4 month plateau

I'm new to the group, had RNY in July last year. I have about 70 lbs to get to goal, but have been struggling with poor choices. I've been working around the tool, and sabotaging my efforts. Anyone else experience this? What did you do to get past it?

No real easy answer here, I just buckle down and white knuckle myself back on plan. It's easy to get off track when you stall and don't see progress for a while, but stalls WILL happen, it's just a part of the journey. You didn't gain it all overnight, so it won't always come off fast either.

I usually look back at how far I have come, and think on what I went through to get the surgery in the first place. Do I really want that all to be in vein?

You are too early out in the process to be on a 4 month plateau.

You identified your own problems- making poor choices/working around the tool/sabotaging my efforts. That does not equate a plateau.

You need to really identify and be more specific with what those statements mean. You can't make a plan to change what you do not identify. You do not need to do it to me but to yourself.

I am going to take a stab at interpreting what you said- if I am wrong then pass this by and just ignore it.

Making poor choices-: eating too many carbs.

Possibly not drinking water or waiting 30 minutes after meals to drink. Get back to Protein first. My Doc's mantra was: Protein first then veggies and then IF you have any room fruit then carbs(starchy).

Working around my tool: Grazing

You are early out- whether you eat 3 times a day or 6 times a day every opportunity to eat should be thought of as a meal. Protein first.

Sabotaging my efforts: taking a f* it attitude because I screwed up. Beating myself up.

Listen you changed your anatomy. There are no take-backs. We all have our moments but you have to mentally regroup and dig your heels in. I always say to newbies at support group- just put your blinders the first year on and move forward. This is your job right now. It doesn't get easier the further out you are. Develop good habits now.

Hope this in some way helps, you can do this.

What to do? Counceling, therapy.

To find out why are you sabotage you weight loss. What it the emotional baggage you have that you need to work through? Seriously.

For me being big meant being safe from unwelcomed male advances or rape. My weigh was my armer. My size, combined with my strength, gave me false illusion that I could be safe from that. Thankfully I had my RNY when I was older and had already some therapy in years before that. But I still needed more therapy as I was shedding the weight.

For you it may be your way to deal with stress or old childhood drama. Or jealousy of a spouse, or ????

I had to know that I could get help to deal with my emotions as I was losing weight. During my weigth loos time and for 2-3 years after I had a therapist I could see if needed. I would see her 3-4 times in a month during time I was going through challenges in my personal time, then not see her for a few months after. And then again, I could book her for 30 or 60 min, when I need her.

My weight beside being my armer was also a result of me putting my needs on hold. It was simple to grab a candy and eat it on a way to work, or at my desk, and take care of stuff. Working often 60-80 hours per week. There was not much time to cook and eat healthy food mindfully. Last year I noticed similar pattern and that's why I regained over 20 lbs. I allowed people to interrupt my lunch. It was again "grabbing a candy to prevent low BS" or eating very fast (does not work well with dense proteins,) because almost anytime I would try to have lunch, someone would find me in the brake room and I had to stop eating after just couple of bites. I made that "OK". Telling people "as long as I am in a building, you can find me and I would help you". Being a boss has its plusses and also negative points.

Why don't you think you are not worth the effort to get to normal size? Why do you sabotage yourself? Do you have people in your circle who not only enable you, but contribute to you sabotaging yourself?

The last one - it is much easier when our partner is helping not sabotage. I have my weeknesses. There is food that I can't have around because I get really tempted. My guy knows that and he actively helps. I.e when we eat out he put the bread basked by his side, as far away from me as possible. So I would not mindlessly pick on bread. (Bread is my kryptonite). He eats healthy and we seldom have fresh bread at home either. At the same time, when I really want to break my rules, he does not play the food police. I am an adult, he let me do my own stupid stuff. And when then the same or the next day I suffer the consequences, he does not give me a hard time, but he is as helpful as he can be to try to make me feel better. He knows I am punished enough by my body, and adding hurtful words would not help that. Plus - next time we are out - we pick a place that have a lot good for me options.

I hope I gave you enough to think about. You had the surgery to help you get better, losses weight, get more healthy. Why do you sabotage yourself?