Why I Chose to be a Secret Pal

I chose to be a secret pal because I love giving to others. It's so much fun to get to know a person, and choose little surprises here and there for them. I'm sorry that people sign up to be a secret pal, then don't honor their commitment. It's not fair to their pal, to Chris, and to this board. It's so sad to hear people comment that their secret pal has more or less deserted them. I wish I could gather up all those people and send them a surprise, but I can't. But I can suggest that you don't let other people's ugliness stop you from being kind to others. Hugs, Connie

How right you are, Connie! I've been dropped from the SP program but I still send to the pal I was originally assigned, because I was commited to HER, not to receiving gifts or cards from another person. Yes, yes, yes, I know, I supposedly said I didn't want to continue to be involved since the buddy I was assigned quit and it's not fair for me to get gifts from someone else who in turn won't have anyone to send gifts to them, on and on and on... But here's the thing... the whole point behind being a secret pal isn't to get gifts, it's to send little suprises to brighten the day of someone *****ally needs it. Now tell me, who might need it more, a regular poster here who's had their surgery and is getting tons of daily support in the form of OH or the person who is still maybe struggling to win insurance approval and is near the giving up point? THAT'S why I continue with the original pal I was given, because I made a commitment. Another thing that bothers me... why is it that we see so many posts here that say "I've not received a thank you for the gift I sent!" Why do you need a thank you? I mean, it's not about you, it's about making the other person's day/life a little brighter. That's part of the whole reason it's a SECRET pal program, to take the individual gifter out of the picture, to focus soley on the selfless act of making someone else's life a little brighter. Most of us have seen Amy's tearful reaction to the pretty candles she received during the filming of the MTV special, that's what originally inspired this who secret buddy program. So why can't we go back to that original selflessness?

I agree with you that this is a selfless act. I joined because I wanted to make someone happy and form a friendship. Perhaps life long. I enjoy going out and searching for the perfect gift for that special someone..... I don't need gifts(I have everything I could possibly want) but it would be nice to know I am thought of by someone I don't know. I am not sure about you but I know for myself every now and then I could use a pick me up...Life has a way of running when you want to walk. ~~hugs and well wishes~~ Chris

I have posted about not receiving a thank you, and other than it simply being rude on the part of the one *****ceived the gift--maybe you were raised in less expectant cir****tances--it is about knowing that the gift was actually recieved rather than lost in the post. And if a person never communicates, how is a relationship to be established? And if it isn't about the relationship, isn't it back to just about the gifts? It is simple to post a "received the package" on the Secret Pal website without letting the secret out. Sally

Hi Connie, I too signed up to be a secret pal because I like giving to others. I am actually having more fun than I thought and have even bought ahead for several months. This is mostly cause I could not decide between things so bought all of them. My pal is easy to buy for too as she has specific things she collects. On the other hand as Ladybug Mom just said, some of us just need a little something as a pick me up or to know someone cares. I am a pre op with lots of fears and questions but I will bet post ops appreciate this too. I do not hesitate to say that I look forward to the day I see something in the mail for me. I have never had a secret pal before. Ladybug Mom has let me know that she heard from my pal who has had extenuating cir****tances. Karen Martin

My sentiments exactly Connie. I love buying for my pal. I hope that she enjoys the things I send her. Even more, I hope to gain new friendships from this program. My sp (the one who sends to me) is such a blessing. She goes far and above what she is "required" to do. I hope to stay in touch with both of them long after this ends. I am so sorry for the ones who have not received gifts. I know it must disheartening for those who have not received a gift, but just think of the thrill of buying for someone. It is kind of like Christmas. It is so much fun. Carmen