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Today?s gonna be a tuff one but then it?s the weekend yay! 
Looking forward to gardening the terrace and ( finally ) attending to Long Island.
Am up at 4 imagining I?m going to fix the apartment lol 
. It?s more like ? sit on the couch n read ,drink tea, cuddle a cat or three ?
Enjoyed dinner on the terrace last nite relaxing w a bottle of good wine . Problem is I want to keep up the oblivion in the morning? which isn?t gonna cut it.
I actually LIKE doing stuff and day drinking and responsibility don?t mix . Go**** sux thinking like an adult lol!
So at seven AM ( before the live in super wakes up ) I?m gonna borrow the buildings wheeled hamper ( used for gathering recyclables ) and after a WEEK finally unload my car .
Hope the doorman doesn?t wake George up lol !
Nothing like a pissed off NY super to make your life miserable- then again I HAVE to unload and he?s making it impossible by deliberately hiding the buildings only cart all week.
You can?t cure crazy lol 
. Or jealous n resentful for that matter 
So a month of barre classes is almost three hundred dollars - yikes ! As is Pilates and Orangetheory ( where they row, treadmill and lift light weights as a class ) 
It looks great but at these prices it?s understandable why people spend three hundred dollars plus a month on Equinox where they offer all these options.
The gym membership I HAVE has much better options in Florida so I?ll worry about changing when I get back - it?s so hard to give up unlimited dental and chiropractic 
.
Last nite I finally started eating properly- soup, bites of pizza shrimp n calamari.
B - pastry, Chai tea , soup
s- salads n seared beef or brisket
L and D - tbd . Have an invitation to New Years Dinner ? uncertain about being sociable yet.
Here are some pics from the operas this week
Accountability - a handful of truffle almonds somehow leaped into my mouth ( while drankn ) 
and two sesame/ peanut crunch candies.
Exercise - Fit- Beatch clocked me walking 24 miles this week supposedly. Hard to believe honestly.
Doing my PT and Chiro homework pretty diligently so long as it doesn't HURT horribly. 
M a wimp w pain. 
I hope you feel better soon.
RNY 8/11/14 with Dr. Kelvin Higa PS Lipectomy 4/12/17 with Dr. John Burnett HW291.4/CW165/GW150
Hopefully they will get a good agreement fast!
HW: 306 SW: 282 GW: 145 (reached 2/6/19) CW:150
Jen
Very interesting topic today.
Yes I was cheated on but worse - made light of before that probably because of my weight and uncoolness lol. 
This despite being an athlete and actor - my high school was ridiculously exclusive though and I was NOT one of the rich kidz.
So I do have issues with intimacy and establishing trust in relationships - you can imagine after a lifetime of dealing with my Fathers betrayals.
Feeling alone and unsupported even in relationships makes for emotional overeating of course.
I?m realizing I have a huge problem asking for anything but particularly what I deserve and am entitled to .
This goes back to a pattern with my Dad where I simply never received ANYTHING I asked for until I stopped asking .
Home was also a totally unsupportive place - I had to feed myself, walk myself to and from school and do chores and make dinner until my Parents came home, ate and then I had to clean up and do my homework.
The only interaction really was working together building a second home on the weekends and being slapped or beaten and questioned if my grades weren't all As .
Of course I eventually figured out I didn't even need to show up for school - except to take the tests and from then on spent my weekdays watching ( forbidden ) TV and scarfing down the refrigerator lol 
.
It was a MIRACLE I got accepted by an exclusive prep school - only to upgrade the scholarship and athletic level of their programs I'm sure.
Was definitely treated like a third class citizen there and made to feel like I could be asked to leave any moment despite not being a scholarship student . 
So showing up for myself and asking for help is REALLY HARD - and not doing so day after day makes me want to stick my head in the sand with alcohol, excess food or shopping.
Im thinking ( seriously) of finding a Bariatric- oriented therapist. Anyone know any good ones in NYC ?
on 10/3/24 9:14 am - Amarillo, TX
I agree...the random panic buying stuff. My mom just isn't very rational all the time. Sam's was a mad house and out of TP. Just crazy but it'll be fine. There are people who are really going to have it hard with this strike. TP panic stuff is nothing compared to it.
My father-in-law was from Italy and always openly cheated. My brother-in-law was the same. So were a lot of my husband's Italian friends. I was married 40 years and do not believe my husband cheated on me. Of course you never know for sure, but I told him that trust to me was like an egg. If you break it, there is no way to repair it and it would be over for me.
Real life begins where your comfort zone ends
Thank the lord, the weekend is in view. I can't remember if I mentioned I decided to skip the Oktoberfest party Saturday so I can have a day to relax and pack and read and watch tv and lay on the couch. Sunday I have a jiu jitsu workshop a friend is leading and then a show at the Kennedy Center with an early dinner after with a friend from painting class. She is one of the strongest people I know...she's from the Philippines and she married an American, they had a son who has autism and is non verbal and huge and destructive and then her husband had an accident and had a brain injury. She somehow keeps her family going and works at the World Bank. She's also super creative and so kind and generous!
Q: Yep. Once that I know of and it was very hurtful. After that, I always told boyfriends, listen, don't cheat on me. You want to be with someone else, feel free. End it with me first.
Eats today - continuing on with leftover potbelly, some popcorn, and I have a bunch of diced onions so I think I'll make a can of tuna!
Have a wonderful Friday Eve!
That's what I was thinking. I figured it had to be my body because I was able to make good decisions. If it's head or emotional hunger, it's gonna be a bad decision.
RNY 11/21/16 - HW/SW 309 LW 150
REVISION 4/10/23 - HW 240 SW 225 CW 164 GW 155
Good morning! QJB you DID have the sleep idol. I wondered. It was a long night for me. But I've got fake coffee and spooky weather outside for a short bit and an easy day ahead. Bring it on.
Yesterday's accountability was dead on. All water, all day. All my food choices were good ones. No kettle corn. 55 minutes of exercise and 10,524 steps.
Today I am scheduled to go to the gym and do the weight circuit and of course hop on the treadmill for steps. I am not feeling it at all and am currently dressed for a rest day. However, Roger is leaving for golf in a couple hours and I reserve the right to get motivated and change my mind. Other than that, I might walk around Costco because I need beef jerky. I am trying to get through my book club reading. It's written very, very well, but the subject matter is infuriating. Know my Name. It's supposed to be really hot again this afternoon. That is supposed to be the pattern for the next 5 days. October weather, my least favorite of the year here.
QoTD: In high school yes.
Bites today
B: BLT bites again. so yummy.
L: TJ's precooked chicken breast and pop chips. Maybe a little sharp cheese.
D: pork chops with garlic honey and a little bit of sweet potato with butter
Peace!
Height 5'3"
HW 200
surgery date 10/29/19 177.9
CW 121.4
goal weight 125
***whimpering****. The strike will impact my kids business. As it will millions of families. I'm hoping for a fair resolution all the way around.
