I thought I was doing what was best but it all blew up.
on 11/9/20 12:02 pm - Amarillo, TX
I was a caretaker for my grandparents and I had contact with very caustic people. After they passed the "family" showed their true self. Family should be there for us but sometimes they just are not. I am so glad for you that you have a good resolve now and see them for what they are. We can't choose our family but we can choose how they affect us. I had to step back and drop contact with cousins I grew up with and were like siblings. I'm better for it now. It's still sad but we have to do what is right for us!
BIG HUGS!
Mel
The secret of accomplishing anything in life is to make a plan and carry it out. And if the plan does not work, then you make a new plan. I would talk to your surgeon about rushing through the surgery while you are still insured. It can be done.
The important thing now is that you are away from him and safe. It is incredibly sad about your twin. Whatever her motives, her betrayal is beyond heartless. I wonder now if she was the one who advised him to cancel your insurance so you could not have surgery. I am sure that someone else put that into his head.
We are here for you and want to do anything we can to help you. Reach out to us as often as you want. Life has a way of working out. You deserve a happy and healthy life. You will get that.
Real life begins where your comfort zone ends
White Dove you could be right in that she put that thought into his head. I am starting to realize that every time we discussed this option both were always present and both were not supportive and gave illogical reasons as to why I couldn't do it. I will check with the dr's office to see if I can speed anything up. It would be nice to have this done and then drop all my extra weight including the ex and sister.
I don't know them, of course, but have been around a long time and have very good instincts. I knew someone put him up to cancelling the insurance. I was guessing his parents, one of his family members, or one of his friends.
I would have never thought it was your sister, until you posted about her. Now I am pretty sure that it was her.
I remember telling my surgeon that my company changed insurance plans every year and that he needed to get the surgery done while I knew I still had coverage.
Real life begins where your comfort zone ends
So most of you know the story and its been a crazy and emotional week since the husband returned from his trip. I had taken much of the advice many of you gave and cautiously started planning on what I needed to do. As I stated in my last post I had a plan that I would stay with a friend when it came time to have surgery and I could easily keep things confidential about the surgery. My friend who I have known for years has my back but what I didn't count on was my twin causing more problems. While I did not tell her anything about my plans to move ahead with surgery (she was not supportive at all) she took it upon herself to tell my husband that he needed to be very aware of everywhere I go and what I do. She told him that she figured I would try to get back on his insurance and have the surgery behind his back. So, he went to HR and inquired about adding me back on to the plan (he had no intentions of that, he was using that as a way to see if I had made any moves on my own) and of course they told him they were in the process of finalizing the paperwork to get me back on. I have two people who literally are working against anything I do to get healthy and for that reason, I am going to be pursuing a divorce immediately. I had already taken most of the steps to ensure I was going to be ok after surgery so I am not worried about finances because I do have a job and I can get my own place. The main thing that is impacted is the ability to have surgery, again. I am going to take this as a minor set back. It is better that this happens now than after surgery and it throws me completely off. I will be on his insurance again for a short time until the divorce is final and that could be up to two months. I will get back on my own insurance for medications and routine office visits but surgery is out of the question. I have been numb since all this happened and I am not even living at my home right now. I am not in contact with my husband nor my sister. I am thankful to have friends that saw a need and immediately offered for me to stay with them until I get things lined out. I am also thankful that I am healthy enough to work and maintain on my own. I am having to deal with drama from the hubs on not speaking to him or letting him know where I am staying but oh well. The paralegal at the office said they should have papers to him by end of next week so to just continue with no contact until those are served. I will be won't be posting much over the next few weeks but I did want to update all of you who had offered such wonderful advice and showed concern.
I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I do hope to get back after things are settled and possibly approach this on my own but using the site for support if that is ok.
you were doing what was best ...for you! The best laid plans can have glitches. It doesn't mean it wasn't the right thing to do but that a new plan is necessary. Don't allow a change on plan to side track you. All these things they are doing let's you know how much you need to get these toxic ppl out of your life. I agree that you should try to get surgery while the divorce in in the works.
keep us posted. We care.
