Body dismorphia

Thanks Mike! When I work out and watch my muscles move through the rep, it is an awesome feeling, but then I look at a magazine with air brushed models or a 17-year old's butt and thighs and think...why can't I be that thin? Well, I'm 51 and I have muscle definition, not skin and bones. Living in one's head after WLS can be a B****!

I can relate to that! I see all these willow-y women in yoga classes, and I want to look like them! But I'll never look like them. I have a large frame and am very muscular. When I got into the 130s, I didn't look good. My body fat percentage was too low to boot. And I *still* wasn't as thin as they were.

my MIL is the same height as I am and weighs 113. Honestly, she could stand to put on about 20 lbs. But she would look fat at my weight. She's one of those bird-boned, willow-y people. I could never look like that. For one thing (according to my last DEXA scan), my muscle alone weighs more than she does (!).

I think you look fine. Maybe just play around with some different styles if you think you look fat. You're not fat. I do know I look a lot slimmer in some things than I do in others - the way they hang, the sleeve length, how tight they fit across the chest (yes, I'm fairly well-endowed - but that'll be changing soon!) - so many things can affect the total look.

Thanks! Yes, "willowy" won't ever describe me! For one thing I am just too short! That also means that my BMI won't ever be super low. It is my body fat percentage that has been really low (16-17%). I have another Dexa today so we'll see what it is after 2 months of weight lifting.

As for the BL, the PS removed the extra skin and said that I have no fat there any more, just breast tissue. I had hoped to end up smaller after surgery but I am still a 32C (down from a high of a 46F!****rtainly am not flat chested!

32C actually sounds perfect to me! I'd ideally love to be a B or a C. I've been busty my whole life and can't wait to look more "normal"! The plastic surgeon wondered if I wanted to have a fat transfer for a little more "fullness" - I said no way! But anyway, I think a C is fine. It may have just been the way the dress is cut. I think you look great!

I have the same issue. I always hated cameras and still do. I guess we're just conditioned to "hate" ourselves (or at least images of ourselves)

You look very fit... even athletic. The work with the trainer is definitely evident. I wouldn't mess with you!

Thanks alot for your kind words! In reality, the work I am putting in at the gym, the trail and the pool does show, but sometimes the head and the heart just don't feel it. My DW keeps telling me that I am getting a 6-pack but all I see is the saggy skin on my thighs. Oh well, the endorphins feel good and the sweat is good for my mental health!

Janet, I am so sorry for how you are feeling! You look wonderful and strong!

One thought, most of spent years trying to NOT be in the pictures and as a consequence, we don't really know how to pose in a flattering way, so it's really just the photo/angle that could be the issue. I look at how other people stand and pose and the try them and steal ideas that I can use.

Interesting thought...I have no idea which is my BEST side!

I know I hate to have my picture taken and have never really learned how to pose to the best advantage. I know women that always look great in pictures and selfies and I feel like I never do. There is only one picture of myself I liked and I really smiled in it. Wish they could all look like that.

Jen is so right, it took me years before I was able to really smile in a picture. Might I suggest you read up on how to take selfies and practise, practise, practise.

First hint: straight on is certainly not flattering on me, I always stand slightly to the side. You'll feel more relaxed and look less awkward.f

Second hint: take photos from above. I utilize my 6ft 5 boyfriend, he really does take the best photos of me!

Your body is banging, I wish I had that musclature! If necessary, engage someone to style you - it could be a friend who styles themselves well or maybe a personal shopper at a department store. Your boobs are huge, so you need careful styling to not look matronly.

I think if you find your style and dress to suit your body, you will appreciate how bloody great you really look!

Mirrors and photos are now your friend. Keep looking to burn your skinny self into your brain!