Considering gastric bypass

hi all! I am looking into gastric bypass. I have a couple questions that I feel like the dietician at the office kind of worried me about but I also feel like it's her job to almost "scare" you a little.

Basixally I want to know, 2-3 years from surgery, will I ever be able to eat normal foods again, obviously in moderation?

Will I be able to enjoy a small piece of wedding cake or have a single drink at my wedding? Will I be able to go to birthdays and have a small plate and be able to feel like I can enjoy having company over?

The dietician said no carbs for 6months and that dumping can be experienced basically forever. I don't plan on sabotaging myself but want to make sure that I can enjoy special occasions in moderation.

Thank you!!

"Moderation" is a dangerous term. If any of us were good at moderation, we wouldn't be in a position where we needed surgery in the first place. Surgery fixes your stomach, not your head, and will not fix your relationship with food.

Dumping only happens to about 20% of rny patients. There's no way to tell beforehand if you'll be one of them.

Alcohol is dangerous. Many people suffer from transfer addiction after surgery as they are no longer able to self-medicate with food. Some people may be able to handle a single drink, but for a lot of people it's safer to abstain altogether, even on special occasions.

After surgery, you will need to renegotiate your feelings about food and social occasions. I can still go out to dinner with friends at a restaurant because I know what is appropriate to eat, I feel no shame about eating a very small portion, and I don't mind taking home leftovers. Some people struggle with that, though, and may need some help from a therapist to work through this and similar issues.

At 15 + years out, I eat like a "normal" slim person, not like a morbidly obese person.

There are things I never eat - ice cream, cake, donuts etc

On a day to day basis, I don't eat pasta, bread, rice, potatoes, but I'll maybe eat a tiny bit on an occasion.

For example, I just had lunch at Cheddars where I had lemon pepper chicken breast with green beans and carrots. The dish came with rice, which I left. I NEVER eat dessert, but will eat an occasional piece of chocolate.

I have fallen off the wagon in the past years and regained up to 60lbs, but I know what to do and have never let myself get to the "eff it" stage which so many do and so have always been able to lose it.

I'm at a normal BMI for my height/age and am maintaining pretty effortlessly at this point.

thank you so much for your feedback!

I definitely plan plan on the lifestyle change.

Do you not eat desserts or carbs because of a healthy choice or because it makes you sick? I know I will have to avoid carbs and I'm fine with that. I guess my question is-- will I ever be able to have a small bite of cake for a birthday or a bite of my wedding cake..?

Thank you again!

I'm very strict with myself and so it's a combination of health/weight maintenance and avoidance of a slippery slope.

I'm 57 now, so staying healthy is my no 1 goal! The fact I can still wear a bikini is a bonus!

Beware the slippery slope of trying a bite of this or a nibble of that. You should not even consider these foods until you are at your goal weight. You have a finite amount of time to lose the weight, don't waste it!!!

Thank you!

I'm 10 years out from RNY. Yes, you'll be able to eat normal foods again, but if you make the mind shift required for long term success your "normal" will be something different than it has been up till now. I can pass on the cake. I know that ice cream can cause blood sugar changes that are uncomfortable for me. I quit drinking alcohol before my surgery but I'd dare say that many WLS grads have had a sip of champagne at their weddings.

I truly enjoy entertaining - and sometimes I cook for "them" with old favorites, rather than just for "me." That said, I most often opt for a great salad, sparkling water, fruit, and some kind of grilled protein (grilled salmon is my summer favorite right now).

At someone else's birthday (hubby's was this week) - I bought the cake, I brought the kids around the table, and....I had 2 bites. It was fine....but tasted so sweet I wasn't in love with it.

As for dumping, it can occur and it can surprise you. Let me give you 2 examples. (1) First dump - was my normal protein shake. But I'd waited to long to eat and my system flipped out and it was a full blown event. (2) Years later (like 9 years) I decided to have a small bowl of cheerios with milk. I had eaten cheerios dry before and tolerate milk well. But together? No. Not quite as bad as the first time, but the signs were clear. Don't do that.

And I agree - we are not good at moderation. Best pre op advice from a group leader at my surgery center was this:

We made our own rules for years. And making our own rules has brought us here. We walk through this door and we MUST agree to follow the rules set forth by a surgeon.

And that's what it comes down to.

Thank you so much for your response. You answered all my questions. I really appreciate it!!