Blocking does have benefits, by blocking I shrunk the number of posts I had to read from five pages to three pages. LOL

I'm going to be bluntly honest with you and if you feel the need to block me, well no skin off my back. I have read through many of your posts and quite frankly from what I have read you were not a good candidate for WLS.

Before you even had surgery you were concerned about not being able to drink and posted this:

"I asked a version of this question in the WLS vets forum, but then thought this might be the best place to go as I think my question is RNY specific...

I love big, bold, dry, red wines. I know I have to give them up... but my question to those of you who also

Can I "hope" for a time, five or ten years out, where I will be able to have a small (3oz.) glass of red wine with my little lamb chop? Or do I need to think of a small glass of red wine as just as out of bounds as Haagen Daz?

If red wine is no longer an option, have any of you found an non-alcoholic red wine that is palatable?

Thanks!"

After receiving several comments stating how it is not safe to drink after WLS you then posted this:

"I appreciate all of this. Like I said, my surgeon has said "No wine" he explained the liver issues. Most of that seems like it should "resolve" after a few years, thus my thin ray of possibly imagined light was that five or ten years down the road, it might be something that would be tolerated in very rare and precious moments.

I have already decided that the WLS is more important to me than my love for wine. It wasn't too tough of a choice but only because I feel like I've run out of options with my weight. I feel like I'm not choosing WLS over wine, I'm choosing my total health and longevity over wine. Hands down I will be healthy and drinking water over being like this and drinking wine.

I have recently taken a few trips to places where wine is never served with a meal, like while staying in a Muslim home in Egypt. I managed to enjoy amazing dishes including red meat (is camel a real meat?) and drink nothing but a hot mint tea.

I would assume that alcohol free wine is still going to have some sugar in it, assuming even a dry red would have some fructose in it, but it might be OK for a mental fix (holding the globe of a red wine glass, swirling the beautiful wine...)

At least at my age people won't assume I'm pregnant when I suddenly turn down a glass of wine :)"

You are what a bit over 4 months out and have been drinking at least a few times a week a 3.5oz pour of wine for a month or two.

You have complained about not losing weight quickly or at all and when folks on here asked what you were eating and you told them at less than a month out you were consuming 700 calories a day per your nutritionist as she wanted you above 500 cals. Again folks voiced their concern and you seemed to understand what they were saying. But alas after reading through numerous daily menu threads it appears that you have not listened to anyone.

Daisy is a wonderful person who wants everyone to succeed and reach their goal, but when day after day a person sees another who doesn't want to adhere to the rules and then insists what they are doing is OK now per their surgeon it starts to wear on a person.

Right now is the honeymoon period for weight loss and you could drink a gallon of wine and probably still lose weight, but the day will come when you are scratching your head because you can't figure out why the weight loss has stopped and the gaining has begun. Wine, carbs, sugars, etc. will eventually stop the weight loss and start the regain.

Thanks for your input. Of course I wouldn't block you, I haven't blocked anyone on here although I'm totally supportive of others' blocking whomever they need to block.

I'm pretty sure I never said a word against either Daisy (probably one of the kindest people on these boards) or against her blocking me. I was hurt and confused, and I'm still hurt and miss the menu thread but it's clear I was causing far more angst to many of you than I'd thought.

My GOD I caved to the wine pretty fast, didn't I? I remember writing that, I remember believing that the ban on wine was an absolute. Alcohol free wine isn't worth the calories or the dollars.

I keep seeing that I'm complaining about not losing weight fast enough... I don't FEEL like I'm doing that as much once I realized my measurements are moving along at a nice clip and that my muscle mass is growing. 7lbs/mo is slow for a person who isn't exercising and is above 35 BMI but it seems to be normal for someone in the mid 20s BMI who is actively working out. My surgical team is thrilled (they have me down over 50lbs) so while I'd HOPED I'd be down to 150 by the end of the summer, it seems like it will be closer to 155.

If the agreement to give up wine is a base requirement for a candidate, just like giving up tobacco is, you're right, I wasn't a great candidate. I think my surgeon would disagree. When I see him next I'll ask him for his thoughts on this- our next meeting is in late Sept which is when I will likely be at HIS goal weight of 150. My goal is 115 which is alignment with review I had on Monday after a "Lookin'Body" scan (poor man's DEXA).

My greatest take away from this whole affair is that others read my posts as defiant and petulant. My anecdotes about my daily failings are read as boastful or defensive. My unwise choices are read as explicit condemnation of the advice provided, coming from an attitude of arrogance and exceptionalism "Your warnings don't apply to me!".

Humans are irrational. We make emotional choices. I know that about myself and I try try try to stay honest and open about my weaknesses. I'm not bragging about them, I'm laying them out for all to see.

"It ain't a real 'surprise-left' if it ain't a SURPRISE!" ~ Marvelous Marvin Hagler

HI...Can I throw my two cents in?

First- my surgeon told me that I can enjoy an occasional glass of wine. Have some occasionally and enjoy it.

You know what? I DID that. I learned, I still like wine, wine still likes me, and I get tanked around 1.5 glasses. Oh, I also learned I am a mean drunk... and angered a few friends and embarrassed myself in front of 3 colleagues.

So I learned to stop at ONE.

But then- I had to have hand surgery and couldn't exercise and I have gained 12 lbs.

I would like my occasional glass of wine, but it is something that I recognize I have to give up while trying to lose this damn regain. Alcohol is empty calories.

I came to the conclusion that I must treat alcohol just like everything else I stick in my mouth. Before I eat something, I ask myself "What is this getting me?" Meat-is protein and rebuilds my body. Vegetables give me satisfaction, vitamins and minerals and fiber so I can poop. That caffeinated coffee that I am loath to give up-gives me caffeine so I can wake up and be alert before noon. And my full fat cottage cheese, gives me calcium and some fat so I can poop. Right now, I am on a salt kick (it makes things taste so good) but I am not running in hot weather, so maybe I should be cutting back on the salt instead of *****ing to myself abou****er retention.

You wrote somewhere that alcohol was important to you (or something along that lines). Which means you getting something out of it. Hanging with your friends? Feeling less ackward in social situations, or maybe a job or job advancement (Hey! You might write for the wine spectator, be a wine buyer or lawyers often socialize in the evenings at bars/pubs. It is how the associates meet the partners)? Again, I am not judging. Please just stop and think WHAT you are getting/about to get before you take that drink and make sure it is REALLY WORTH the extra calories, the increased exercise, and the ?perhaps? slowed weight loss.

No one is perfect...some of us still eat chocolate (Not me! I want coffee!)...some occasionally imbibe. Some of us eat lots and lots of cheese and bacon. Just KNOW what you are getting.

I understand your perspective, but disagree on a couple of points. The first is that, during weight loss phase, there should be no drifting. No chocolate, no alcohol, no empty carbs of any kind. Not reaching goal is an invitation to our brains to slide back downhill, and the slide just gathers speed the further from goal you are.

After maintenance, I generally agree that we can pick our battles. A little chocolate, as long as we balance the calories. If chocolate isn't your thing, then some blue cheese dressing, or an orange. It's all about balance calories, as long as we can avoid carb cravings.

But alcohol is also a drug. It's effect has ramifications well beyond the calories. There's no way to balance out that effect, as you found out in a couple of minor incidents.

I've seen too many people wreck their lives from alcohol post WLS. If any of us were good at sticking to one of something, we wouldn't be here.

I agree. I dont recollect drifting in WLS phase. I was motivated to get into that damn wedding dress and was lazer like focused. The talk about the wine happened AFTER I hit goal and went beneath it!

Thank you for pointing that out GRIM. It gave me the chance to clarify.