What's on your Menu today (Tuesday) RNYers?

Good morning OH~ It is misty and foggy out this morning which is so calming for me. It will be clear and in the 70's later today. Rob still hasn't heard about the job. He assumed he would hear yesterday, but he told me they would get back to him 'early next week'. To me, that could me Mon, Tues or even Wed morning... It's killing us!

Accountability - I wasn't hungry, letting my stomach settle down after all the hoopla... However, I was worried about my protein intake so I impulsively bought a Quest protein bar at 7-11 at lunch. It was nasty - the aftertaste was horrible. Even so, I ate half for lunch and half for dinner.

QOTD - I always refer to my 'forum friends' to my people in the know about my WLS. Rob is very private and doesn't get it. He thinks it's weird that we share so much personal information about our journey and our lives as he believes we are virtual strangers. My sister always says it sounds so cool and that she will check it out but I don't think she ever has.

8mo post op - 187 and holding

b-SB venti triple shot latte w/splenda

l-not sure...

d-probably eggs

v/l - on track

e-not today

Have a great day all!

Good morning!

accountability: I have been awful lately but I'm ready to get back on track. It's so stinkin' hard - it really is an addiction for me and relapses are an issue :(

QOTD: I pretty much keep to myself so this is a tough one for me to answer. Would love to connect with more people but I've become a little self conscious because I feel insecure and needy since this is such a hard change in life for me to make. I know we all need support but I've become really introverted these last several weeks especially since people in my extended life have been consciously or unconsciously sabotaging me and saying things like "you can have a donut once in awhile! Never eating or allowing yourself treats is simply unrealistic." Or "you're getting too carried away with getting to 'goal' and you should just be happy the way you are. You don't need to lose anymore weight!" - even though I'm still considered obese, my other favorite is when people always try to make unsolicited comments about the amount/portions I eat as if they think I'm starving myself and they just can stop themselves from trying to treat me like I'm suddenly on the opposite end of the spectrum etc... Anyway, coming full circle I'm pretty much the quite girl in the corner now hahaha!

b: vanilla pp shake blended with fresh mango.. I know, I know, sugary fruit :-/

L: small cup of soup (meeting my mom-in-law today for lunch so I will make the best choice I can. Having braces keeps me away from the healthiest side salad option lol

s: maybe some Parmesan chips or Greek yogurt

d: chicken and salad - I don't care what gets stuck in my braces when I'm not in public

s: WATER and more water! Time to get back on track!

v: patches - I think I need to start taking a probiotic and fiber supplement too. Suggestions are always welcome!

e: cleaning this messsssy house and walking (hopefully jogging) with Zach and the pups.

have a wonderful day, everyone! It is never too late to get back on track :)

Hi Mandi,

You're in the right place for support. We all have food addictions, and whether or not people admit it, everyone has their relapses or moments from time to time. I just want to gently say, based on your other post of really struggling and grazing and being 50 lbs away from goal, you have the power to make some changes to your menu. Have the vanilla protein shake, and add some powdered peanut butter PB2 to make it more interesting, or a sugar-free Torani syrup, or even sugar-free pudding mix. There are tons of great ideas on Shelly's blog: http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2007/06/my-fa vorite-protein-shake-recipes.html

And if you find yourself grazing and eating the wrong kinds of things, well, having soup for lunch won't help keep you full. You need dense protein. A turkey burger without a bun. Chicken breast. A steak. A turkey and cheese rollup. Tell your mother-in-law that the restaurant choice doesn't have good options for you and recommend a different place that has things you can eat. You can get a sandwich with no bread, for example.

Pound the water, like you planned. I use a 32 oz bottle and make sure I drink 3 per day. I don't get enough fluids if I use a normal kitchen drinking glass, so I just keep my Camelback by me all day.

Regarding the folks who comment, well, screw 'em honestly. Luckily I never faced people telling me to just have a donut or to stop losing. Losing down to a healthy BMI will help you in a zillion ways. The amount of energy you will have! The lack of joint/knee pain from not heaving around so much weight. A heart that will last longer not having to pump so hard. The benefits of not being obese are so incredible that I beg you, don't let non-supportive people derail you. Sure, it's not realistic for most people to never have a treat again. But a bigger treat than a donut is getting on a plane, easily buckling the seatbelt, and zooming off to a wonderful and active holiday. Take it from someone who has walked in your shoes.

As someone who is 5'4" and went from 351 day of surgery to my goal of 160, lemme tell you that the honeymoon phase (first 12-18 months) are the EASY time, and maintenance freaking sucks. I'm serious, if you have 50 lbs to go, you've got to buckle down and make it there. Yes, there are some folks on here who took 2, 3, 4 years to get to goal, but they are the exception, not the rule. You should try to set up habits in the first 12-18 months to set you up for success. Because once you reach goal, and your weight is your new "normal" and the compliments stop and you absorb all of your calories and your mature pouch can hold more, it's going to rely completely on YOU to keep the weight off. Trust me, it's a ***** I can eat like a "normal" person now, whereas I used to get stuffed on half of a chicken sausage. I struggle with willpower every. single. day.

