. Though I am still alive, thankfully, I have always hated my mask. I wear it every night consistently, but have been known to wake up and rip it off my face. My BF says when I take it off, my snoring is terrible so I do use it more for his sake, though I had been wearing it for many years before BF moved it.  After not getting rid of my sleep apnea after gastric bypass, I am now on the way to have a duodenal switch surgery and hopefully with the weight loss from that, I will be able to get off this C-PAP mask. Keep telling your story. In fact, post it on a lot of the forums because on some of the forums I have been to, many talk about not using their mask for whatever reason and though we are told that one can die from apnea not beeing treated appropriately, no one can understand the depth of this medical condition and you are one person to share what it can do to a family.

I am so sorry for your loss!  My husband is seeing his family doctor in May, and I will remind him to ask his doctor to give him a prescription for a sleep study.  I didn't even realize that I had it - I was in denial, until I needed to have a D&C for other reasons.  They strongly suggested I have a sleep study, and when I did, to my surprise I found out I have severe sleep apnea.  Without my CPAP mask, I wake up every thirty seconds all night long after stopping breathing for ten seconds at a time.  The only symptoms I had were snoring and feeling groggy and sleepy in the m mornings to early afternoon.  I suspect my husband has it, but I've never noticed that he actually stopped breathing.  He's breathed weirdly, snorting then breathing three breaths in a row through his mouth only.  He sounds like he's gasping for air, and it really disturbs me.  He didn't even notice that I stopped breathing at all, mine was so subtle, yet severe, too.  I know mine is from obesity, but I'm a little dismayed that losing over 100 pounds doesn't necessarily take it away.

If that is the case for me, then I will just continue to use my CPAP machine.  I had some problems with it, like everybody else, and I tried a second mask (nasal pillow mask which blows air just through your nostrils).  The second mask didn't work, and I knew I needed more padding for the bridge of my nose to use the first mask, which fits over my nose.  It was scarring the bridge of my nose, which I noticed the next morning, when it was red and puffy from the pressure on it.  I tried a small round bandaid, but it kept getting worse.  When the nasal pillow wouldn't stop leaking all night and waking me up around the clock, I put a large cotton ball with three strip bandaids on my nose, and finally, that protected it.  My Praxair salesman says he will be bringing over a more modern type of padding which will fit the top of the nasal mask to protect my nose, and take away the nasal pillow, so I won't get billed for it.

Now the last problem I have to deal with is getting off of Ambien each night (sleeping pill).  Even though my sleep with the CPAP is more restful, I feel groggy in the morning from the pill.  I tried getting off of it last week on Friday night (I sleep in on Saturday mornings), but I slept so lightly that I gave up at 1:00 a.m. and took the pill anyway.  I will try again this week, tonight, and just expect to sleep lightly, at first.  Eventually, I'll be able to sleep more deeply without the pill, and will feel much better and more awake in the morning.

Denise Phares/kitties4

P.S.:  I just hope my husband doesn't die of sleep apnea before he has a sleep study.  They wouldn't accept him like they did me, because he wasn't in their system.  So he has to wait until May 2009 to see his doctor to get the prescription for one.  Thanks for your message.

DP/k4

Patty-
I am so sorry for your loss.

Red

I am so sorry for your loss.  I know this is hard for your entire family, especially your parents.  It is good that you were able to drive over.  You must not live very far.   I just wonder, did your brother have children.  How old was he?   I pray that God comforts all those affected by his death.