OBITUARY

It happened again--an obituary photo of a SSMO person that stirred my emotion. This time the obituary made reference to "..gained her cooking and baking skills," "...baking for bachelors," and "...making donuts." I cannot help wonder if this person pre-arranged the photo and word choices or did someone else choose. An obituary a while back prompted me to update my pre-arrangement at a local funeral home with assurance family, especially my DDs, cannot overrule a thing.

You speak ill of the dead. A person you don't know and you fat shamed her.

Unforgivable.

Pretty ballsy on a forum full of obese and formerly obese people

Wow.

Perhaps one of the saddest things is when someone who is or was morbidly obese, shares the same attitudes towards fat people as the rest of society.

You never met this person, yet you have made all your judgements about her based on a single photo, and the fact that she loved cooking. There are typical weighted people who love to cook as well -- so is it only because she was obese that you are so "stirred?"

You might be shocked to learn that she was very loved and missed by those who actually knew her; despite the fact that her appearance brings your pity.

I never considered that anyone would write their own obituary. I always thought it was an act of love by those who knew you best ... not something akin to a Tinder profile.

I guess you consider being obese a fundamental character flaw.

If the worst thing someone can say about someone is that they are/were fat, they've lived a pretty damn good life.

At least it's one that doesn't require an editing clause in their obituary.

We should create an app for the post apocalyptic world. "Cinder. Tinder for the Dead."

... and even there -- SWIPE LEFT... for sanctimony alone...

I remember the joy of writing my mother's. My sister and I just laughing and crying.I just hope whoever writes mine will see how precious it is to write these last words. I believe my mac and cheese to be of legend.

I have a 10 year posting history on OH. About 97% postive. I will call out blatant fat shaming. That will never belong in this space.

The intent of my post was to help people consider how they want their obituary rememberance to be if that happens to be of concern. It is for me and have completed pre-funeral planning wishes to include no photo submission and no service. If this woman was not the author, I certainly hope she would have approved of every, single word of emphasis. Never did I intend to imply shaming whatsoever and I apologize if it has come across as so.

Sometimes, on the internet, intent Can get lost/misconstrued. Good for your for coming back amd clarifying, it can be hard sometimes.

Living SSMO myself, I assumed more than I should have-- like assuming any SSMO person has a food addiction of some sort they would rather not to be memorialized for. I assume a drug addict would not care to have mention how generously s/he shared needles. I assume an alcoholic would not care to have emphasis put on the how well s/he could host blackout bashes. I assume a tobacco-addict would not like their loved ones stating how s/he will be remembered as an avid chain-smoker. In the end, my food addiction has left an unwanted mark I hope not to be remembered solely for.