What's on your Wednesday Menu, RNYers?

Good morning, everybody!

I wore product in my hair yesterday. I don't usually do that, but my co-presenter went to Harvard Law and speaks with a soothing South African accent. So I had to do something. I put on my new Hickey Freeman suit and applied the hair product.

"Do you remember the guy who spoke at the section 355 conference?"

"The really smart guy with the accent?"

"No, the Silver Fox with the perfect hair."

I don't even know if regular people call it "product". That's what the girls from Sports Clips call it. Guys go in on Saturdays. Everybody knows that we are headed for a nap as soon as we leave. Why would we put product in our hair? It will just slick up the couch. But the girls offer it with a glimmer in their eyes, that makes it kind of tempting. It only took me 13 - 15 times to understand that there was no secret offer and that their glimmer was just the vision of selling more product. So now I skip the product and my couch is no longer slick.

The city taxi drivers get a similar expression in their eyes when they offer a voyage on Lower Wacker to me. I can't understand their angle because they get the same fare regardless of whether we drive on the surface or sub arteries. But nonetheless, They get that gleam in their eyes when they offer me the option to journey onto lower Wacker. With knowing smile, and singsong voice they ask "would you like to go on Lower Wacker?" as if they were unfurling before me some secret pathway to untold wonders. A pathway of emeralds and rubies. I don't have the heart to remind them that its just a rat infested underpass, so I always just ask them if they think that its quicker.

Back to the hair product though. I'm not so good at using it. There is a series of errors that I repeat each time no matter how hard I try to avoid them. It's like when you tell a child not to think about Polar Bears. I start out with good intentions, focused in front of the mirror with game face on, and gel in hand. But then I lose focus. Usually I think of that greatest of all hair gel movies, There's Something about Mary. That causes me to get silly and break my concentration. As I go to apply the product, my aim is invariably too low and I have a forehead crash. Touching down too soon, my hand bounces off and there is only gel on the very top of my hair. My forehead is as slippery as a greased hog at the County fair.

At this point, panic sets in. I abandon plans for applying the gel in a smooth, glancing manner and instead wipe the excess forehead gel onto my palms, rub both together, and apply the product to my entire hair as if I was re-shampooing. Now my my entire head is greasy and spiky. Finally, I comb it out, get dressed, and with shiny forehead face my day.

QOTD: Another Irish from Boston, so almost too many to count, hence the Flourouracil cream. Usually the worst have been in the Spring when it doesn't seem so hot. I remember one day getting a terrible burn on my hand from carrying my gold bag with my hand on the woods facing up in late April.

Breakfast: Turkey meatballs and cottage cheese

Snack:Protein bar

Lunch: Ahi tuna salad

Snack: Light and Fit

Dinner: TBD

Need to get a few miles in on the challenge tonight.

Have a great day, all!

You should YouTube your product application process! You'd go viral!!

I hate it when people refer to such things as "product". What does that even mean? It used to be mostly cosmetologists that said that, but it now seems to be universal. I still say mousse...or gel....or hairspray...or whatever. I refuse to call it "product"! Everything is a "product". Even the thing of dental floss that's sitting on my night stand next to me right now..

My favorite scene from Something About Mary. Love your stories you always make me laugh!

Thanks, Julia, sounds like you had quite a day yourself! We are flying into Portland in a couple of weeks. I would love to meet for lunch, but we are driving to Walla Walla with another couple and I don't think they would want to wait for me.

Some hair "products" confuse me too!!

Jim, you truly are a great comedy writer! And that "pathway of emeralds and rubies"? I so want one!

Happy Wednesday!

A friend recommended a Netflix show Unbelievable, which is based on a ProPublica article from a few years ago and I'm am just furious. I was mad when I read the article and now seeing it on TV, I'm mad again. I think I need to drink my coffee out of my Filled Withe Rage coffee mug this morning (if any one decides to watch it, be cautious it's not graphic but definite TW for rape, abound and institutional misogyny (and some women just being awful)).

Looking forward to my cardio Pilates class tonight - I haven't been with my favorite instructor in about 10 days!

Accountability - I had an unplanned yogurt and oz of almonds.

qotd - lets see---either the time I decided a needed a tan for jr prom and laid out with baby oil (not a good idea when you are a practically translucent ginger) or the time we went camping and I ended up with a sunburn, sun stroke and a short hospital stay (don't need let your 7 year old practically translucent ginger fall asleep in the sun). Now I bathe in sun screen, wear swim capris and rash guard and although I look like a dork, hats and am an active sun hider!

menu today

3 oz everroast chicken, 1 oz cheese

cottage cheese

l&f yogurt

Not sure about dinner, maybe will try the chaffle if I feel motivated.

Have a phenomenal day everyone - we're close to the end!!

Yes, I heard Unbelievable discussed on a podcast. They basically gave the same review--really good, really important, and very upsetting.

Do you listen to The Daily (the NY Times podcast)? Today's episode had me in a rage. It was about Gloria Allred's involvement in covering up for Harvey Weinstein. GARBAGE.

Oh, I have not heard that but i did see something yesterday about the female lawyer offering to plant stories about his accusers and their "mental instability". So awful!!!

My friend binged all of Unbelievable last weekend, I am not going to be able to do that - i will get through it but going to have to do an episode at a time over some space.

I started listening to Crime Writers On which covers podcasts and movies but i had to stop because 1) spoilers and 2) it's making my "to listen"/"to watch" lists too long...and I'm already supporting a "TBR" list that I need to live forever to get through, lol