Just gotta share!
Grab a coffee, sit down and enjoy this hilarious story! Have a good laugh on me tonight!!
Eve
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises
of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and
now...the wax.
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix
dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring
painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the
waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my
demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting
a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they
get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever
else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it
be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to
figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each
other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks
in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold
wax,"yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my ! thigh. Hold the skin
around it tight and pull.
It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too
bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah,
fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin
extraordinaire!
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids,
I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting
championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using
the same procedure, apply the wax strip across the right side of my
bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down
to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale
deeply an brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision
returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip.
CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and
spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear
crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to s! ee
my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much
pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory
that is my triumph over body hair.
I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair???
WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on
the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I
touch. I am touching wax.
CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body,
which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next
BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know
I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DAMN!!!!!!!! I hear the
slamming of a cell door. *Hoo-hoo*? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to
do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My
head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Ho****er!! Ho****er
melts wax!! I'll run the hottes****er I can stand into the bathtub, get
in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can
gently wipe it off, Right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used
to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued
together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of
the tub...in scalding ho****er. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold
wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had
cement- epoxie myself to the porcelain!!
God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have
a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she
has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a
very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and who-ha are glued
together to the bottom of the tub!" I calmly tell her.
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for
removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to
know exactly where the wax is located,! "Are we talking cheeks or hole
or who-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her
the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While
we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a
razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in
hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super ho****er and then dry-
shaving the sticky wax off!!
By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike
and I'! m pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling
for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my
saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What
do I really have to loss at this point? I rub some on and OH MY
GOD!!!!!!!
The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of
my friend. It's sooo painful, l but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It
works!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.
I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my
grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF
IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now.
Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color...... 
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises
of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and
now...the wax.
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix
dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring
painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the
waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my
demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting
a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they
get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever
else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it
be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to
figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each
other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks
in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold
wax,"yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my ! thigh. Hold the skin
around it tight and pull.
It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too
bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah,
fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin
extraordinaire!
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids,
I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting
championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using
the same procedure, apply the wax strip across the right side of my
bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down
to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale
deeply an brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision
returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip.
CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and
spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear
crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to s! ee
my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much
pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory
that is my triumph over body hair.
I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair???
WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on
the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I
touch. I am touching wax.
CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body,
which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next
BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know
I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DAMN!!!!!!!! I hear the
slamming of a cell door. *Hoo-hoo*? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to
do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My
head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Ho****er!! Ho****er
melts wax!! I'll run the hottes****er I can stand into the bathtub, get
in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can
gently wipe it off, Right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used
to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued
together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of
the tub...in scalding ho****er. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold
wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had
cement- epoxie myself to the porcelain!!
God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have
a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she
has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a
very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and who-ha are glued
together to the bottom of the tub!" I calmly tell her.
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for
removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to
know exactly where the wax is located,! "Are we talking cheeks or hole
or who-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her
the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While
we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a
razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in
hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super ho****er and then dry-
shaving the sticky wax off!!
By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike
and I'! m pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling
for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my
saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What
do I really have to loss at this point? I rub some on and OH MY
GOD!!!!!!!
The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of
my friend. It's sooo painful, l but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It
works!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.
I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my
grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF
IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now.
Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color...... 
OMG,you should be a standup comedian.
:rofl I have never read something so funny.The bad part is I could see myself doing something of this nature.Sometimes I Do something before I fully think out the consequences.I bet by now you need a good stiff
By the way are you sure you want to venture into the hair coloring realm all by yourself?
:rofl I have never read something so funny.The bad part is I could see myself doing something of this nature.Sometimes I Do something before I fully think out the consequences.I bet by now you need a good stiff By the way are you sure you want to venture into the hair coloring realm all by yourself? 
LOL I see why they post warnings on these products--it's because someone has actually done what there warning you about 
I agree with Ms. Renee..you should be a stand up comedian. Let us know how the hair color goes. I jsut bought a frost and glow kit and I am skeered to do it myself :agnst: but I might have to inorder to get it done.
Becky
I see why they post warnings on these products--it's because someone has actually done what there warning you about I agree with Ms. Renee..you should be a stand up comedian. Let us know how the hair color goes. I jsut bought a frost and glow kit and I am skeered to do it myself :agnst: but I might have to inorder to get it done.
Becky 
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