Bariatric surgery as a couple

My husband and I are both doing the Roux-en-Y surgery together. I just got my date (1/8/18) and he will be getting his next week. Has anyone done this with their spouse? Do you have any advice? Would you mind sharing your experience?

My DH and I were the same day hours apart! I went first he went second. We spent the night in separate rooms but right next door to each other. We walked laps together during the night and were discharged the next day. We will be one year out on 12/27 and have done very well. Feel free to ask me any questions.

I'm sorry I'm new to this but what is DH? My husband and I are wanting to do it on the same day and the doctors keep telling us we should do it on separate days but we have a lot of family in the area that can help us. I'm glad to know someone else has done it, and maybe we aren't so crazy! What was the hardest part of doing it together, and if you could go back and do it again, would you do it the same day?

I will paste a link below that might help with the lingo (but I don't see DH on it which is dear husband).

https://www.obesityhelp.com/message-board-lingo

DH is dear husband.

I don't think it is crazy at all! We didn't need any help after surgery. We were not in any pain and just went on with life just at a slower pace. We had prepared ourselves with things we would need - protein shakes, protein water, soups, yogurts, etc. We bundled up and took walks around our property (it was December), sipped water and rested. It seemed like a pretty easy recovery too me.

The hardest part was watching him lose weight faster than me BUT, I have exceeded his weight loss. We are able to help each other make good choices and remind each other to take our vitamins or drink more water. We grocery shop and meal prep together on Sunday morning/afternoons. We joined PF and work out on a regular basis. I help him with that because he isn't too good at the gym.

I would not have made this journey any other way. I have needed him and he has needed me from day 1.

Hope this helps!

My DH and I have both had RNY, though he went in May of 2017, and I wasn't emotionally ready to start my own process until I saw HIM succeed. I went in Feb of 2018. There are a lot of pros! We can keep each other in check, I'm not tempted to make things like pasta "for the family" because he eats the same way I do and we don't have kids to cook for. Since our goals align, it makes planning a lot of things easier. The cons are that I'm struggling with comparing my own weight loss (slow) to his (he melted like an ice cube), and being almost a year apart--he is beginning maintenance when I'm still trying to lose, and while our ways of eating are still the same, he's been allowing himself more calories, and gotten lax about measuring and tracking and it's easy for me to follow suit.

all in all though, doing this together has been an incredible experience. I've gotten to watch him become more excited about athletic outdoor activities and grow in confidence in many aspects of his life, not just appearance, and we're more eager to try new experiences together.

Agree. My wife and I both had RNY. She was about two years ahead of me. I think it makes it so much easier. She and I know what we can eat and how much to eat and it isnt "awkward" if we go out to a restaurant . She knows when I push the plate away, why Im doing it. We are "cheap dates"..lol

I do typically exercise more than her but besides that, everything we do parallels. We are both so much more active now than we were before. Thats definitely on the "plus side".

Thank you for sharing!! I'm looking forward to being more active together!

I feel like I'm emotionally ready for the change, but I do worry about both of us being competitive with it. He tends to loose weight faster than I do. I think that's partially because I'm diabetic and have PCOS so double wammy there. I'm looking forward to no longer being diabetic and PCOS symptoms reducing and hopefully going away as well. My husband and I are both very competitive and tend to be more so with one another, which could be a good thing but possibly a bad thing as well. Do you have any advice for how you've dealt with the comparison?

I am/was also diabetic and have PCOS, so im sure those things--primarily the PCOS--contribute to slow loss. It can be very upsetting when hubby is pretty much doing nothing--doesn't track food or even measure, really--and still drops a few lbs, when I'm militant about planning my meals and still fight for every pound lost. It helps to keep in mind General physiology. My husband is 6"4, and started over 500 lbs, whereas I'm only 5"7 and started at 340. That alone is a huge difference. I also keep my big picture in mind--even though my progress is slow, I am still making steadily downward progress. My Fitbit and Fitbit scale (Aria) show me a really good visual of that and it keeps me motivated even when my losses aren't as big as I could hope.