how do i answer?

Soooooo, I'm on my 2 week pre-op diet....my hubby asked if I have the will power for this and will be eating similarly for a long time why bother with surgery? I didn't quite know how to answer. I mentioned smaller stomach size so won't be as hungry but that only lasts a while, right? What is going to help in the future? I didn't eat crazy amounts or a bunch of the wrong stuff when I was a teenager but I still gained. Heck, I don't really eat that much now for a girl my size. Certainly, less than my own teenager. I guess I'm worried I won't be able to keep it off long term....

That was me, I never ate crazy amounts, but i snacked. Little here, little there.. on the chance I would eat a full meal, it was after all my snacks. And while none of that all together equaled a lot, the calories added up. (figured this out after writing down everything I ate using an app) As a teenager I never over ate, my mother cooked all our meals. And the only thing I didn't get home cooked was school lunches. I was still over weight, and it was miserable. One thing to answer back with is, by having this surgery, it changes the chemicals in your gut. Where before perhaps your metabolism was slow or almost non existent, now with this surgery it will help change your metabolism.

Yes, smaller stomach will help but tell him this is not a end all is all. It's a tool for you to use to help with your journey. Where for awhile you will be eating a little different, this is a tool mostly for you to use to help getting into new eating habits that will be healthier in the long run for you.

Better yet, don't try to explain it at all. This whole journey is for you, yes we want support. But the main part of our support comes from ourselves. You got this!! :) just keep saying that through this 2 week pre-op diet.. because it's tough. lol I keep seeing what my husband eats and I get so jealous :) But honestly.. you can do this.

I think this is a common concern, and is understandable. Take what I say with a grain of salt, as I'm new at this too.

To me, as you have heard, and will continue to hear, the surgery is a tool. It will take time to figure out exactly what that means for you.

I can only speak from my newbie experience, but what it has meant so far, is that I have been given the opportunity to take a step back from my disordered eating. We can't go cold turkey, or remove ourselves from food completely.

The pre-op and post op phases give you time to work on new behaviors, change patterns. The surgery doesn't cause you to magically lose the weight (although it can feel that way). It gave me the chance to put the work in to make the changes.

you cannot rely strictly on will power to lose the weight I have, in the past 11 months. There is no way I could have been satisfied on 700-800 calories a day. I would have eaten someone's arm by now. To believe otherwise is to hold onto old biases against the obese. It isn't a moral failing. And it's a judgment never imposed on people with other types of chronic illnesses/conditions.

My advice is use all the resources you have access to at your clinic. Read everything you can find on this forum. Google behaviour change. Treat this like your job. Invest all the time and energy you can.

Take comfort in knowing science is on your side. Surgery is not fool proof, but has the highest success rate of any other weight loss intervention.

Also, I know you say you didn't eat a lot, for your weight. But other than the rarest of cases, it's simply not possible to be obese, and under eating. A big part of this journey is being honest with yourself, and taking a long look at how we got here. the only way to change the patterns is to identify them.

its the only way, in my opinion to make lasting, sustainable, changes.

good luck, and keep posting!

Excellent answer! I couldn't agree more.

OMG I couldn't have said it any better!

I guess you're right. I misspoke. I should have said that I don't eat a lot compared to most girls my size BUT I realize that unlike them I have a lifestyle that is very sedentary. My job was sedentary...my hobbies are sedentary. I'm not built athletically. My body wasn't built to be a runner for example. Even as a skinny kid I couldn't run. My legs didn't work like that. I cant even sit crosslegged. When I turned 12 all of a sudden I had another reason not to be able to run. 34DD breasts! lol. I'd very nearly knock myself out when I tried! LOL I walk slowly not fast like some people naturally do. But in school I was able to keep off most of the weight because I was forced to be active. I had to walk 2 miles to and then from school every day, for instance. The MINUTE I graduated I immediately gained 50 pounds(3 months). Now it's my back that is the issue. I have my mothers back problems. Unlike her I WILL have it checked out and repaired after I lose the weight. But standing for any amount of time hurts and walking although less painful than standing still is difficult after a short time. So my activity level is really what is killing me. I'll have to think of something. we have a pool that'll help except a few months out of the year. its not heated. Walking the dogs in the neighborhood...Boring...really I'd rather read a book.

The fat version of ourselves burns a lot of calories and I think many of us incorrectly rationalized that we ate "the right way" because we maintained at a certain weight. For instance at my heaviest and depending on my level of activity I could consume up to 3,000 cals a day and not gain weight. If I did that now I could gain up to a pound per week as my smaller body needs about 500 calories less per day. I'm not saying this necessarily applies to your situation but it sort of exemplifies how overweight people overeat without really knowing it.

Bariatric surgery, provided you follow the instructions, is like hitting the reset button on your metabolism. If you're not familiar with the research done on the contestants of "The Biggest Loser" look it up on google. It was a real eye opener for myself.

I think your answer should be. That you are willing to make this work. I feel words like willpower are words that make us feel weak.

This is just my thought on that word.

Also as you go down the road you will remember things like what you actually ate. I lied to myself for so long that I only ate one meal a day. It was just one meal. But it was a 4000 calorie one.

Oh I remember those meals.

I completely agree!! So many of us lie to ourselves about how much we are really eating. Being successful post-op requires honesty or we will never lose the weight and keep it off.