Surgery scheduled....was excited now I feel like I will fail. Help please!

Hello. I'm new to this group. My surgery is scheduled for this coming Monday. I have been very thoughtful towards this decision and was confident and even excited for it. My Dr and care team are excellent...so why am I feeling depressed and like I will fail at this surgery and the habits that I know I can adapt to? This ha**** me hard for the past couple of days. I'm also feeling very afraid for the surgery...Pretty uncharacteristic of me. I know this is a major life change, that is not what is bothering me. Anybody else go through this? I feel very alone....even though I have my family with me. Thank you for any advice!

I can relate as I had some of those thoughts as well. I wasn't afraid of the procedure itself as I had previous more involved surgeries. However, my biggest fears were that I wouldn't be able to lose all the weight or I wouldn't be able to maintain. So far I'm doing fine (with the help of many changes including relying on OH for support).

It says you're BMI is 37. That's relatively low.

In my opinion that should make your post surgical experience easier and your chances of success greater. I started out at 40 and I was at goal in 6 months. The easiest 90 pounds I could have ever imagined losing. Of course what I do in the future is up to me but there's a period right after surgery where you really can't do anything but lose weight. I guess I coulda drank straight gravy all day but that's obviously disgusting.

One of the things I focused on was that this whole process was about increasing my health and increasing my life span. I see weight loss as incidental.

Dont discount the use of support groups, counseling even psychiatric help.

I'm new to this group as well. I've still got 4 months of dieting to do, so I guess I can't understand the particular anxiety you're having but I can tell from just reading these posts from the vet's, that it sounds normal. I don't want to presume, but you'll probably be fine. And then when I get closer and have these same feelings, you can remind me! Best wishes!

Wishing you smooth sailing! I suspect you'll do very well!

I was at a BMI of 35 when I had my surgery. My support team at the bariatric center felt that I had already demonstrated many of the behaviors needed for long term success. As they said "if you were unable to regulate your diet, you would have been well beyond a 35 BMI by now". That's why most offices require weight loss prior to surgery, so they can help you learn the new behaviors BEFORE you have the surgery.

It's possible that as a (relative) lightweight, not requiring a "proof of concept" prior to surgery they kind of rob you of the chance to prove to yourself that you will be successful.

I didn't have any fear over the procedure, but like others have said, I'd had far more complicated medical procedures prior to this one and was pretty confident in my ability to get through just about anything. I WAS anxious that I would be the one person who had the surgery and then didn't lose any weight. Then I had the surgery, lost about 20 lbs and STALLED OUT! OMG I wasn't going to lose any more! OMG it didn't work on me! yeah - it was the very notorious 3 WEEK STALL that almost all patients experience as your body adapts to the surgery.

Take a deep breath, then create a positive mantra you can use over the next few weeks that will remind you how strong you are, and how you will WIN at this! Mine is simply "I've got this" or "I'm winning at this!" The second one is used when I am feeling down, or getting lots of negative feedback - I use it while looking at my weight loss log - that lovely long sloping line of continuous loss (even though this last month was dismal - it was still on a slope).

Quick side story - This past weekend my fitness professional cousin came into my parents house while I was sitting at the kitchen table shoveling a bite of pumpkin pie WITH whipped cream, into my pie hole. I looked up and must have had that "Oh EFFF you CAUGHT me" look on my face. I hadn't seen this guy since last year at Thanksgiving. Nate cut me off with "Don't you DARE look guilty! You look amazing and it's clear you are doing a great job at this, it's the whole week that matters not this piece of pie." He was right. I do make some very bad choices - but far more often I'm making great choices and doing great things!

You will make good choices, you will become the healthy adult you've always wanted to be and you will win at this!

Hi aholly

I had my surgery on the 23rd and cannot believe that it took me so long to take the plunge. Early days but so far the only difficulty I have is I want something crunchy! lol I think it is normal to feel the way you are feeling and trust me from my extremely brief experience, you are not going to fail. Good luck with the surgery and keep posting. PS walk as soon as you can after surgery it will get rid of the dreaded gas gut!

I hope that you can find some peace before Monday. Maybe you can find a hobby to enjoy in any down time you have between now and then....to just keep your mind busy. Best of luck to you.

I think that's a normal human thing- but think back to your first appointment... or when you were getting surgery approval and how much you wanted this... you know you can do it! And we're here to cheer you on. ?