Losing support

App 3 -4 months post op I reluctantly started taking antidepressants. Plus I started seeing a therapist regularly. They really helped. Body dismorphia is a real issues for some of us post op RNY.

It was important to me to have a few nice - good fitting outfits for every phase. They don't need to be expensive- I shopped in thrift stores, on days they also had sale of some items. I could buy nice items for $1-$4 a piece. I would shop once or 2 x a month, allowing myself to spent no more than $20-$25 per month on clothes.

Wearing things that fit and were flattering on my - made me feel better. I was eating less so I could justify the money for clothes.

I was single during and after my WLS so I dealt with all those changes by myself.

Also - you need to accept you husband words for what they are - he express his love for you. You need to stop putting that down. Be grateful that he loves you as much as he does and start telling him "than you" and giving him a hug when he tells you you are beautiful. To him you are... Don't damage that. There are a lot of people who would love to have that in their life.

Find a therapist. Good luck.

I really do need to find a therapist some days are better than others. I ate to cope with my childhood, now I don't have that it's a hard reality.

I think just recognizing that is a really great start to being being able to cope with that particular issue. And learning to "respect our own bodies" is probably more difficult than losing the actual weight.

In addition to therapy and a support group, keep yourself busy. Find a hobby. Volunteer. Try to focus on things other than yourself.

You need to find someone to talk to other than your husband. Seriously, our loved ones can only take so much. This is our obsession in the beginning (and it does get better), not theirs. They will get sick of it.

Yeah I try not to complain all that much to him. I have a hard time trusting others because not a lot of people know I got surgery and are not open about it.

Come here to OH. We never tire of talking about it 24/7.

The spouses don't really understand.

They really don't, especially since he has never struggled with weight loss a day in his life.

It really is your ride on the roller coaster. It's gonna be a wild ride and you are going to lose more weight this year than you ever have in your life. I suggest frequent OH'ing!

I am hoping that you're feeling better today. Be kind to yourself and try and remember that you body is going through a lot right now (recovering from major surgery, hormone changes, mental challenges and we are trying to learn new coping mechanisms to name a few). Hang in there!

I'm trying to believe me, I forgot about the hormonal parts and my moods are all over the place.