Day 6 - Calling all Vets - questions for you all

Hi everyone. I decided to ask people on the RNY menu thread last Monday if they had a question for an OH Vet (Veteran) here what would they ask? I got great feedback and have 16 great questions that some of our regular posters wanted to ask the Vets here.

Here on OH if you are 5 yrs post op you are considered a "Vet." So everyone who is 5 yrs post op or more are welcome to chime in (RNYers, VSGers, DSers etc). I will ask two questions per day per post, today is Day 6. I hope that all the Vets out there will help us by giving us your experience, insight, knowledge & expertise to all of the pre ops, newbies, anyone post op who is struggling, anyone who is a lurker but does not post and for any Vet out there who may have had regain and is fuzzy about the "rules" and needs help.

Thanks in advance to all the awesome Vets!

When you reply to make it easy please just say "Response to Q1" or "Response to Q2" hope that works! Can you also include in your response how many years post you are, thanks

Question #1 (Q1):

What in your opinion & in your experience is the most important rule to follow to be successful in maintenance?

Question #2 (Q2):

How do you navigate the "head stuff"? Does it get easier as time goes by? What do you recommend for someone who is struggling with this post op?

Lets talk!

Hi Daisy! Good morning and thanks for keeping these going :)

I am 5 years, 3 months post-op, and have to lose 25 lbs of regain

Q1 (most important rule to follow in maintenance): Well, for me, my regain in year 4 is due to...sticking my head in the sand. I stopped weighing my food, stopped logging it in MFP, and stopping weighing myself everyday. I seriously just stopped all of the things that made me successful in the first place! Sounds nuts, right, but I just got it in my mind after being more or less the same weight for 4 years that I could "eat like normal people, just in smaller amounts". Well obviously I wasn't good initially at eyeballing portions and making good choices or I wouldn't have gotten up to 350+ lbs. So yeah, for me, I have to remain vigilant and weigh my food. Even now, when I am portioning out my deli meat on my little electronic scale, sometimes I think 4 oz looks like a MOUNTAIN and other times I think how the hell is that tiny amount going to fill me up.

Q2 (head stuff): Many people here credit therapy with really helping them with the daily struggle. I haven't done therapy yet but absolutely think it would be a great idea for all of us. I still remember being about a month post-op and having a SUPER stressful day at work and coming home and cooking a single chicken sausage in the toaster oven and eating half of it (I was full after a half) and feeling really unsatisfied (even though I was full). Before surgery, I would have tucked into a medium pizza and eaten the entire thing. And I could no longer rely on stuffing myself with food to deal with my emotions! Funny enough, after a very stressful day, now I get my angst out at the gym. How our lives can change!

LOL, about 2 weeks after my bypass, I got really stressed out and cursed my bypass. I wanted nothing more than to get ice cream and a candy bar and knew that would never work. I truly wished I hadn't done the surgery. Sometimes, that still happens and I have a difficult time with stress and emotions but I don't use food as my go to stress reliever mostly because I can't.

OMG so many times I have been totally pissed that I could not buy a pizza at Costco, hide away somewhere and eat it. I used to be able to get through at least a third of a big supreme pizza. There was such a mindless comfort in being able to stuff myself.

Luckily I cannot do that now. I recently discovered that I enjoy walking up to feed the animals instead of driving in my golf cart. I have started counting steps. Completely amazes me how my life has changed.

It completely amazes me too! In fact, I am going to start a thread about that...I had a total "aha" moment last night at spin class!

These have all been such great questions, Daisy. Thank you again for this.

I'm 5 years, 9 months, and 14 days out. And today, so far, not over caffeinated...so far.

Q1 response: The most important rule in relation to food: never stop logging, never stop weighing out protein or measuring out other portions. Never. Also never drinking with meals. The most important non food rule: Vitamins and supplements are NOT OPTIONAL. They are a must have. You MUST take them. If you don't, all sorts of bad stuff can and will eventually happen.

Q2 response: Counseling. If we don't get our heads on straight and address any issues that resulted in emotional eating, those issues can rear their heads later and either cause a transfer addiction or cause us to go back to eating emotionally and toss the rule book, and our weight loss, out the window. Frankly, counseling sucks. I hate it, it often left me an open, walking wound...BUT...it helps in the long run. Even if you think it won't help...it helps.

I went into counseling a couple of years ago to help me deal with my daughter and her own mental health issues. My eating habits improved and I lost my regain even though I was not actively addressing the horrors of my childhood that drove me to start overeating in the first place. My eating being on track was a nifty side effect of just getting help in general. I stopped going about a year ago, but really need to get back to it.

Question #1 (Q1):

What in your opinion & in your experience is the most important rule to follow to be successful in maintenance?

This: Pay attention. Pay attention if you gain 5 lbs (or whatever threshold you may set). Pay attention to your vitamins. Pay attention to your eating, and while you become more flexible as time goes by, you can't take it for granted. Pay attention to how you cope with stress in life. Pay attention to the jeans being tight. Pay attention to hydration. Pay attention and be good to yourself.

And with that:Remember. Remember the joy of dropping those pounds and feeling "normal." Remember the joy of zipping that pair of jeans straight out of the dryer. Flip side: Remember how it felt when some part of your body hurt all the time. Remember how it felt to shop plus sizes. Remember how it felt to be the biggest person in the room. Remember your own personal history, and learn from it.

Question #2 (Q2):

How do you navigate the "head stuff"? Does it get easier as time goes by? What do you recommend for someone who is struggling with this post op?

I am a GREAT fan of GOOD THERAPY. If someone struggles with anxiety or depression or coping or life in general - I'd take them by the hand and say "Get help." Sometimes just a little, sometimes it takes more. But get help if you need it.

On an everyday basis, my head stuff issue is denial. I gained a little weight and thought it was ok. A little more and I knew I wanted to lose it, but was comforted that a normal person might want to lose 10-15 lbs so I was still ok. Now I am looking at 25 and it's not ok. I denied it for too long.

I also realize that through some major life issues (marriage issues, caring for an aging parent, ultimately losing my mother, tons of family drama, finances) I lost my priority of caring for ME. I stopped exercising, ate erratically (thus the weight gain), wasn't sleeping, quit reading the books I enjoy, etc etc. Instead I put everyone else first and that is not a healthy coping mechanism. Thanks to GOOD THERAPY (see above!) I have learned some things about setting proper priorities and am taking it from there day by day.

Love that response, pay attention. Absolutely.

Just another quick note to Daisydoo: THANK YOU for these questions! As a nearly 10 year vet they have been a wonderful reflection for me! I hope they have helped others earlier in the journey!

1. Being honest with yourself about food. Burying my head in the sand did me no good.
2. Easier? Yes and no. I had little awareness of how much I used to avoid my emotions and numb myself. Once I had to feel my feelings, I started to work on getting better. I still have days that involve me eating things that are not great choices, but it isn't a constant bacchanal of crap like it was before.