Getting my surgery soon, I'm a little scared.

It's normal to be scared, but don't let fear overwhelm you. If you haven't built a relationship with a therapist to help you talk through your emotions and put them into perspective, start now. I found a great one through MDLIVE, which allows us to visit virtually.

I had three C-sections before my RNY, and personally, I found less stressful to be asleep (or put under) during surgery. Do not spend any more time worrying about that.

Speaking as another person who tends to be anxious, I think we tend to amplify the worry because this is an "elective" surgery and we fear making a wrong decision. I suggest you consider the following:

• Make a list of the most important reasons you are having the surgery.
• Then write down all of the alternatives you tried before making the decision to have surgery.
• Also write down any other alternative you considered and why you didn't choose that alternative. (Do noting is a valid alternative, but that will get you older, heavier and sicker)

This document becomes your "why" story. It helps your head to remember all of the logical reasons you have made this decision, so that you can speak logic to your emotions.

Before surgery I worried about so many things. I used my "why" to help me remember the risk of not having surgery was worse than the risk of moving ahead. After surgery I second guessed myself when I frustrated by how hard everything felt. Again, I used my "why" to speak logic to my emotions and that helped me focus on moving forward.

I am 11 years out now from RNY. Is everything perfect? No. Is my life better for having gone forward with the surgery? Absolutely. I have experienced so many adventures I couldn't have had carrying around the extra weight. The physical surgery has allowed me to maintain a 100 lb weight loss, but more importantly, the emotional work has given me greater insight into "me", and I don't need to use food to hide from emotions or comfort my soul.

Best wishes to you on your journey.

I was 43 when I had my surgery and not unlike you had never had any surgery other than my 2 C-sections. I was petrified that the surgery wouldn't work for me. I was terrified I wouldn't wake up. I was scared when they told me that I had high blood sugar levels and needed a shot for diabetes the morning of my surgery, I thought that meant I would not get surgery that morning but, but I did get my surgery that morning.

I did wake up, the surgery did work for me, and I no longer have diabetes. I had my surgery almost 13yrs ago and have been up and down in my weight but have never let my weight get as high as it was when I had my surgery. And life changed for me as my weight did, in good ways. I lost my weight while realizing my husband was no good for me.

I watched my kids grow up and have families of their own. I got remarried to an amazing man. I moved somewhere I would have never moved before. I have an amazing relationship with my kids and would not have changed anything I have been through because the chances of me living with the weight I got myself too was almost zero.

Because of surgery I have been around to see and experience all these things, good, bad and indifferent. Please don't fret and get prepared for an amazing ride. You can use your time worrying or you can use it getting ready for the ride your about to take. Loose skin is NOTHING compared to what your going to gain. I have loose skin and needed plastic surgery for my breasts but the other loose skin is not noticeable and no one knows about it but those who need to. You'll be fine. I'm sure you didn't worry about loose skin when you were pregnant, so don't worry about it now.

Good luck, wish you well

PiggyAngel

It's normal to be a little scared. When it really will probably hit you is when, on the day of your surgery, you are on the table and they're preparing you. I believe that the reason for it is the realization by the patient that, as insurance companies will argue, weight-loss surgery is, in fact, an elective thing, even though there are medical justifications for it. So you lie there, and think/know, "I don't really HAVE to do this..."

But, if you want to/need to lose and really significant amount of weight, you do have to, and that's how you have to look at it.

What I did was ask myself, point-blank, "Do I trust my doctor?" (I did, and came to a clear realization that I really did).

If you do, and if you have confidence that you do, it will be much easier to move forward and to go ahead with things. When I was on the table, right before going under, that's when I asked myself that for the last time. If my answer to myself had been "No," I would have put a stop to things right then and there. And you can do that, too.

Hopefully, however, you won't feel like you have to. Just don't let fear overwhelm you. Weight-loss surgery these days is usually successful, and recovery surprisingly fast and easy, particularly in comparison to many other common surgeries. To wit, my recovery from WLS was much quicker and easier, and was far less painful than my recovery from a hysterectomy.

And if you follow the program and learn to listen to your body -- and you will -- there will be a minimum of complications, if any. I had, literally, none.

In short, be smart and sensible about your readiness and your safety, of course. But don't scare yourself out of surgery unnecessarily, either.