The musings of an Eighth Grader... or whatever you want to call me.

I get the mind **** when I know that I should be 145-150 and really even 150-155 would be probably better. Yet I panic when I get to close to 150.

It is a hard work not to lose past 145. And 145 makes my BMI normal, but m the body fat % really is too low for me below the 145.

I chose to maintain at 145-150 because I want to be healthy and ok. Below 145 my body has no reserves, so if I get sick, or just don't have time to eat, or something happens, I can get really sick. Post op WLS- most of us don't make enough acid, some are on PPI ( I am)- so any food born infection - something that a normal person acid will deal with imidiately, I may get sick. I can drop 5 lbs just due to 24 hour virus - food poison. It happened. When my body reserves guest too low- I am more prone to hypoglycemia and my RH is way worse. Plus - getting too skinny messes up my hormonal balance. My body gets into a survivor mode. Not cool. With low body fat% - when the fat we have left is the essential body fat- our body will start consuming our own muscles tissue to survive.

I know I want to keep my muscles. Plus - sometimes - being too skinny is really not very attractive on an older person.

It is great to have a resource like this...and particularly excellent to see the really honest struggles that everyone faces post-surgery. I am 17 hours and 19 minutes away from my RNY, only moderately terrified and my head is spinning wondering if I will be successful and I was struck with how I had been wondering about all of this.

I have always loved food. One thing that drove me crazy about the pre-op was how sick of sweet everything was--but I'm being given a huge opportunity here and I'm not going to blow it. I have made it through the pre-op 100 percent compliant--and I have never been 100 percent compliant at anything. Ever.

My surgeon was torn on whether I should do RNY or sleeve. I chose RNY because of greater long term success despite its few potential downsides. He explained the risk of dumping syndrome: to be honest, the idea that if I ate too much fat or sugar I'd have consequences appealed to me.

Anyway, I like the thinking and the discipline Pammieanne extols. But I really like the fact that everyone shares so honestly. I'm going in much more confident than I might otherwise.

Confident, but still moderately terrified... 17 hours and 7 minutes...

Moderately terrified is just about the place most of us are at 17 hours out!

Welcome to the club, and soon, to the loser's bench.

My best piece of advice to you is to get involved with this group, and stay involved. Sometimes it's rough going, and sometimes someone will **** you off here (usually because what they are saying resonates and makes us defensive Ha!), but I promise you, having the support from here is priceless

Nothing like having so many folks, both successful, and some still not quite so, here to remind you and support you.

Good luck tomorrow!

Good luck. You'll be really, really glad you did this.

Glad you posted and good luck! Come visit us on the daily menu post after surgery!

I truly love posts like this, knowing that there are other people out there who mirror my same "self thoughts" and truly understand the fight I have been going through. I don't feel so alone. I also realize that while I attune to everyone else, I'm also very different at the same time. Every person has a different story, but we all fear the same things sometimes. It is why I read all that I can, because in reading everyone's thoughts and opinions, I can associate myself to others.

Now if I could just find a way to quiet my inner voice, I know my mind would feel much more at peace.

Thanks for sharing your experience. It is good to hear what maintenance is like

Maintenance?! MAINTENANCE?! Wait... I'm not ready for that!

That's how MY maintenance thoughts feel... hahaha

Great post Pam. This is hard, and takes constant vigilance. But it is definitely worth it.

I think of maintenance being like cruise control in a car. We want it to be like driving through the interstate in Montana at 4 am. Set your speed and forget about it.

But really, it's like using cruise control going from Boston to Washington DC. Set your speed, then have to hit the brakes a little five minutes later. Switch lanes to get around that semi. Speed up to go around grampa clogging up the middle lane.

It's constant adjustment. Lives change. Eating changes. Our bodies change as we get older. If we keep a close eye on it, changing lanes, speeding up and slowing down when we need to, we'll be fine. Set our speed, close our eyes and ignore what's going on, wind up dead in a ditch with an 80 pound regain.

It's not easy. But it doesn't need to be horrifically hard. It's just work.

And Pam, I think you'll do just fine.

I love the analogy.