People that shame you for intentional WL

This is something i've been having a hard time with. I had a longtime friend that invited me to a group on FB. It was for plus size women to learn to love yourself. What a load of bs!

i made a post slightly mentioning I had WLS which I had to put a trigger warning on. It was pretty Swift & nasty after it was approved. I was shamed for promoting intentional weight loss. I deleted my posts and left that group for the dumpster fire it turned out to be.

it got to me though for a bit. They said that I was fat shaming for saying I was losing weight for health reasons. Absurd crap.

Just proves ve s you've got to do this for yourself. I'm glad this is an honest place ! Sugar coating crap doesn't change it from being crap.

Take care of your health Melody, you don't want to end up as pirate.

Melody,

I understand. Take care yoursef and think ever: you take the best decision. I leave of positive bodies groups because I take care my mental and phisical health. Now, smile and celebrate!

Great post Melody! I guess I get where the whole body-positivity thing comes from - but they end up deluding themselves into an 'everything is just fine with my head in the sand' mentality. You've been pro-active to do something about your health ...and you also realized what a good idea it would be to leave that group.

Good luck in reaching your goals...I think you have a high chance for good success! :)

I am extremely careful about Facebook and stop following anyone who upsets me with their posts. I found I do not miss negative people at all. I surround myself with positive people and that includes social media.

There's a reason I'm not a member of any weight/diet/surgery sites on social media. I've yet to find ONE that has good information!

FB seems to be a particular problem with most groups being full of crap information and "support" in the form of chronic enabling.

I have NEVER been happy being fat, so the body positivity movement, while sounding like a good thing, and in some aspects it is, just would never speak to me.

I don't subscribe to hatred in any form on social media. I'm most often shocked at what people think is ok to say behind a keyboard. We're for sure reaping what we've sowed in the world at the moment

Don't let strangers rent space in your head!

I love when positive groups get negative. The concept of body positivity is good but you can feel good about yourself and still want to change. Change happens in life ....

I go on IG and follow a lot of intuitive eating posts. It was helped me a lot with the mental piece of maintenance. They strongly advocate that you shouldn't try to actively lose weight. Any discussions I try to have get met with - have you read this book or that book. No book is going to convince me that 400+ pounds was the ideal place my body wanted to be.

I could have written your post a few weeks ago. You can't tell me that 400lb me was healthy and that I would be able to get on the floor with my grandchild and play... Wasn't going to happen. My BP is no longer in the danger zone and I only have 1 medication left for a health issue I used to take 5 for, and they weren't really working. I'm happy, healthy, and have no problem with the size anyone else wants to be, for me I'm where I want to be.

Many years ago, (pre MySpace even!) I was a part of those types of websites/chat rooms/groups. Women would absolutely rage against and attack any other women who was even slightly "not a fat girl". Most of the women, at their core, were worried that the "skinny *****es" would steal away the men who were also on the site; the "admirers". I was never one of the most rabid of the women, but I definitely had the same type of attitude. I cringe now at the thought of it.

I can tell you that the anger they felt at you comes from jealousy and fear of their own mortality. They would never admit it, of course, but deep down, NO ONE truly wants to be morbidly obese. They know deep down how unhealthy they are or will be. Your presence there reminded them that their bodies are basically ticking time bombs. I hate that I sound harsh, but having been a part of the fat acceptance community...I can say that that is the truth.

I think the loudest detractors are probably the ones who most fervently wish to lose weight. If they were given the chance to lose their weight with WLS, I have zero doubts they'd do it in a heartbeat.

Women of their ilk are all for body positivity until a woman wants to lose all of her excess weight; then...that woman is "the enemy". I think most women in those types of groups think the newly skinny woman will not only "steal the guys", but they'll call all plus sized women terrible names and make fun of them.

The most ****** up part of those types of groups is the fact that if a man was among them, and he lost all his weight and got in shape, they'd be complimentary and encouraging. ( and they'd all want to boink him, of course. )

So many of the body-positivity groups are absolutely terrible. The "health at every size" advocates call WLS "body mutilation" and will run you out of town if you even mention that you're considering it. Apparently "every size" is a complete misnomer.