Body changes that are never spoken about -nsfw possibly-

1. Initially I'd say there was no significant change. My libido tanked around two years post-op, but that was when my dad died so I can't put that on WLS. Since then I've been dealing with grief, being super busy with college, and then reconstructive surgeries/recovery, so I figure my libido might return next year. I'm hopeful it will, at least! I've had some blood work done to make sure nothing is wrong, and I'll get some more blood work done in 2018.

2. For the first two years, I'd say I went from a medium libido to a medium libido. :) So no change.

3. I'm poly and have two partners. My excess skin turned off neither. It annoyed me in certain positions because my panniculus would slap and make noise, but not enough to distract me from enjoying sex.

4. Post-weight loss, no change. Post-lower body lift? HUGE change. Things are much more sensitive since they're more accessible instead of being protected by the padding of the mons.

5. I guess the biggest change that I wasn't expecting was that I went through a big period of disconnect with my body. Since I look in the mirror and can't always be sure that what I see is ME. So that's been a challenge.

My reconstructive surgeon tells me that breast feeding is possible after mastopexy. Not sure how implants would impact that, if at all. I wouldn't do the lower body lift prior to pregnancy if I had a choice because it normally involves muscle repair - muscles that pregnancy can cause to separate. So it seems like it would make sense to do all the "damage" to your body that you're going to do BEFORE investing in reconstructive surgery.

Gwen, thank you for your responses! I've been pretty afraid of a few things, libido/sex being one of them and the other is body dysmorphia.

Did you ever have an expectation in your mind of your physical-self of what you would look like or what you think you would look like when you lost weight?

And thank you for your tidbit about pregnancy and breastfeeding. I didn't realize that body lifts included muscle repair, too. Does that only happen for certain reconstructive surgery?

For what it's worth, I would still choose the weight loss - even though I don't believe the weight loss changed my libido. I also can't help but wonder - I know there's the perception that "fat girls are easy" because we'll do anything to get a guy to like us and maybe once we're no longer fat we don't feel that way anymore? I dunno. It's complicated.

I'm a completely non-visualizing type of person. I don't have "mental images." So I figured I'd just.. look like the person I always see in the mirror? Just smaller? Or that Gwen at 180 at age 39 would somehow look like Gwen at 180 at age 18 - which I can see in pictures of myself? But I look completely different now than I did the last time I weighed this. So I don't think I had expectations of what I would look like, but I suppose that I expected to still look like ME. If that makes sense. And then the borderline dysmorphia set in and it scared the **** out of me since I lost a dear friend to BDD not terribly long ago. I spend a lot of time staring at myself in the mirror during fitness classes and that helps to get the mind-body connection a bit stronger for me.

(Of course, with weight loss the change is gradual. With reconstruction it's BAM ALL AT ONCE, so that was another unexpected hurdle.)

Post-massive weight loss, lots of people opt for a lower body lift with is circumferential. This tends to include diastasis recti repair - something that can occur due to pregnancy and obesity, among other things, as well as a mons lift, lateral thigh lift, and liposuction. Specifics depend on the surgeon in question.

Reconstructive surgery is a bit complicated because there are lots of different methods and procedures and those of us who do go that route tend to get them in different combinations and, of course, with all different surgeons. Some who specialize in weight loss and some who don't. Regardless, though, it seems best to wait until after pregnancy :) Although it could be harder to find the time and money after pregnancy. Lots of things to consider!

I think it's great that you're thinking about these things now. I hope that they don't dissuade you from WLS if that's what you need to do to take control of your health and that they're just things you file away so that you're not surprised when/if they happen in your post-op life :)

Question 1/2: My libido dropped at first, because I was SO freakin' exhausted all the time. It got better by about the six month point, and generally it's been better. Sex life is generally better because there are more positions that are physically possible when I'm not lugging around so much weight!

Question 3: My husband says I'm beautiful no matter what, jiggle or no. No issues at all.

Question 4: Are you asking about penises? Speaking as a woman, I noticed no changes to my labial area or any other hardware.

Question 5: I struggled HARD with body dysmorphia, when the face/body in the mirror didn't match the one in my head. I tried to get into therapy but was unsuccessful, and it eventually resolved on its own after time.

Kids post-op: I got pregnant 13 months after having surgery, and have not had (nor do I plan to have) reconstructive surgery. My surgeon strongly dvises waiting until AFTER pregnancy/breastfeeding to have any plastics.

Q4: Personally, no. I am more interested in what type of changes other women have had to their vaginal areas and how they've dealt with (if at all).

What helped you with Q5? I am anxious that I will be dealing with that. I do come from a history of depression and a trigger for me has always been the expectations of physical appearance. I've had ongoing therapy but am afraid that this new change will bring about new triggers. How long did it take you to feel more acceptance for yourself and what were some of your techniques that you've used to help you get there?

Thank you for taking the time to answer all my questions as well; especially kids post-op. My husband and I have been talking about more kids post-op but I worry about the breastfeeding part. I have pretty large breasts already so am worried that after a ton of weight loss, it will be even more difficult to breastfeed since I am expecting a lot of sagging due to excess skin.

1/2. My libido has decreased but not gone away. I used to have a very high libido for what I think would be average for a woman and now I feel more average. Honestly, I attribute this to not feeling like I need to constantly reassure myself that I'm worthy and physically attractive. My self-confidence is now 1000x what it was.

On the same token, my husband and I went through some challenges because he didn't understand the drop when I was physically feeling so much better. Then we also went through some physical challenges where our bodies just didn't seem to want to be compatible ("Hm, there's a bone there that I've never noticed before and it hurts when it hits your bone.") That has passed and the sex is now less frequent than it was, but WAY better. We are still a 2-3+ times per week couple.

2. He was not turned off at all by my skin. I am sometimes bothered by the slapping of it, honestly. Never enough to stop what I'm doing though! I am planning to have PS to correct it.

3. I've had a lot of drop in that area, and it bothers me more than anything else. I struggle with pants being too short in the crotch. I've been able to stave that off some by picking well supporting, thicker, snug underwear but it's still a daily annoyance. The seams on pants/leggings/work out pants now rub and cause oversensitivity. This is something I think should be addressed by my LBL.

4. Someone else mentioned this - but it's strange to me that I'm a small person. Not just thin now, but I have a small frame. My plastic surgeon described me as "slight" and "athletically built". I've always said to people "Well I wouldn't want to weigh that little because I'm big framed". I guess I was wrong.

Something totally unrelated to sex - I love exercise. LOVE. Love. I can not say that enough. I did not expect that, at ALL. It's always been a chore that I would deal with for 6-8 weeks at a time "for my health", but I never liked it. I truly look forward to working out now.

Q1 & 2: My libido went from low to lower, which is a real bummer for my husband.

Q3: Husband says he doesn't mind the skin and he is always touching me and hoping for sex

Q4: I let my husband touch my stomach now. Before, I had areas of my body that were off limits.

Q5: I'm more surprised by what didn't change. I'm still me, just smaller. I think I had a lot of unexamined feelings along the lines of "if only I were thin, I would or wouldn't X" and for the most part these feelings weren't truth. I like my body a LOT more, but otherwise I still have all the same mental/emotional hangups that come from an abusive childhood.

Q6: I do dream about PS sometimes, but if it happens it will be after I have birthed and breastfed one or two more children. Breastfeeding is definitely possible after WLS, although often people have supply issues. If the reconstructive surgery involves complete excision of the areola, then breastfeeding is not possible. With implants, you never know what your supply will be like until the time comes to breastfeed but you are at higher risk of mastitis and breast abscesses if you are able to breastfeed with implants.