Body dismorphia

Thanks for the thoughts! When I had PS in May, the girls got "fixed" but not augmented. Honestly, after being quite busty all my life, I had hoped they'd end up smaller, but that's what I got!

ah yes - I see part of the issue. You are busty, and the sleeves on that dress stop right at your bust - which really draws your attention to them. I'm busty as well - I avoid sleeves that length because otherwise they seem even bigger. Elbow-length (or longer) sleeves are my preferred choice - but anything that doesn't stop right at the bust should work.

also, like others have said, camera angles can make a big difference. I, too, have read that people look better if photographed from above...even slightly above. And also like others have said, the way I'm standing can make a huge difference, too.

and again, you don't look fat - just muscular.

I'd like to add that dolman sleeves are, in my opinion, not flattering on women who are busty. I know they do me no favors.

I was one of those empty tube sock people - having fed two kiddos and then losing 120lbs there was very little of anything left!

I got my PS in Thailand and my doc asked if I wanted "American or normal" boobs. I choose little normal ones because I was in my forties and not looking for a Playboy look lol.

Mine are 36DD and look teeny compared to yours because I'm 6ft. Height makes a big difference in how we carry our weight. I'll NEVER wear a size 4, for example, which used to mess with my head a bit on this site.

You've worked hard to get the body you've got, and you had your PS very early, before you had a chance to just appreciate your loss. You will appreciate the result one day - it takes most of us 3 or 4 years for our brain to catch up.

We are rare creatures. Not many people have the experience of being as big and losing so rapidly. It can take a long time for the brain's eye to sort it out.

Fashion and camera angles help.

I see a woman out on a sunny day. She has the ability to walk and move through her world. Maybe someone who loves her took the picture.

Size 2 is not nirvana.

Thanks for the thoughts! In reality, I love being strong, not skin and bones. And I have to be honest with myself that at 5 feet tall and 51+, I'll never look like a 6 foot tall, 17 year old air brushed model!

Well said!

Hi Janet,

I'm sorry that you are struggling with this, as so many of us are. But you definitely aren't fat! As I recall, your BMI was so low as to make your doctor insist that you stop losing, or risk ill health. That simply doesn't happen to fat people. It's hard to figure out what shapes and lines of clothing are most flattering on us. Maybe a shopping trip with a friend who has an eye for fashion just to try on different cuts and styles would help. You don't have buy anything, but it can be helpful to discover how various types of clothes flatter, or don't flatter. And of course, you don't ever have to wear anything you aren't comfortable in. Don't be sad. You are slim and awesome!

Thanks Cara! My BMI is in the normal range (22-23) but because I am only 5' tall the proportion probably won't ever be as low as for a tall person.

It is my body fat percentage that is low (16-17%) and that my doctors have been concerned about. I've been working with my trainer for 2 months now and I can see more muscle in the mirror (check out my selfie above). I have my 6 month Dexa today so we'll see what the results say.

Hi Janet! First of all, congrats on your big loss and on being so physically fit!

Just a thought from a fellow dysmorphian. I'm almost 10 years out and last month got to my lowest post op weight. But when I see pictures of myself I see fat. Or I did anyway.

Then my husband mentioned something this summer that is helping me see my body more "normally". Because I've been obsessed with feeling like I've had the surgery and don't look any different and it's been literally harmful to me.

Could it be, as it is for me, that even with the weight loss your body is still shaped similarly to your pre-op body? I'm an oddity in some ways and I'd lived most of my adult life thin. I spent 10 or 12 years at 347 pounds plus or minus. And then I lost the weight but still looked the same (to myself). Turns out the culprit is that my 54 year old body is plenty thin enough for me, but it is shaped the same as it was when I was SMO. In other words, I still have the tummy and the sagging and all the rest, even though I'm much thinner. The truth is I'll never again NOT have those things, no matter how much I weigh or don't weigh.

That revelation was a game-changer. The last time I was average weighted I was at least 20 years younger than I am today. The flabby bits are here to stay now because I wont' be getting PS. So I will never see that non-flabby body again, even if I were to become UNDER-weight. (no worries that will ever happen - ha!). I look flabby - and I associate flabby with being SMO. In truth there a many thin flabby people and I'm learning to notice them so I can identify.

Food for thought maybe?

edited: grammar