Long Time Partner Just Had Surgery - Looking for Guidance on How Best to Support

Try The World According to Eggface (google search). She has a blog and a ton of recipes for all stages of the process. Maybe he can try cooking some of the soft stage foods for the both of you, once he's off liquids?

Good for you, looking for support for your partner! It has been 18 months for me, but my partner was very supportive. It was pretty tough in the beginning what with the surgery, pain, not being able to eat my usual foods, and the anesthesia and pain meds did a number on me.

My wife just listened a LOT. She encouraged me always, she put out the little one ounce cups of water for me, one ounce cups of protein shake, she did not eat in front of me, she helped me remember why I had surgery when I got depressed. She reminded/encouraged me to walk, walk, walk. She encouraged me to log on to my support forum, OH (here).

Your partner is lucky to have you. Encourage him to find support somewhere where there are people just like him. This forum helped me So. Many. Times.

I wish there were some way that I could connect you to BF for the very support you are describing. He's resistant and is not one to ask for help. I've suggested forums to him, but he only replies "that's not for me". There are only so many ways or times you can suggest something and be rebuffed. I am incredibly supportive of him, but this is his journey and there's only so much power I have.

Very much appreciate your insight; thank you.

~ RR

These forums are generally swimming in oestrogen, but there is a Men's Forum where he may feel more comfortable:

Testosterone Zone

See if he'll consider hanging out with the guys. People who are connected and supported are much more successful, both in weight loss and maintenance.

The first week is pretty tough. Physically you're just miserable and mentally you're just filled with doubt that you made the right decision.

But many of use lose anywhere between 20-30 lbs that first month. That makes things a bit brighter.

The one one thing you can be conscious of is what you're eating in front of your partner.

Thank you so much for weighing in (seriously, no pun intended); it's so appreciated.

We went for a walk this morning and then to the grocery store (his idea) - I so wanted to fall back on my own bad behavior and buy something so "wrong" to eat because I wanted to feed my frustration, but I didn't. It's so interesting to me that with his surgery I'm confronting my own patterns, so in the end this can (I hope!) only be good for both of us.

He wore a winter coat this morning for our walk (we're in the Northeast), and when I asked him if it fit better he said that he hadn't even tried to close it b/c it hadn't been fitting. Guess what? It did. He's down ~30 since the liquid diet pre-surgery began, and I'm hopeful that as he sees results he'll feel that it was worth it.

I will keep your words of wisdom in mind; thank you again.

~ RR

The first couple of weeks are pretty rough. No only due to the physical changes, but there are some hormonal changes as well. There are also mental changes as so many of us used food as a crutch, and we can no longer enjoy food in the same way as before. I was moody too. I snapped out of it around week 3-4.