What's on your Monday Menu?

Once she started enabling him, he got used the idea that he does have to work.. mom would pay for things... She practically ruined him and now she is doing that to her niece.

Keith's dad SO has money, is well off, but she believes she raised her daughters to be responsible for their life and expenses... she would help them if she absolutely had to, but only if they did everything they capable of to help themselves. Her 2 Grand daughters (over 18) are working full time. I know one of her daughter had some money issues and Rach asked her "what are you going to do about it? you probably need a second job. That was it.

I have another point of view thanks to my parents. My mom said you always take care of the weakest link. It's easy to say stop helping and let them battle it on their own when it's not your own child. We had the same situation with my brother (the one who passed). My other brother would tell my dad why do you guys keep helping him. My dad said "when I'm gone and it comes down to you, let's see if you'll make that decision to not help your brother!" It's easier said than done.
Also, after we found out he had brain tumor, my mom asked us how we would have felt if he had not received any help from the family. At least this way my mom said we did everything we could, even before his diagnosis, so we didn't feel guilty afterwards.
I understand family relationships are complicated, but if it's not a financial burden, I always opt for helping out for my own peace of mind if for nothing else.

Not helping is incredibly hard.

not helping its incredibly hard. I know that too well with my sister. And I do that if I can afford it, on my terms. But once i give her money - there are no strings. If she chose to spend that on something else- it was her money. At the same time - she seldom asks me for anything. At the same time, when I had financial issues -and cash was not easily available - she did not berated me for not supporting her. and ... if I had an idea what I want her to get - then I waited until she was ready to get THAT to send the money. PS I knew, as she was getting older - she would need and AC in her condo. (Poland- AC is kind of luxury item.) A few years later - the summer heat was getting to her. She is MO, plus her age - so I gave her money to get it.

There was a time that any money I sent her "for emergencies" she would spend on traveling. In her mind -when I "volunteered" to give her money - it was her to spent as she wished. And there were other issues between us, so bad, that I had to go counseling to deal with that. During one of the sessions I mentioned things about money, and "my idea" what she needs to do with them. i.e. save for her retirement, because I knew her pension would be enough to allow her to have relatively financially secured life. My counselor old me to keep the money I want her to have for retirement and make sure i have it when she retired so i could help her. It was definitely one of the best advice I got from her.

With Keith sister - is a different story - she feels her family - specifically her dad and Keith need to support her. That they need to pay her expenses. she is still married, has 3 sons... and her dad is really not well off. It's like a bottomless pit.

I think she is on drugs - on something. Giving a drug addict the money - is like buying the drugs for her.

Sorry you're dealing with family drama.

Boy. I don't envy Keith his sibling. That's no picnic...and with that attitude at her age you can bank on her having no retirement plan besides...Keith. ouch.

Sorry your system is still acting out. Hopefully you'll be able to get the drug course you need. Glad you're losing when you want to be but hope it stops where you want.

Keith's sister and retirement? Of course not. But .. I don't think she is going to live that long. It's sad.

Plus, after the latest ****show and verbally attacking their dad - Keith is really upset. What also ironic, because just recently he got a new job with a really salary, he would have been able to help her again. I don't think he would now, at least for while.

BTW: Keith and I have "family account" we both contribute to, but majority of our monies - we keep separately. I would never tell him not to help her. Help - yes - support her so she can do tiktok, be artsy, and give her money to her friends... yes - she did that before and asked for more money from Keith because she needed to help her friend. Seriously.

Happy Monday everyone! I had a great weekend with the right mix of getting things done, having fun and relaxing. I mean, yesterday the only productive thing I did was brush my teeth and change into sweats so I could read outside. It was heaven. I did finish two books and almost finished a third.

qotd - there are so many fascinating things! To be honest, I would probably take that money and give it to DMNS or DAM and ask them to make something cool with it. I would also fund access for people that can't afford to visit museums. We are lucky here that the metro area has a tax that funds our arts and cultural centers and as part of that they have very good programs to get people that don?t have the means into the museums and arts centers. We also have a relatively new music venue that offers free concerts and I would give them a buttload of money too. Music, art, history and learning make the world a better place and everyone deserves to experience it.

today is our monthly managers presentations so a long day of listening, then I have two days of training that start at 6 am both days?so I had to move pretty much all my meetings to Thursday. I am already looking forward to Friday, lol.

I did get up and do my rowing after watching last nights John Oliver show. Having lived in a rural farming community for a lot of my pre-teen and teen years, I was sad that so little has changed. I think since I have a day of sitting and listening, I might try to get in a boxing or strength session during the meeting lunch break, which is like 1030 my time. I?ll also do some laundry since I can listen and move things from washer to dryer and fold in the office.

Oh, Samantha Bee was hilarious on Saturday night. For women of a certain age, you will laugh because the only other alternative is incandescent rage?but it was a great night! Highly recommend seeing her if you get a chance.

menu today

coffee plus half and half x 2

Deli ham plus slice cheese

leftover burger

rgf stuffed chicken breast ? I could make these but they did all the work. Hopefully they are tasty.

have a fantastic Monday all!

If I had crazy m9ney, I would take over all the local libraries and have them open every day, with all the money and programs they could use. Two branches are only open two days a week, half days. I would also make museums free for all. No one should be excluded because of high admission.

The next state over shot down an effort to make community colleges tuition free. The cost was a lousy 6 million bucks. Put that on my tab as well. Public education should run through at least 4 years of college, cost free. It used to, not all that long ago.

You have my vote!