What's on your Monday Menu?

Mernin' errybody, happy MonYay!

QOTD - I wasn't fat, I was normal. But in a family with thin people, I was made to feel fat. By everyone. And yes, I got the "you are so pretty, if you would just lose some weight" when I was at a formative age, so enter the years of dieting. I've been on a diet of some sort since I was 11. I think I just recently the past year have owned up to my own ED. So that's lovely.

Breakfast - oatmilk latte and bean and cheese taco, both homemade

Snack - small slice of coffee cake (I hate holidays for this very reason)

Lunch - leftover plant based tacos on corn

Dinner - spaghetti with Impossible meat, salad and garlic bread

Hope you all have a great day!

G'morning all!

The sleepover/girls night in went great. It was therapeutic for all of us to just talk talk talk non stop. Right at the beginning somebody suggested to put all the phones away so that nobody can interrupt our festivities. I had not spent 24 hours without my phone in ages, but it was a good experiment. It was a fun relaxing get together right before the craziness of the holidays. Jen, your pudding shots were a hit.

QOTD: I want to hug all of you guys who were told you were less pretty and had to start the weight battle so early on. I was "normal", never skinny, till my early 30s. I guess I was fortunate enough to grow up in a country/culture that didn't idolize super skinny girls, unless you had to be on a fashion magazine cover. The first time I heard I was fat (I weighed 140 at that time) was from a friend of DH, he didn't know I could hear him, telling somebody else I was fat. Typical southern CA person. He drove his wife to bulimia but that's another story. I made up for all of my normal days the second I got pregnant. I gained around 80 lbs. I will never forget when DD was born and the dr told me she weighted 6.6 lbs. I said that's it? He looked at me and said yup, the rest of the weight gain is all yours. I was never able to get my weight back under control. Lost some in the next 3 years but never got back to my pre pregnancy weight and then we had DS. To make a long story short DD was 21 when I finally lost the "baby weight" and got back to my pre pregnancy weight. It took me ONLY 21 yrs and WLS.

My meals yesterday:

• B: coffee & chocolate croissant
• L: innards of a burrito
• S: Fage yogurt
• D: skipped
• E: Rest day

Happy start of the week!

Time with the girls keeps me sane!!!!! Glad you had a great time

Good morning ~ So happy for your light at the end of the tunnel and lazy weekend! Either way - you probably really needed it. Saturday, we looked for a tree. Rob insists on real, I love them, but so over them. It gets to the point where I forgot to water it enough, it gets super crispy and I'm afraid to turn on the tree lights. We went to the tree lot and the least expensive tree I could stand to have in the house was over $100, the decent ones that I would normal get were at least $150. I looked at Rob and said - seriously, can we PLEASE just buy a fake tree this year? We went to Home depot and boom, done and we love it. It's pre lit so he can have his colored lights and I can have my white lights. Everyone is happy. After that - I was super lazy binge watching 'You' on Netflix for hours - OMG, this show! Sunday, I was super productive, from dawn until dusk. Cleaning and decluttering, washing everything that wasn't nailed down, shopping, cooking, organizing and getting ready for the week. It felt so good!

Got on the treadmill today - 1st time since the Wed. before Thanksgiving. Still in NYC - Soho, Chinatown and Little Italy today. I love this machine. I have a meeting here shortly, lunch with my kiddo - sushi, yum. Tonight we are finally going to decorate the tree. Yes, Saturday was just that lazy.

QOTD - I am big boned but my mom said I was incredibly solid. I had no fluffy fat on me until about 3rd grade. By 5th/6th grade, I was 130 pounds and after 7th I was 150 and went on my first diet at 'the diet center'. This place was big deal in those days. I lost 30 pounds so at the beginning of 8th grade I weighed a normal 120. Yo-Yo'ed all the way though and by Jr year in HS I was just over 200. I stayed around there until I was in my late 20's and bounced through the 200's until I peaked at 300, 5 years ago. I often wonder about the introduction to the diet world at 13. I know 150 at 13 isn't great, but would I often wonder what that diet and subsequent diets and the whole mental part of it did to me psychologically.

B-coffee, egg bites

l - tuna tataki

d-rotisserie chicken and salad

s-HB eggs, protein bar

QOTD- I wasn't fluffy until I was 19. And then after it was up and down, did Optifast and then a diet DR who basically gave us B12 shots and amphetamines. I yo-yo'd my way to almost 300lbs. The lowest that I ever got was 135, but I wasn't healthy. As a kid my brother always told me I was fat. Now I know I wasn't. My Mom has struggled all of her life with her weight, and as a kid she restricted us from eating some things, so when I turned 18 nothing was off limits and I started packing it on. I've struggled all of my life with not feeling good enough, and with social anxiety disorder I felt like everyone was looking at me and judging me as unacceptable. I now know that honestly most people don't really care. If I was fat I avoided family parties, or events because I didn't want the judgment. So now I'm at a stable weight, but not where I would like to be. But I'm content because I wear size 12-14 jeans, and size 10 dresses- not that I've worn one in a while.

We had a terrible storm last night. We had 6-10" of rain and it was really windy. I lost my power a little after 9 and didn't get it bac****il about 2. I couldn't sleep there was some awful noise and I couldn't figure out what it was. The gutter downspout is right next to my window and that is where the noise was coming from. But alone and in the dark it was just scary. I had washed my sheets and duvet cover and hung them outside under the overhang. I tried to bring them inside and managed to drag them in the dirt and now I need to re-wash them, but I don't even know if they will get dry. We're supposed to have rain most of this week.

I am really discouraged, and down. I've lost all of the broadcast TV stations, not sure if it's due to the storm or what. I don't even have anyone that I can ask if this is normal weather? So now not only is it super hot and humid, but I don't want to run the A/C for fear of another huge bill. I've second, third and fourth guessed my move here, so I was crying in the living room and all I could say is I want to go home. I want my nail person, my hair dresser and my dentist and Dr back. I want Prime to be actually 2 day delivery and I want to know where I'm going and not have to depend on the GPS all the time. I guess be careful what you wish for. Because this is not at all what I thought it would be.

I just made an appointment with my counselor for Wednesday, maybe I'll feel better after I talk to her.

Sorry to be such a downer for someone that is supposed to be in paradise.

Have a great day everyone!

I am sorry that you are having all these feelings. I guess even paradise has rainy days. There is an Irish saying that you should be thankful for the sad times, because if there were no sad times we would not realize how great the happy times are.

My grandmother came from Ireland in 1912. She was sick the day that her ship sailed and they made her get off and wait for the next ship to sail for New York. The ship that she was put off of was the Titanic. When she was in Ireland she believed the streets in America would be paved with gold. Instead, she got off the boat to the muddy roads of New York city in April.

She grew to love New York and never went back to Ireland. I think you are going to go through an adjustment period and make Hawaii your forever home. Hope tomorrow is better.

I hope your doctor can help; maybe there?s something they can do to help with the stress of the adjustment and change that will help get you in a better frame of mind, which will then help You get out more and then get more connected and settled in. For what it?s worth, I don?t live on an island far away and Prime is struggling to hit 2 day delivery here ? definitely not worth moving though:-)