What Dcgirl said! Great response/post!

What Dcgirl said! Great response/post!

Seriously, you guys are so inspiring and supportive. I wish I could have this kind of support constantly around me throughout each day! I've already started making my list of to-do's to get me back to what I should be doing.

step one - put myself first for a change

step two - all the garbage food in this house is getting thrown right out tonight.

step three - meal prepping!

step four - I'm sure you get the idea at this point haha

Thanks again for all of the encouragement and support!

"You're getting too carried away with getting to 'goal' and you should be happy the way you are."

I find that to be really irritating that someone would say that to you. After all, you did have MAJOR SURGERY and ALTER YOUR GUTS--why shouldn't getting to goal be the focus? Why would you do that to yourself just to settle for "good enough" if you have a goal you want to reach?

I read that you've been struggling, here and in a different thread. I'm not sure how much weight my words will have, since I've not yet had surgery, so I don't yet fully realize "the struggle." I also don't know what kind of hurdles you might have had to jump to even get approved for surgery.

But if not to meet your personal weight goal, improve your health and life, what was the point of having this surgery? You're still in the honeymoon stage of this surgery. DO NOT WASTE IT. You can still get on track!

I could not agree more! I find it very frustrating and hurtful on so many levels. The biggest struggle that I'm dealing with is when friends (and even family) make underhanded comments about my choice to have the surgery and try to better my life. I have (had possibly) a VERY CLOSE lifelong friend who has never once said anything to me in any positive or supportive way about being proud of me for trying to take control and better myself. I think in a lot of ways certain friends where always glad that I was the "fat friend" and now that I'm not there's this underlying layer of jealousy that truly hurts my heart. I mean it physically affects me and then my brain goes into overdrive and my subconscious I think tries to tell me in some weird way that maybe I shouldn't be as successful because then I worry about how these people in my life will feel about themselves and compare my journey to theirs in a negative way. It's a struggle I've had all my life. Not sure if you're familiar with Myers-Briggs tests but I am an INFJ personality type so it makes sense that I always put everyone before myself and when I try to take care of my needs I feel a sense of overwhelming guilt and shame for being "selfish" on top of absorbing other people's emotions so it can be very heavy for me to deal with a lot of the time. Feeling the opposite of supported by the ones I thought would care most is so heartbreaking for me.. Hence the emotional eating I've been dealing with haha. Being on OH forums is so important to me because you all are the only ones who truly get it. It makes a world of difference to be supported and accepted without judgement. You all are so important to me

I think I'm a lot of these situations, the problem the nay-Sayers have isn't necessarily with YOU but with how your success makes them feel about themselves. They see you taking active steps to better yourself, and they want to take those steps too, but for whatever reasons do not. I'm the first in my family to go to and graduate from a 4 year college, and experienced much the same reactions. Family would mock me about being "too smart" for them and "rubbing my degree in their face" if I used bigger words. I started minimalizing myself--not talking about my academic successes, I was really self conscious about the language I used around them. But I realized that's not what I went to college for. I didn't put years and money into my degrees so I could be exactly how I always was.

Like I said, I haven't had surgery yet, and maybe this doesn't correlate at all, but it might be worth having a sit-down with your family, and your friend and let them know how you don't feel supported when you need it the most. Use specific examples, explain why you had surgery, and what you need from them to reach your goals.

I'm so sorry that your family does that to you. They probably don't even realize how much their words affect you either. I am still trying to find ways to talk to my loved ones about how it makes me feel but again it is so hard for me to break the chains I've put on myself for years over not hurting others and putting everyone else's feelings/needs before my own.. I am and will always be a work in progress BUT I am finally acknowledging that I have to be the one to make the progress and not just sit down and cry about it. It's good the you're already thinking about how the surgery might further affect your relationships so that you are prepared and will have a better understanding and tools to help you through the negative Nay-Sayers etc. Unfortunately, for me, I think I have lost this lifelong friend (literally since the day she was born 6 months after me) because of how she feels about my journey and my changes. It's a huuuuge long saga of a story but all I can say is that I've never been treated so poorly by another human being and I've never had somebody explosively name call and project their own issues onto me in such a manner. I don't know if I can ever go back to that. When you finally decide to stay away and look at the big picture you sometimes realize that even though relationships have had a lot of history they're not always good for you. I hope that you take care of yourself before and after surgery and make sure that you do not give anyone permission to make you feel "less than" because you are part of the equation in the word "everybody"... it's taken me years to figure that out and I'm still struggling to accept it. Hugs to you, my dear! This is going to be an amazing journey for you