Where do I fit in?????

I'm so glad to hear you say this, Kat, as I won't be able to afford surgery. I'm hoping when I'm done losing that it won't be too bad, or that it will redistribute eventually. I am OK with how I look now, loose skin wise, but I still have about 40 more Lbs to lose.

Thank you so much for your reply. I appreciate your time and sharing part of your story.

Thanks again

I could not imagine being the weight I am today. I have not weighed this since elementary school. How could I possibly imagine it?

I think when you have been morbidly obese for a long time it takes the brain awhile to catch up. You are not clinically underweight and as Ashley said room for the body readjusting after the initial loss isn't a bad thing. I also agree nuts are a healthy higher calorie low volume food you can add.

I never thought about Plastic Surgery but when the reality of my first year passed, I too was thinking about it. I found out I had a hernia and that was what really pushed me to get consults. I wasn't going to waste a surgery on just a hernia. No regrets there, having PS really helped.

It is a new world, and it does take time for the brain to catch up.

Good Luck

I think like most of us. But this I know it totally true for me. I was always awkward. I was the kid making funny jokes about the way I looked even way back to when I was like four.

It takes a lot of balls to post what you have. Feeling like you are alone in a room full of people is one of the hardest things.

Being alone and lonely are two different things. I am learning that being alone is not a bad thing. Feeling lonely sucks big time.

I just turned 50 this year I will say I was very nervous about it. I am not at my weight loss goal that I would like to be. But in my head I am not in a ****ty place either.

I also have to look at the things that have changed for the better. I stopped drinking booze. I am not going to post anymore about this in my post.

Learning to love ourselves with flaws and all is not an easy thing. I would look at myself in the beginning and think holy **** look at my neck and the rest of me. With clothes on I did think I looked amazing.

The vanity for me was hard. My weight has shifted and it is not always in the right spot I would like it to be.

I also started to search for who I really am. I know I am a mother, wife but also I am a woman who wants to be happy with herself regardless of what others think.

I auditioned for a play and got the roll I tried out for. I have never sang in front of people or acted. Well I would act on a regular day on what I needed to get through.

I feel amazing. Trust me not all days I do. Working on how we feel inside and out and learning to love ourselves is not easy but doable.

Working with a therapist has helped me big time. I am learning a lot of anxiety I have is brought on by me trying to control everyone. I always make sure everyone has everything they need for the day. Then I am running around like a loon trying to get out of the house. And of course i forget almost one or two things. Were everyone else is ready for the day.

Treat yourself with love. Find a new therapist. Jump into something you have always wanted to do that your obesity stopped you.

I wish you the best. I know I am a rambler. But learning to love and not loath ourselves is a big thing to work on.

Thank you for taking the time to respond and share some of your story.

I appreciate the kind words and words of encouragement.

Thanks again

Good Morning! I am sorry you are feeling this way and I hope the other's comments have helped you feel better already. This journey we are on has it's ups and downs and they definitely didn't do surgery on our brains- although it would be awesome if they did right?!?! Like others have mentioned when I started this process, I never would have considered PS and in April I was able to have the excess skin in the lower stomach/below removed. It not only has helped with some skin issues I was having but also has helped with exercise (running) and my self esteem as well. You ask about seeing a counselor, I would say if you have the option to see one give it a try and see how it goes. Any local in person support groups in your area? Best of luck as you navigate your journey.

I have been a part of this community for over 10 years now. What you are feeling is very typical. I can count on one hand the number of people who have actually wasted away to nothing, but most of them had other health issues that also contributed to their excessive loss. By year 3 most people even out and then most struggle to maintain. I would say of the people I know in real life who had surgery the same time as me, probably only about 10% have maintained at a normal BMI. The overwhelming majority have gained and some of them have gained a significant amount back.

Don't ever think you are "cured" and go back to your bad habits because you consider yourself underweight now. I guarantee they will catch up with you if you do.

The mental part is the hardest. It took me until about year 4 to get to a good place mentally.

Hello Daniel.

I have only started this particular journey (RNY Aug 9, 2017), but I have struggled with being overweight my entire life. Bullied, harassed, shamed, etc, continually. I hated myself for over 30 years. I hated my body, I hated what I was told, I hated what I had started believing because of being told that all the time.

I don't know if I will be able to afford plastics, or even if I will want it- time will tell, but I know it isn't covered by my insurance.

I guess the main reason I am replying to you is to let you know that you aren't alone in these feelings, and that others can totally relate. Sometimes just realizing you aren't alone is a form of healing. Also filling your life with people that don't judge you based on your body, which can be difficult, but WE ARE OUT THERE! I assure you. It took me a long time to find my "tribe" of loving, caring, supportive people. My tribe isn't exactly mainstream, but that's okay, because neither am I. :-) Anyway, I don't know if it will hel*****t, but if you get a chance check out a TED Talk I did in 2015. While my path isn't for everyone, I do think people that struggle with esteem can relate and maybe be inspired. You can just search on YouTube for Michelle Wallen. It's a short 10-11 minutes, so if you hate it you wont waste too much of your time!

I do wish you all the best. I know from years of suffering how painful body image can be. Know there are people out there that just don't care about such things, and are just there to be loving, supportive, kind and caring. Much love to you.

Your weight loss is 100% under your control. If you reach 199 and you don't want to lose any more, then you can increase your calories until you stop losing. You will not melt away uncontrollably.

There are a LOT of people here who work with a therapist to address their body-image issues. Post-WLS dysmorphia is a very real thing! I would suggest looking for a counselor and trying a few sessions to see if you would benefit from it.