Bypass, help me again

Olá amigos,

Como você sabe, estou tendo problemas para aceitar a cirurgia que realizei. Meu IMC foi 40, com diabetes, colesterol, hipertensão e muitas dores. Dez meses após a cirurgia, perdi 35 quilos, mas sinto que perdi a liberdade de viver e que vou depender de médicos para a vida toda. Eu tenho medo das úlceras, obstrução intestinal, anemia, neuropatias, cegueira ... O medo não passa. Estou em aconselhamento psicológico e todos os dias sinto falta de quem eu era antes. Meu marido chorou comigo hoje. É muito difícil. Por que nos mutilamos? Eu entendo para aqueles que têm IMC maior que 50, mas para o MC 40 é um erro. Qual é o uso de roupas e roupas menores? Roupas não trazem felicidade.
Qualquer um que possa me ajudar com depoimentos e encorajamento, obrigado.

Edit: I'm lost 77,1618 libras.

I think you're worrying for nothing. That stuff is EXTREMELY rare - and I have NEVER heard of anyone going blind from gastric bypass surgery. I'm glad you're in counseling - and I hope it helps.

I don't consider myself mutilated. I took advantage of the surgical options available to me -- just like I did when I had LASIK, when I had my gallbladder removed, etc. I see the doctor/medical professionals LESS now that I have the chronic medical issues that obesity can cause under control so I am not concerned about being dependent on doctors for life.

please continue to work with your therapist on how you can come to terms with the decisions you've already made. You may also want to provide feedback to your medical center that they didn't do enough pre-surgery education/support for you. If they had done a better job, you could have addressed all these issues before surgery. I imagine it is very stressful to feel this way now that it's already done. Hang in there.

Wonderfully put,Jen!

I'm sorry you're struggling. If you're in counseling and having a rough time, maybe it's time to find a different mental health provider or try a different approach?

You're right that smaller clothes do not bring happiness. But for me, who had surgery at BMI under 50, it wasn't about smaller clothes. It's about getting off my CPAP and blood pressure meds, having a healthy pregnancy, being able to ride my bike and play roller derby and be active.

You may feel "mutilated" but not all others share that opinion of the surgery.

Have you personally experienced any complications? Do doctors know why you only were able to lose 35lb? Or are you worried about things that MIGHT happen without knowing if they're a realistic possibility?

I am more healthy now than I have ever been, nearly nine years after surgery.

None of the things you mentioned have happened to me.

I am mot mutilated. I had a part of my anatomy that was malfunctioning altered so it would work appropriately. It is no different than having surgery to fix a defective heart, a broken leg or a gallbladder with stones causing In.

I consider myself extremely blessed and I hope you find your way to that thought also. Good luck.

I am just over 1 year post-op and I have lost 105lbs. I do not feel mutilated, or that it was a mistake. I was at a BMI of 48.4 when I started. I'm now at a BMI of 30. I feel so much better, everything is easier for me. I can kneel down and get up without using any support. Walking up stairs is a breeze and all movement is easier. I have had an ulcer but it is not along the staple line, and is likely caused by excess acid and I will probably have to take omeprazole for life, but I don't have heartburn or GERD anymore. My blood pressure is low again. I have to take vitamins but I took them before, I'm just more consistent now.

I am surprised you haven't lost more weight. Do you measure and log your food? If you don't you need to start.

If you are not having success with your current therapist you need to find someone else.

It does you no good to regret or second guess your decision for surgery. It is done and you can't go back. As far as all of the other things you have listed, don't borrow trouble. If you are following up with your surgeon and PCP you can address any issues that arise. All of your pre-op conditions should resolve if you follow the WLS program and nutritionists' advice and get to a normal BMI.

My only regret is that I didn't have the surgery 20 years ago.

Be kind to yourself and stop obsessing over what you can't change.

You have had such a rough time of this postop period and I am so very sorry for that. I'm glad you are working with a therapist - once you get your mind over the obstacles and possibilities you're going to feel so much better. So make sure you don't give up on therapy.

Having said that though, I'm wondering if it might be time to try a different therapist? There are many ways to attack problematic issues, many schools of thought on how best to support a patient, many paths out of the dark places where we end up in spite of the best of our trying and intentions. Have you tried anti-depressants? Those can also really help.

Now please excuse me, I'm going to be blunt.

The bottom line is that you've already had the surgery. Going back and revisiting that decision is pointless. The only recourse you have left is to make the post-op bypass life work for you. When we obsess over past decisions and or behaviors we rob the future of it's power. It becomes impossible to stay focused on the good things the days and years ahead will hold.

Just for today, or for this moment, focus on the "now". You're a smart individual, and capable of learning. Study everything you can find about how to be the most successful WLS postop person that you are. SO much information and knowledge out there - it's impossible to read it all. Some of the things you're worrying over can be controlled and prevented and by now you know which ones you can impact. Take one of those items and work it into the ground. Learn it frontward and backward until you're sick of it. Then go to the next item and do the same thing. And onward. Remember knowledge is power.


No amount of angst is going to reverse your previous decisions. Move forward. Take control of what you can control and dump the rest for now. What's done is done. It's time to write your own future now and every day is another chance to work on that. Don't be afraid. Be strong. You can do this.


And honestly I worry more right now about your having a full on psychotic break than I do about any of the physical concerns you're trying to get your arms around. There is no hope for changing the past; it cannot be done.

The only thing you can control is your own actions. Commit yourself to moving forward. Every single day remind yourself that you are in charge of a huge amount of what the future holds for you. If you begin to look back remind yourself that you're not going that way. You are moving ahead.

Sorry for the novel. Beginning to worry for your safety and mental health. Find something to look forward to. Something that encourages you. As long as we have breath there is hope.

Feel free to PM me. You aren't as alone as you feel.

OMG, this is a great response to Cris (and hopefully she can take to heart and get benefit) but also an incredible thing for the rest of us whenever we're dealing with personal change. I cut and pasted it into my notes file for when I need it in the future.