Torment (can a helpme...)

Friends

I miss the freedom of worrying about the body, not having to count proteins and vitamins, not being forced to make regular appointments, not to be afraid of complications. The bypass surgery has eliminated my freedom and made me dependent on doctors forever. I had IBM = 40, diabetes, cholesterol, hypertension. But I guess I was ashamed of myself. Now the shame is along with the fear. I can not have a normal life with these thoughts. It is a torment.

Couseling and support, please... I miss my joy.

I hope you are seeing a psychiatrist because your "torment" is particular to you. I dont think anyone here is qualified to counsel or support you to the degree necessary.

Thanks for your attention. I take medicines and psichological counseling.

Your post reminds me of the story in the Bible where the Israelites having left Egypt because of the great oppression placed upon them and the hope of relief from ( in this case, you mention IBM,diabetes, BP, etc), find themselves out in the desert. They are now confronted with a new set of concerns (counting proteins-vitamins, drs visits). Not willing to take responsibility for their new found "freedom", they beg Moses to let them return to the slavery of Egypt.

For me, freedom is not a place where with out responsibilities. I gladly subordinate myself to complying to behaviors and the mindfulness necessary to remain free from the life sucking existence that I used to live.

As so well suggested above, this is a mind-soul issue- therapy can help. It is doable- Sending well wishes and hope your way. -bonnie

I absolutely love this analogy and response.

Thanks for your answer.

Very well said.

If that isn't the human condition. I love this too. The whole story of leaving Egypt and back-and-forth between God and Moses over who wants to kill them all and start fresh at any particular moment. Now I have to go back and count, because I can't remember who wanted kill them most often. I think it may have actually have been God that lost His **** the most times.

I'm going to remember this for the days when I'm not feeling particularly blessed. Forever grateful over here that I was not an ancient Isrealite. I'll take WLS post-op, thank you very much. =)

Please look for a professional who is qualified to help you. Maybe even checking yourself in mental health facility so they can help you, your fears.

Even 11 years post op who already experienced multiple hernias, food allergies, sensitivities, and other health issues post op RNY, I only have such a glum view on my life.

It is what it is, and I deal with one item at a time. I am not 100% convinced that my current health issues were 100% caused by my WLS. Some issues I have now could have happened to me without it, except my docs and I would probably blame that on me being overweight. The hernias? Because I was fat, my internal tissues were stretched and the wholes were patched up with fat. When I lost weight, with wls, or without, I would have the same problem as I had. IBS- I had that way before RNY. Etc etc.

And if I remained fat I would be a miserable pains, with pains in my back, my hips and my knees.

Long terms post op I am mindful about my diet, making sure I get enough proteins. But my friends, close to my age, have to be even more mindful about their diet, also worrying about being too heavy too fat.

I no longer have to measure my calories. I eat tasty proteins, with some veggies. I can have some fruits. No longer having the constant hunger, cravings for sweets, never habhav enough to feel to get "I don't want desserts, I and satisfied with my meal.

My BF is a normie. And he eats very similar to me. He is a guy, and he is active, so he has more carbs during the day than I often do. But he is the most normal eating person I ever met. He fodoesn deprive himself, but if he has a good meal, he doesn't want any desserts. I often cook very nice dishes of meats and veggies, and with my matured pouch, my portions are not much smaller than his are. And he is more than 6" tolerate than me, and fit. He needs more calories and more carbs than I do.

As we getting older, with or without WLS - we need to be very mindful what and how much we eat. If we don't - then seroser health issues may happen, and I am personally more scared about HBP, diabetes, and other issues caused by being fat, MO. I've seen people with never healing ulcers due to diabetes, in severe pain due to diabetes neuropathy, unable to walk. Etc. I watched my MO mother in pain all the time, due to diabetes. Last 5 years she wanted to die, due to the pain and fiscomdisc she was living in. That scares me more, much more than having to be aware of eating protein based diet. Or getting a hernia, that can be fixed in a short surgery.

Please get professional help.

Thanks for sharin your experience and support.