I am so scared

Hi, so I have my date fir the gastric bypass surgery. However, now I get cold feet. Ai am so scared , not to be "normal" again, the pain, the regret. I felt so ashamed for my weight as I'm always the biggest girl surrounded by tiny friends and family, and now I feel guilt and ashamed of the surgery I am about to go under in less than 3 weeks. If you could turn the time back, would you do it? I am so afraid to make a mistake for the rest of my life, on the other hand I have been obessed for as long as I can remember with short windows of being obsesive about what I eat not to gain weight. I know I wright in frantic, but I hope there are some people to help me.

Its normal to be anxious! I think all of us were. However it's the BEST thing I've ever done for myself in my life. At 350 lbs, I had aching knees and living life was just tough. Feeing anxious about how far to walk, if I would fit in a booth, who I would be next to on a plane...the list goes on and on. I wouldn't have been able to lose almost 200 lbs without surgery, and statistics show that only 5% of people keep their weight off. RNY is an awesome tool and if you follow your plan, eat high protein and low carb, don't drink while eating or for 30 minutes after, you can expect to lose a lot of weight and feel healthy. It's time to start practicing some of the things you will want to do after surgery like stop drinking with meals and cut out the crappy carbs like bread and noodles and rice. If you are willing to do the work, you can be successful! The drudgery itself took about 1.5 hours and when I woke up I really had very little pain. I took it easy for the first week and sipped sipped sipped water and protein drinks. Life gets back to normal somewhat quickly, just with smaller portion sizes! Try not to let fear take over and think about how amazing your life will be when you're not carrying all the extra weight around!

Thank you soooo much for your reply. All of the things you have mentioned has happened to me. Flights, beach, friends, pool, declining social events, having the biggest anxiety about buying clothes, feeling tired, living that "skinny" life in my head, making excises "if only I was slimmer"etc. I see so many pros, but the fear if cons... I always thought of myself as such a foddie. And I have reaised lately that it has been more difficult to work, study... I feel guilty that I haven't lost the weight on my own, but deep down I know I couldn't because if I could have I would have by now.

I am kind of a foodie too in that I love good food :) I can still eat many of my favorites, just modified. I was literally just talking to someone else about this. I make tuna and add olives, diced red onion, roasted red peppers, feta cheese, artichokes and a bit of olive oil. I love Mexican food so I make Mexican turkey meatloaf in muffin pans (easy to freeze 4 oz portions) - they are ground turkey, egg, a tiny bit of bread crumbs, shredded Mexican cheese, a small can of green chilies. Tomorrow I am making spaghetti and meat sauce for the family and I will put it over yummy creamy ricotta cheese. I just found a new chicken thigh crockpot recipe that has salt, pepper, minced garlic, and 1/3 cup brown sugar (over 5 thighs). I'm currently eating crab for breakfast! Yep, jumbo lump crab that I broil in a large container with mayo and Old Bay and then eat it for leftovers. You can eat and enjoy delicious food after surgery. I just wouldn't recommend chowing down on white carbs/sugars. Gone are the loaves of bread, huge portions of noodles, an entire medium pizza. But my life is so much better that I can live without those things!

I think we all have moments of guilt, like why couldn't we get a handle on it ourselves and why did we do this to our bodies and why do we need surgical intervention! But the truth is, my life was going to be greatly reduced in both quality and time if I didn't get control of my weight.

I lost a ton of weight on my own! I was incredibly successful at losing - over, and over, and over. I literally lost track of how many times I was able to lose 60 pounds, 70 pounds, 100 lbs., even more, without ever considering surgery...each time bouncing back up in short order, until I peaked at a whopping 353 pounds. I too was nervous - terrified! - at the thought of having my insides permanently rearranged. Surely i could do this on my own without such measures!

But the reality is that I could not do it on my own, despite multiple and heartfelt attempts. The surgery has a profound effect unmatched by white knuckle, willpower-based calorie and carb control. Not only is your body's capacity for eating in quantity drastically reduced, forcing you to consume much smaller portions, but you are deeply changed hormonally, as well, with in most cases a radically reduced appetite. These things are experienced post-op to a degree that those who have no had surgery can never truly imagine.

Though weight loss post surgery is in most all cases swift and sure, some people can and do throw boomerangs into the works, slowing or even stopping their loss by deliberately eating in a way designed to counter their advantage (by drinking heavily caloric, carb-laden creations, for example). We have surgery on our stomachs, but not our brains! That's why the psychological portion of qualifying for surgery is so important, and why ongoing counselling is so beneficial.

As long as you dedicate yourself to following the rules, you will lose down to a point where you feel much better about your fitness, your vitality, your appearance, your place in the world. And as long as you remain mindful and diligent, and follow the well-laid-out rules (that really aren't hard), you will stay far slimmer than before your surgery.

It takes resolve, but it's very doable to successfully lose your excess weight. There are vets here who have maintained their loss for five, ten, fifteen years, and more.

I am still a newbie, not quite yet in maintenance at 17+ months after surgery. Maintenance is harder than the honeymoon phase of early weight loss, but it is doable, as the best here demonstrate every day!

As for myself, I am so very grateful on a daily basis that I had this done! I have gone from 353 pounds and a life of pain and exhaustion to 135, with no pain and much, much more energy and stamina. I'm not in maintenance yet, but it's right around the corner for me. I am not ****y, but I am determined that I will do what it takes to protect and maintain my loss, and the pleasure and freedom that has come with it.

It's worth it all, a thousand times over, and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Wishing you well!

Thank you so much for such thourough answer and support. I am very happy I found this forum, this really helps loads!

yes - I would do it again. In a heartbeat! In fact, if I had to go back and have it done every year, I would! I should have done it years ago. Best decision I have ever made!

anxiety before a big surgery is normal. Many people experience that. And as for pain, people are all across the board with this, but having hung out on these boards for the last four years or so, my impression is that most people have very little pain with these surgeries. The only thing I had was sore abs that made it a challenge to get in and out of bed the first three or four days. But other than that, no pain to speak of. I think I only took my pain meds for about a day or two after I got home from the hospital. I think you'll find lots of people on here who will say the same thing.

Thank you for your reply! Do you have any suggestions on how to survive the first week? Clothes to take to hospital etc? Any hacks? I just found this group, so I will read the topics too.

You want a loose shirt and comfy pants to wear home. Honest to god, I recommend bringing chapstick and your phone and charger, and whatever identification you need to check in at the hospital. That's it!

I'll second what DCGirl said. I didn't need much. I slept a lot of the time I was in the hospital. I think I brought a book and my laptop (my husband stayed with me in the room, so my laptop was safe), but I'm pretty sure I never used either one. I was pretty wiped the first day or two - I just wanted to sleep.