Bypass surgery booked in 2 weeks. Having doubts.

Hello, new here. My names Shane, I am 37 years old and am 273 lb or 19.7st. I want to get down into the 13st range and feel this is my best way of achieving it. I struggle to keep weight off and find I over eat a lot.

I am concerned this surgery will change my life more than I would like. I want to get back to playing football and enjoy the odd night out with friends. I have my stag do in May and would like to know if nights out with the lads will be a thing of the past after surgery. Lucky if I am out once every other month but I do enjoy having a drink and letting my hair down. I don't drink at home.

Also concerned about complications /side effects. How often do they occur? Some forums are full of stories that are not great. Makes yu think even more.

Any advice you can give would be very much appreciated.

Thanks

Drinking really is not recommended and should definitely not be done till your fully healed from surgery. But I am 1 year 9 months out and I had a few drinks with friends this weekend. I had a driver so I had no worries. Drinking is different you get drunk fast but you also sober up fast. I drank often prior to surgery but now it's not that important most times I drink water after every drink to make sure I don't get sick but you do not have to give it up all together.

complications aren't that common and are usually minor. They seem to occur more than they actually do because people write about them because they're looking for advice or support. People who don't have complications usually don't broadcast that fact.

I had a stricture. Minor and an easy fix. They happen to about 5% of bypass patients, and as such, it's considered one of the most common complications - if that gives you any idea...

I tried to drink a few times and became very light-headed and stumbling after one glass or wine or one mixed drink. I no longer even try.

I know people who went from social drinkers to raging alcoholics after having weight loss surgery. This is called transfer addiction. They could no longer overeat, so substituted alcohol instead of food. While you can only eat a limited amount of solid foods after weight loss surgery, liquids run right through the pouch.

The trade-off is that you have about a 100% chance of being 13 stone for your wedding, and of staying around that weight for life. After surgery and getting to a normal weight, I felt so happy and full of energy that I did not need alcohol anymore to just relax and have fun.

Just being alive is a lot of fun now. I can go to a party, drink my diet sodas, and enjoy it as much as the people who are drinking alcohol. And my friends love that I am now the permanent designated driver and nobody else has to take a turn at it.

I like being the d.d.

I'm about 18 months out and I would say that I haven't had any issues socializing and not drinking and it doesn't have any impact on the quality of my fun! I still travel with the same group, do concerts, weekend trips, etc...I even play cards against humanity without drinking and I thought that might not work sober, lol! I was a social drinker and always enjoyed a glass of wine in an evening but not an excess drinker by any means.

Just like any surgery, complications can occur but I think you hear a lot about the extreme cases. I was much more worried about the fact that I get really sick from anesthesia and usually vomit after and the fact that would be an issue. I shared my experience and concern with my surgeon and anesthesiologist and they made sure it didn't happen. Be open and honest with your team, and I'm sure they can allay any concerns.

i never thought my weight was holding me back, but I am so much more active now than 2 years ago--and even doing the same things is just so much easier!

If you stay on the boards, you'll see "surgery is on the stomach, not the brain" so definitely plan on doing some head work on any issues you have around food. I still am!

also, if you want to see what good is like at various stages, check out the menu thread -- you'll see meals/habits/successes/challenges at 5 or more years as well as newbies and people in the middle. It's a great and supportive group!

As long as you have a surgeon who is experienced in WLS specifically, it's very safe, especially when compared to the risks of remaining obese. My surgeon told me that VSG/RNY was safer than having your gall bladder removed, which put my mind at ease. (I had my gall bladder removed years ago.)

Regarding alcohol, it sounds like you've heard about the risk of transfer addiction. It's real, and there are people on this forum who became alcoholics after WLS. In addition to the fact that you'll get drunk more quickly, another problem is that you will have lost your usual coping mechanism for dealing with stress, boredom, etc. That can make alcohol or drugs a lot more tempting.

Alcohol isn't important to me, so I decided just to forego it altogether and avoid that risk. But you will have to make your own decision about that. One question I would ask you is, on the occasions you do drink, how much do you drink? If you would typically have a dozen pints on a night out, you'd be setting yourself up for disaster if you try that after surgery! One glass, or maybe a pint, would be more reasonable. If you do decide to drink after surgery, I'd suggest you follow the advice of many surgeons and have no alcohol for the first year. That will give you time to develop good habits for dealing with stress, boredom, etc. You may find that you feel so good about your new body that you don't want to put alcohol in it.

On the subject of coping mechanisms, I used the time waiting for surgery to identify my most common triggers for eating, and develop some alternative strategies. My biggest trigger is not feeling like cooking, so I make sure to have some things in the fridge that I can just heat up and eat. Another trigger is stress, so I made a list of things I could do when stressed, including drink a favourite herbal tea (scent), cuddle with my cats (touch, warmth), or curl up under the duvet (touch, warmth). That plan really helped me after surgery.

If dining out with friends is important to you, realise that it probably won't be much fun for perhaps the first six months. You can usually order something light in a cafe, but if you go to a more formal restaurant you probably won't be able to eat more than a third of your meal. That can be a little discouraging. But eventually you can eat a little more, and you learn what kinds of things are good to order at different kinds of restaurants.

I'm 15 years out, so my perspective is the long game.

The first year (or two for some) - known here as the honeymoon period - is a unique opportunity to lose your excess weight and learn some new habits to keep that weight off. This opportunity should not be wasted because your goals will NEVER be easier to achieve.

Eventually, you'll be able to eat, drink and be merry but if you don't stick to the habits that you learned in the honeymoon period, you'll regain the weight and you'll be fat again. It's very easily done!

Maintaining your weightloss is a ***** and most veterans (5 years +) will have experienced some regain. Some just say "fuck it" and regain to their original weight and then some and some of us diet when regain happens and get back to healthy weights before "fuck it" settles in.

THESE are the considerations you should be making before your surgery - that 2ish hours you are on the table are relatively safe and easy in comparison.

Support is key to long term success, so make sure you have a plan for that as well as accountability. There's a reason I've been here 15 years and am relatively successful

You are way more than relatively successful,Kim. You are an inspiration!