Need support - alcohol becoming an issue

Hello everyone, I had RNY a little over a year ago. About 6 months ago my husband left me and now I'm struggling with alcohol. It has a grip on me like a vice. Any thoughts or suggestions? I'm already in therapy, and in contact with my family doctor and hospital's weight clinic to address it. But it's scaring me and I don't want to let it get out of control. Thank you.

To accept your struggling is a great first step. Telling your medical team is so important. You look like your doing all the steps. Follow the advice of your doctors. Keep posting here. We are a supportive team. You are not the first to struggle with this problem.

Thank you so much! I know I'm taking steps in the right direction but still just scared I guess. Never expected to be in this situation. My life is great following surgery, I'm so happy to have my life back.... except the relationship and now this. I really appreciate the support. Thanks for your reply.

There are countless forums online that deal with alcoholism the way that OH addresses issues with weight loss surgery. Alcoholics Anonymous is a great source of information and you don't even have to leave your house to benefit from it.

(If AA ends up interesting you, call the 1-800 number and someone will tell you about AA and/or even take you to a meeting or meet you at one.)

You might also google "alcoholism and weight loss surgery" or even just "alcoholism". You almost certainly will bring up enough material to keep you busy reading for a very long time.

Lastly, If you'd like to PM me I can give you more specific info based on what exactly your are looking to know.

I'm glad to see you taking this on so early out; you'll likely save yourself tons of misery by facing your concerns down now as opposed to years later in your post op life. Good luck and take care.

You need to give up the alcohol for good. Became an complete abstinent.

AAA can help, initially - daily meetings.

BTW - not sure if you are on any antidepressants but when I was on Lexapro, I couldn't stop drinking. By the end of the day when Lexapro would "stop working", and I felt anxiety, uneasiness getting to me, that glass of wine, or a beer looked very tempting. Except I often couldn't stop at one.

Once I got off lexapro I started doing much better. Even with anxiety.

Last year my doc put me of Cymbalta, and that really helped my anxiety and alcohol cravings.

I wish I could have a glass of wine once in a while. But I accepted that I can't stop at 1 when I start.

Since I am on Cymbalta, it doesn't bother me there is plenty of alcohol in the house (wine, beer, vodka, etc). My partner can have a drink if he wants to (very very seldom) but I no longer really want any.

Cymbalta helps with my anxiety, and I am back on a small amount of lexapro for depression. That combination works rather good for me.

When I was quitting - the first 2 weeks were tough. Really tough. I did not think I drank a lot, but I drank every day, and I had the typical alcohol withdrawal side effects. Sweeting was the worst. I was overheating and sweating.

In retrospect, I probably should have checked myself into a treatment to detox. For many reasons, it was not an option.

I took some vitamins and minerals and lots of fresh water to help flush the toxins out. Lots of minerals. First 3 days - I tapered my alcohol so I wouldn't go into a shock. That worked for me, but I would advise anyone with heavy drinking- if you can, get medical help while you detox.

Some people may black out, get seizures while trying to get off alcohol. That can be really dangerous. I started tapering it down on Wednesday- Thursday, and by the weekend I was in full detox phase. I took long weekend, and by Tuesday after the detox, I went back to work.

For app a month I needed more rest, and my quality of sleep wasn't the best.

I drank herbal teas for detoxing, specially some recommended for kidneys and liver. I made a gallon of tea like that and drank that all day.

Good luck. Please stop drinking.

Thank you so much for your honestly and advice. I am supported by my weight clinic and family doctor who say I'm in good shape. I guess it's just the fear of losing control.

I will try some of your techniques, such as the tea, as I also really love tea and coffee. I'm also reducing the amount everyday and that is helping. I told my doctor 6 mths ago there are articles online about my antidepressant leading to alcohol abuse, so we will be exploring alternatives at my next appointment.

I don't feel that I'm at the stage that requires complete abstinence and AA, it's just a bit troubling that I feel the pull towards it as a coping mechanism. Luckily I'm self-aware enough to get this under control early before it affects my life. That's what they tell me anyway. LOL

I wanted to reach out to the WLS community (as I know this is a common problem) and get some support.

