If you can spare the judgemeno then please help me out

Hi. Such emotions after a major surgery are rather common. A lot of us had, what we call "buyers remorse".

You let doc change the way your body wulwo process the food. What was done - is done.

The rest is mystery. Your future is unknown. You can work hard and make the best of it.

I is up to you. Be proactive, eat right, make sure you take vitamins and minerals.

Sure, things may happen, or may not. You may be the one with no complication, no other issues as long as you follow best eating and suplementation routine.

Make peace with what is done, and prepare for hard work ahead.

Hugs

I am so sorry you are feeling this way, but know you are not alone. Many people feel uneasy after surgery for a variety of reasons. I've felt like I had made a mistake exactly twice sense surgery. The first time was 3 days post op when I was in a lot of pain and tired and emotional. I asked myself why had I done this to my body, I had changed my insides so much, was this really necessary? I felt so bad. But after about a week I had healed up a good amount and was feeling much better and happier with my choice.

The second time was maybe 2 months post op and I was eating something (I can't remember what) and it tasted so good and I was happy. Then I started to feel the restriction in my chest and I knew if I ate another bite I would throw up and be in a lot of pain. I ended up crying because I wanted to keep eating so badly, but I couldn't. That was the day I truly felt the loss of my friend.

Surgery is not a magic fix, and it certainly does nothing to make you happier. But I promise, if you use it correctly it will make you healthier. You state that you felt as though you could've done more without surgery. No, you couldn't. If you could have lost the weight on your own, you would have already. There is a very small chance of gallbladder removal or kidney stones, but if you hadn't had the surgery you would 100% be looking at uncontrolled diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, joint pain, and more.

Again, I am sorry you feel badly and even more so that you don't have support at home. Stick around here. People will support you here. And try not to worry about those complications, more likely than not, you won't experience any of them. And if you do, they probably aren't nearly as bad as you imagine.

:)

Hugs, you are okay

I am 12 days out of surgery & have had feelings of regret many times but I keep replaying the words I've heard from several people that had the same surgery: "it was the best thing I ever did" and "this period of time is just a blip on the timeline, it gets better". I'm holding on to them now as the pain is subsiding but I am having hard time dealing with not being able to eat normal food.

I was embarrassed to tell people that I was having the surgery. I held off for as long as I could until I had to tell people at work because they would find out eventually. My family knew all along & have been super supportive as they've seen my weight become more & more of a problem the older I get.

Just hang in there & don't expect the worst. I am trying not too either.

I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. I know I was quite a it emotional for a few days (I blame the hormone dump) here are there. I think you will start to feel better once you settle into a new normal. For now, make sure you are walking and sipping water like it's your job (it is!) and I hope start to feel better soon. It might be good to take some time here on OH and read through some of the success stories-it might help.

I know I felt the same way right after surgery. I was in pain and emotional and scared. But it does pass. I'm 10 months out and would never go back. I'm down 100lbs and feeling so much better, both physically and emotionally. This is just a blip on the radar. You will get through this! And come back here often, the people are wonderful and will help you get through this. Be kind to yourself and take care.

I had my RNY in 2000, and I remember sitting at home and all I could think of was Star Trek and becoming one of the Borg. I felt like I was changing myself into something unnatural or even inhuman. Eventually days past and those thoughts faded as the weight came off. I had people telling me it was was a mistake, and if I just had will power I could get the weight off myself. I lost friends as I lost weight because I now looked better than they did and they were jealous. I lost my first marriage because I realized I could do so much better than being with a man that liked me being overweight because it made him feel more secure. He knew I could do better and as long as I lacked the confidence he knew I would never leave him. 18 years later I look back at my life and if I could go back in time I would do the exact same thing all over again. The people who said I shouldn't have surgery came to me later and told me they were wrong. The friends I lost weren't true friends or they would have stayed with me. I'm now married to an amazing man that supports me in all my dreams and helps me make them come true. As for my thoughts of being unnatural I realized life and health plays it's own little tricks on you. I have more metal and artificial parts from joint replacements, and the RNY is the least fake thing about me. Give it time. This is all new and I promise it will be the best thing you've ever done.

Oh my heart goes out to you.... calm down a bit. I'm 2 years post OP I lost 105 lbs. it's not easy but so worth it. You do what the Drs. say take your vitamins and eat your protein you will be fine. The horror stories you hear from people are the ones that don't follow what doctors say. This is a tool not a miracle pill. You have to want this and it will succeed. Nobody is going to judge you we all have fears, just take one day at a time I don't think what you did is wrong. You obviously did this because you needed it and you made the right choice. Don't let negative thoughts get in your head or people telling you did the wrong thing. You will succeed if your heart is into it, positive thoughts only keep the negative out. You can do this !!! I was so tired of being fat for 47 years I have had freedom for two years now since the first day of my surgery, do I wish I could've lost the weight on my own definitely I chose this tool and so blessed and thankful that I did it.

Blessings Linda

Ruth, first of all -- congratulations on having gone through this decision to make your life better!

Second, as someone else has already mentioned, this kind of day-after regret is not only NORMAL, for weight loss surgery, it is actually TYPICAL. The term is "buyer's remorse," because no matter how prepared we think we are, no one ever anticipates correctly exactly what will happen.

Take one breath at a time. Have a drink of water, and ask as many questions as you need to.

EVERY PERSON WHO HAS THIS SURGERY HAS A MILLION NORMAL QUesTIONS LIKE YOURS!

Hi Ruth D,

I had my surgery 10/15/2001 and so I've been out for a long while.

All I can say is you are suffering from a "Death" of your "Best Friend" food. Don't worry about it because you've done the best thing you'll ever do for your health/life!!

It took me a long time to get to goal weight, mainly because I didn't give up on all of my favorite foods, I kept junk and fast foods. Once I got rid of all if it goal weight came easy.

Just think if you weren't "Sick & Tired of being Sick & Tired" you never would have taken this step. Once you "Bury" your "Friend" you will find the success you seek.

Stay here w/us you'll get all the success you seek and you'll be posting pics showing how well you've been doing!

Good luck!!

Hi Ruth I hope you are feeling better. My surgery was rough. My lap band slide into my liver and I had a lot of scar tissue. No damage to my liver. I know it is hard and painful to recover. I'm taking it one day at a time. I felt regret too. Take baby steps and don't be hard on yourself. Keep hydrated and I'm praying for you to feel better soon.