If you can spare the judgemeno then please help me out
Ruth, oh, Ruth, take a deep breath, deep and slow. Do it again. What I say here may duplicate other replies that you've gotten; I don't have time to read them.
Your thinking now that surgery is done is not at all uncommon. You are not stupid. The procedure was only five days ago, which means that you have not had time to absorb what it means, given all the little instructions that are occupying you now. You have barely begun life after RNY because you still have a period of clear liquids to complete and then other in-between stages.
Please do yourself the kindness to focus on what your surgeon and the staff have told you to do. No one wants to have gall bladder removed or kidney stones or any other complications, but worrying about things that are not in front of you at the moment will accomplish nothing good. Instead, bring back the thoughts that led you to choose surgery, mainly, losing weight and being healthier and, yes, more beautiful.
Start a written (not in your head) list of all the reasons that you have been wanting to lose weight. Keep each reason narrow and specific so that the list becomes quite lengthy. You don't have to do it all at one; add new reasons as they occur to you each day. For example, when I was making up a list, I did not write "To wear whatever I want." Instead, I entered separate lines for each type of garment I wanted to wear. Every little thing belongs on the list. No reason is silly because what we want for ourselves is important. Another advantage to a great many specific entries on the list is that, as we accomplish them, it's good to see many checkmarks on the paper.
Another idea that may very well work is to make up a large calendar for the next couple of months or however long you will be following surgeon's instructions. At the beginning, enter things like the days that you'll be on clear liquids (write it in each box), then the next step and the next and so on. I find that, by keeping myself occupied with these little paperwork tasks and others, I feel power to bring about my own success. The little tasks also help keep my mind occupied instead of just sitting and having time to worry.
My middle name is Ruth, so you can trust me.
Ruth - You have made a life-changing decision to accept an opportunity to make yourself healthy. You have just undergone a major surgery. 1) Follow your dr's instructions to the letter; 2) do YOUR OWN RESEARCH as to healthy and appropriate nutrition; 3) love and care for yourself; 4) be proud that you are doing this for you and no one else; 5) know that at times it will be a difficult journey but IF YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU AND YOUR NUTRITION those challenges are normally minimal. The vast majority (hundreds of thousands every year) of people who choose weight loss surgery are successful in their path. While you have altered your body, you have not betrayed it. Commit yourself to caring for your altered body at the most optimum level. LOVE YOURSELF. This community is a great resource for support. Use it!
Never say never again - the headbattles never end.
Marie
pre-op 225 (3/31/05) - lowest 129 (6/1/06) - Happy Place - 145
Hi Ruth,
First off you just had the surgery and a lot of the stuff you are feeling is normal. Do not feel like you were betrayed. There must have been a reason you chose this procedure as the rest of us did. Being tired of being overweight, no diets working, on many drugs for blood pressure, health, etc.. Let me say this and you can tell by a majority of people who have had this done. THIS WORKS. You will feel sooooo much better in the coming months. Will you need to do your job with watching what you eat? Yes. Will you need to excersize? Yes. But it will get easier and easier for you as the weight starts to come off. As for telling people....its none of there business. You don't have to tell anyone if you don't want too. People will think you cheeted and took the easy way out and I say to them "F" you. I have busted my ass with all the different diets and did not do anything for me. Now I feel great and can do things with my family. If you need support, this site is the best for that. Lean on us if you need to to get you through the rough times. I'm telling you, once you see the weight coming off and you can shop for clothes in normal shops you have the biggest smile. Don't let anyone tell make you feel like **** Your doing this for yourself. I hope this letter helps. I had a RNY done 5 years ago. I was 410lbs and now down to 246lbs. I lost a total of 164lbs and still losing but not as fast anymore. The only excersize I do is walking but I now enter 5k walks as a hobby and do 1 a month and its a blast. Take care and keep us informed of your progress. You will get through this!
Hi! So a little more than a month past since my surgery and I will be honest and say, I still regret the surgery. I am not against it. I just think that in Europe, because of the sustem it was asigned to me not really ensuring I am the ebst candidate. I am 27 years old, I had BMI of 37, higher blood pressure and higher glucose but not yet prediabetic, and I did snore at night. I had thyroid problems, which was one of the reasons for weight gain. No psychological evaluation was needed, I got my date for surgery in less than a month from the forst consult, my doctor refuses to this day to answer some simple questions instead the surgeon reffers me to further doctors. So far the only complication that happened to me was change in my liver my AST and ALT are higher but my surgeon is not interested in the reaults and thinks that it is because I am "more sensitive". All in all, I am disappointed with medical care and I am looking more intk the private teams etc. And although i have not lost the feeling of regret, I did loose 29lbs and the initial anxiety with the help of my mother. What I have found was that I need to take care of myself more and I try to reach my goals every single day. I am starting to be more physically active and looking into some water aerobics etc. As for you, my friend, do whatever you can do, read, write, and remeber it is mostly up to you now to stand up for yourself, to put yourself first and ti reach whatever was your goal. We vannot reverse this! We can only move forward. I know it is scary and sad, lonely sometimes. But you need to find the light yourself in this situation.
