Torment (can a helpme...)

A wise soul once said "Being fat is hard, being skinny is hard. Pick your hard."

Focus on the positives, & so you shall be.

God Bless

I wold see like you.

Same here. It is just a different game, and you will need to change or somehow alter your mindset. I could never have lost weight without rny. I now have a fairly healthy and fairly slim body and all the benefits that go along with it. However, I now have to remember to take vitamins, and calcium, and eat small portions, and stay away from sugar, and get enough protein, and limit my carb intake.

It is a different game, and I much prefer this game. But I think you have to choose it in your mind.

I learned being "morbidly obese" was a psychological protection for me. I didn't have to deal with my trauma. It allowed me to feel protected and safe.

Lossing weight opened many negative feelings. Maybe you are reacting to how differently people treate you after weight loss. Maybe you feel lost in a world that you thought you knew. What ever you feel find a postive way to live with your new life.

You have walked out of a new door. Get counseling there are places online. Start to enjoy your new life one day at a time. It would suck not to learn to at least like your new life. Keep pushing forward and love yourself.

Thanks, i agree.

Cris-

I never thought I would "meet" someone more negative than I was in the past when I first started seeing a Psychiatrist for severe depression. I used to get angry when people would tell me I was my own worst enemy and to lighten up and give myself a break. (In fact, I got angry at pretty much anything anyone said to me!)

Your RNY and everything associated with it are not tormenting you. Like I did, you are needlessly tormenting yourself!

Do you think you would be free of worries, complications, and especially, doctors if you stayed at a BMI of 40 with hypertension, diabetes, high cholesterol, etc? No, you would be juggling appointments with a primary care physician, cardiologist, nutritionist, and endocrinologist, for starters . . . OR you would be dead from all the problems related to morbid obesity.

I don't think any of us will be able to convince you to see things differently, no matter what we tell you. You need to learn how to reframe situations and see the positive in things.

Places and situations you find yourself in aren't either all good (in your mind, being morbidly obese) or all bad (in your mind, having had RNY surgery). Places and situations aren't all black and white, but more often, are different shades of gray.

I only was able to learn to change my outlook after many, many years of work with a Psychiatrist and multiple trials of different antidepressant medications. And the trip to get here was not horrible . . . self-growth and self-understanding, although hard work, are exciting!

My best suggestion is to start looking outside of yourself. You seem too wrapped up in fears and worries that don't have all that much based in reality. Go out and volunteer . . . help others in serious and tough situarions. Hopefully, you will begin to see your own problems in a different perspective. You might even find joy in your life this way!

I took my love of animals and started volunteering at the local SPCA (animal shelter). I've been volunteering there for at least 10 years. Prior to that, I did volunteer work at my church. I'm sure you have some special interests and skills to offer others.

Cris, take care of yourself. We're here for you!

---Joyce

Thank you very much.

Your answer open my eyes.

Someone with diabetes, high cholesterol, and hypertension would probably end up dependent on doctors as their body self-destructed from those conditions.

Freedom is great, until you drop dead of a stroke before age 40.

Hi Cris,

I agree with everything everyone said. I think you need help with sorting out all these feelings that appear to be burying you. Just one more thought,

I welcome the responsibilities I have to be healthy and live a long life. My husband didn't and he died. Freedom of not worrying about your health catches up with you and the price can be too high. Think of it as feeding the disease, speeding up death.

Good luck and keep us posted on how you are doing....

How far out are you? I wa**** with a vicious depression not long after my surgery. It's called post-surgical depression, and with help, it goes away. It's not limited to WLS. It can be brought about by any surgery. I'll echo others here, and encourage you to seek help. Depression of any kind is not something to try to battle on your own.