Decision

Hi I am new to the group. I am having trouble deciding whether to go ahead with the surgery or to continue to try to lose and more importantly, keep weight off on Optifast. I am terrified about giving up many foods including my occasional indulgence in fast food, my favourite fish and chips, nice desserts etc. I know that I have a psychological dependence on food. I have been on numerous diets including Optifast four times-I can lose but can't maintain. It seems I am an all or nothing person. So how did you make the decision? Did you have the same fears? How did you get over them? Thanks in advance for your wisdom.

I'd gained and lost weight MANY times over my adult life. Forty pounds here, sixty pounds there. It always, always, always came back - plus I had over 200 to lose, and I couldn't even manage to keep 50 or 60 lbs off. I finally realized that try as I could, I was never going to be able to do it. So I turned to WLS.

you will have food restrictions the first few months for sure, and some things won't sit well with you for quite awhile. After about a year out, I could pretty much eat anything - although too much fried food or sweet things makes me feel like crap for the rest of the day, so I avoid it or just eat a little bit of it. I can handle pretty much everything else - I just make sure to factor it into my daily calorie budget. The first year or so, though, you'll need to eat very protein-forward and really cut back on the simple carbs (and some of us have to continue to do that for the rest of our lives).

all that said, having WLS was on one of the best decisions I've ever made. My life as a normal-weight person is 100% better than I ever dreamed. I will NEVER go back. Even for my once-beloved fish fries!

Thank you for your candid reply!

I did the same thing had a date in 2015 and Chickened out decided to do weigh****chers only to hit 299 lbs in October of 2017. Went to a different surgeon felt very comfortable with the group and not looked back 15 months out and I'm down 146 lbs and I have no obesity related health issues. Don't hesitate run and get this done it's life changing. I always say my biggest regret is not doing it sooner

Thanks!!

Undoubtedly, you will get the (great) advice to seek a therapist who can deal with food addiction. The psychological dependence won't go away - you will just have a smaller stomach. So it's very important to start to work on that, and to be mentally ready for the changes you will undergo. After surgery you won't be able to eat based on emotions (happy, sad, lonely, depressed, etc.). If you don't deal with the head stuff, you likely won't get to goal or will lose some weight and then immediately regain. With RNY, you also need to be committed to taking vitamins (multi, calcium, and for many of us iron) so it's not just a decision to make lightly.

Lest I sound all doom and gloom, here's the great part. If you commit, mentally, to following your surgeon's plan and changing how you eat, you can live an infinitely better, healthier, longer life. I went from 351 down to 160, and even with some regain I am battling now, I am 1000% more energetic, lively, and pain-free. No longer do my knees ache. No longer do I have anxiety about a middle seat on a plane. I can exist as a normal size in the world. Re: your favorite foods, yeah, you will have to give some up. Hell, my first year after surgery I was a machine and did not eat off plan. I ate high protein, low carb and I got it done. After that, your stomach is a little bigger, your resolve is a little less, and it becomes harder work, to be in maintanence. But guess what? I don't miss those gigantic heavy meals that used to comfort me. I can still have a few bites here and there of old favorites. I also have new versions of my favorites. I don't need to eat a medium pizza. I can have two slices of thin crust pizza. Or use a low carb wrap. Or bake a mixture of ricotta cheese and pizza sauce and mozzarella for a bubbling, low carb meal. I just found a recipe for "fried" fish in my air fryer. No deep frying required. I eat wings from the air fryer every few weeks too. No oil but just as crispy! If I am forced to eat fast food, I get chicken tenders at Chick Fil A (no fries) or we go to Chipotle and I get a burrito bowl without the rice. It's still, at five years out, 3 solid meals. Some people dump from sugar and don't eat desserts. Sugar doesn't affect me but I generally choose not to eat them. Or again, I can have a scoop of ice cream in a bowl, not 3 scoops in a waffle cone with a topping.

So the short answer is, you have to be ready to put the work in. Weight loss surgery is a TOOL and your success is 100% dependent on how hard you work. I have seen the sad stories on this site of someone who had surgery and lost 40 lbs and plateaued, or worse, began to regain. Your stomach will be small, but you could graze and snack all day and take in more calories than you expend (hence the gaining). it's totally up to you. It sounds like you might not be ready for this, so take your time. I highly suggest you read Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies - I found it super helpful to set the expectations of what I was getting myself into. It's without a doubt, the best thing I ever did for myself, to have RNY.

Good luck!

Thanks!

Great post, thanks Em!

That's a hard one. I have given up foods but they weren't hard choices for me. I don't eat bread but I've never been a bread eater. I have gone 2 or 3 times through the fast food line but I will get something like a grilled chicken and just eat the chicken and what little sauce doesn't come of on the bun. Have you tried counseling? There's a lot to be said for being psychologically ready for the surgery. Surgery isn't a guarantee of maintenance, it's a tool and if you don't use the tool, the tool won't work. Yes, I did have the same fears. I also had a lot of food funerals thinking I could never have my favorite foods again. You can have a lot of those foods again as long as you keep in mind that primary consideration is being sure of protein intake and lots of fluids. This decision will impact your life forever so it is deserving of great consideration. I did a lot of research, knew I had reached the end of my rope and that any other choice wouldn't serve me well. Hope that made sense.

Thank you!