Struggling since 3 mo post op, almost to year mark

Hi. I am new here and know I need to be here for support and help. First I am almost one year out. Lost over 60 lbs and now have gained back 20. I am scared and want to cry because I am beginning to go back to past behaviors and look like I use to. In feb 2019 I had a heart attack. I was huge at that time. In sept 2019 I had the gastric bypass. I was doing well the first two months then the holiday**** and I have done poorly since. I eat stuff I know I shouldn't even if it makes me sick. Many things I haven't gotten sick on, and so I'm like hey I can eat this. I know I have a food addiction. I tried therapy, and it really hasn't helped. My husband bless his heart is so helpful, but not supportive. He will bring food to me that he and I both know I can't or shouldn't eat. I try turning him down but he keeps nagging me to try what ever he has. I have two friends who have has the bypass and the switch. They are helpful in saying I can do this, but I give in to the inappropriate food to many times. I can't and don't want to go back to the way I was. I am starting to feel horrible and depressed. Which makes me stressed and that's the two factors that cause me to eat the quick easy foods. I admit I am lazy, I just don't know what to do.

You had your surgery before you were ready to make a lifestyle change. After surgery, I thought I was done with dieting. But I realize now that I have to be on a diet every day of my life. I have to weigh myself everyday, exercise every day, keep track of my food every day and constantly resist temptation.

There is no food that you can't or shouldn't eat. But that does not mean that you should eat that food. Maybe you can make a list of foods that would be better choices for your husband when he wants to treat you. Jumbo shrimp with ****tail sauce, exotic cheese, jumbo strawberries, fresh pineapple, ripe melon or a non-food treat. Maybe he can treat you to a day at a spa, or to a pedicure at your favorite salon.

Ask your husband to go for a walk with you. Plan activities that are fun and give you exercise. A trip to a beautiful park or a walk in a quaint tourist area. Maybe a day at the zoo or walking on a beach. I live in Ohio and love to visit our north coast of Lake Erie. I also go to the pool every day possible. Outdoor pool in summer and indoor pool in winter. I think of exercise as play and go to the gym to play with my friends.

I love following Weigh****cher's because you can include any food as long as you count your points. So I plan what I am going to eat and when. There is no guilt because it is part of my plan.

Make your meals fun and something to look forward to. Today I am preparing pan fried Tilapia with jasmine rice and a pesto sauce. Tomorrow I am having beef tenderloin with roasted brussels spouts and garlic mashed potatoes. Breakfast is protein pancakes with fresh blueberries. Lunches will be salads with feta or fresh mozzarella. My snack will be Weigh****cher's giant fudge bar. Nothing about what I eat says diet or deprived, but I carefully plan and weigh and measure my food amounts. I use fresh herbs generously. I stop at farm stands for fresh tomatoes and fresh fruit in season.

Eating should not be boring. Your food should be enjoyable without hurting your body. It takes time, work, and planning but the rewards are worth it.

I just wanted to say that I thought your response was a lovely one.

Find a new and better therapist. You MUST treat the addiction and build up enough resistance to avoid the sabotage. I have to ask - your husband pushes food, so how is he helpful? My wife tried that for a week and now doesn't even try. Though I can't get her to stop buying a ton of banana's like I was presurgery. I've never thrown away more banana's in my life. She can't stop. So you must stop if he won't. But you can't ignore working on the addiction. There are no magic bullets. Good luck.

Do you think maybe that specific therapist didn't work for you. I found that I needed to see someone who has an understanding of eating disorders and is able to work with someone who has a food addiction issue not just someone who is anorexic or bulemic.

I've also found that personally keeping a food journal works out very well for me. When I have my appointments with my surgeon and dietitian I am able to provide a log so they can tell me where I need to adjust. My journal is as sacred as a diary as it is the one place that I do not BS.

Are you able to control what goes on in the kitchen? Meaning you state that your husband brings you food that he knows you shouldn't eat, are you able to prepare the meals? Or are you able to prepare the meals together? There was a time where (as inconvenient as it was) I was making my meal as well as a different meal for everybody else or it was slightly altered to fit my bariatric needs.

I also agree very much with the above commenters. Please continue to reach out as we all want to be here for each other in one way or another.