Thank you for your advice and time. I will keep you all posted. Much love

You starting that post - indicated to me - that you may be getting concerned. And you not that far from the surgery.

Before RNY I never had issues with alcohol. I always had a very well stocked bar, but some drinks were there for years, i.e good whisky or cognac, brandy, etc. I often just did not feel like drinking even when my friends would have something, in my house or when we were out. My own system would often stop having more than a glass of wine. Next just "did not sit right"

I never thought I would have a problem. Never Ever. But I saw the posts on OH and I tried to be carefull.

With RNY- because we no longer have fully functioning stomach, and we no longer have a intrinsic factor, almost all alcohol can and enters the bloodstream as we drink it. Before RNY - my stomach would tell me when I had enough. After - the alcohol almost immediately got into the small intestine, and I would not get sick, but I got a nice buzz. Soon after, as my liver started processing alcohol, the buzz would get weaker, and I would have another sip or a glass.

Most people with normal stomach deactivate some the alcohol before it enters the small intestine. Now - we get it all. To me - it feels almost as I drink is like 2 drinks, more than I actually have - the effect of alcohol on my body doubles, but I don't get the other negative side effects including really bad hangover.

Plus alcohol helped me with my gut cramps. Plus I could eat more because alcohol made it less sensitive for full signals. Or reacted badly to some foods.

In my 11 years post op, I had months I did not drink, but I also had months of having social drinks. Or stress relief drinks. Or just because it could help my digestion.... and pain from hernia.

Last year I was dealing with a really bad stress, lots of gut pain (hernia and IBS), back pain, sciatica, etc etc. Alcohol was the easiest way to help me with that. I would just had a glass of wine, and go to bed. Not big deal, right?

Except I started gaining weight. It is so easy to gain weight when not only I was getting empty calories from alcohol, but alcohol also can improve digestion, and increase absorption of calories. Plus, it is so easy to just get a bite or 2 of a dessert. Or add a small roll to a dinner.

Before I knew it - I gained 30 lbs. No big deal, right? I started exercise more, and limited my diet. But i could not lose weight when I was having my 1 or 3 drinks... (mostly 1)

So I decided to give up the wine, and beer, lose the weight, then I could chose to add some adult's beverages once I am back to my weight goal. And that's how i realized that I had a hard time not to have a drink. And that's when I realized that once I stop - I would no longer drink.

Since September, I lost 40 lbs, and I have been maintaining that for the last month. Actually I only wanted to lose 30 lbs. Not 40. But without alcohol, with my IBS, and with my protein forward diet, I have a problem stopping the weight loss. I lost an additional 10 lbs, 40 total, and now I am trying to add some better carbs than my IBS can tolerate to stop losing even more.

I am sure if I would add a beer 1-2x a week, i would not have that issues: "Losing too much" . But detoxing was rough for me. I did not expect that. I don't miss the drinks, unless my IBS gets *****y. But - knowing what I know now - adding alcohol is not an option for me. For many reasons.

My ex was an alcoholic. His daily drinking eventually caused the break up of our marriage.

My personal test to determine if I am having issue with alcohol - was to give it up for a month, or longer. And see how my body and my mind react. In the first 9-10 years post op, there were times that I drank more or more often, but until this time, I had no issues to abstain for a week, month or longer. (i.e back surgery, long recovery from plastic surgery)

This time was different. This time I used alcohol as a way to coupe with pain, IBS and emotional stress..
I was able to give it up on my own, and after the first 2 weeks, I started doing OK.

But I'm not sure if I would be so lucky next time.

There are some that are physically addicted to alcohol but there are also many that are kind of addicted to the "euphoria" of getting intoxicated.

I've had some success with a drug called naltrexone in dealing with alcohol. It basically blocks the pleasure of getting drunk. Google The Sinclair Method for info.

Thank you SO MUCH for this info. Been doing some research into this and it's very interesting. Will be discussing with my health care providers :)