The fat person inside me...

I don't think i'm being mean. or derogatory to my inner self either. No more than looking at that "BEFORE" picture as something you don't want to be again...that's a human being and should be respected too!

LOL This is just all in fun. So, to appease the folks that are offended by the name "tubby Terri" (what politically correct nonsense) i'll change it to "terrible Terri"... and while i'm at it i'll take down my before picture and pretend that Im NOT striving to NOT be that person any more...

wow. even knowing that I'm in a bad mood right now isn't going to stop me from posting this. my feeling are a little hurt that ive been called a bully.

On July 25, 2017 at 8:16 PM Pacific Time, teresafr wrote:

"I don't think i'm being mean. or derogatory to my inner self either. No more than looking at that "BEFORE" picture as something you don't want to be again...that's a human being and should be respected too!

LOL This is just all in fun. So, to appease the folks that are offended by the name "tubby Terri" (what politically correct nonsense) i'll change it to "terrible Terri"... and while i'm at it i'll take down my before picture and pretend that Im NOT striving to NOT be that person any more...

wow. even knowing that I'm in a bad mood right now isn't going to stop me from posting this. my feeling are a little hurt that ive been called a bully."

Sorry you feel that way.

I was just suggesting that you treat yourself kindly.

Not sure why that makes you so angry. No where did I call you a bully -- although your response to me is a bit over-the-top.

As a person who has lost more than the weight of two normal sized women, I will say that part of my success has been learning not to put myself down. In my experience, that contributes to my eating and self-destructive behavior.

Maybe it's different for you.

BTW, since you brought it up, I generally don't do the before and after picture thing. Outside of a support forum like this, before/after pictures sadden me. To me they say, "There was something wrong in the before photo, but it's okay, because I fixed it for the after photo..."

It's as if the person in the before picture is lesser in some way. I was never lesser. I was only fatter.

To each his own. Call yourself whatever you like.

I agree with everything you said, Kat. I get that the OP is trying to have fun, but I think you raise a valid point that maybe we shouldn't have fun being mean to ourselves. I've only recently gotten to the point of seeing my before pictures and not hating the person I see in them...

In my 13 years, I have NEVER posted a before picture ...

Same here. I'm not even sure one exists.

One pervasive myth is that all fat men are jolly. Well, we're not all ******g jolly. We just aren't.

I can see what you mean an I completely agree with you. before I lost all the weight - I was bigger but I work so much harder in just maintain. My current self has much less issues to deal with - RNY fixed my "never full" so the "skinny me" can eat as much as she comfortably can, waiting for the full signal, while the other me had to really work very hard not to have seconds or thirds. She was almost always hungry. She had a really hard time to lose and maintain.

the 2 identities in me had more to do with a child-like and an adult-like identities. The child wants what she wants - when she wants it, regardless of consequences. The adult part of me - know better. I have love and sympathy for the "child" - the part of me that is very primal, very hear and now.

it is neither good or bad.. it is.. and..that part of me allows me to be spontaneous and just crazy at times... go zip-lining and skiing, take the risk, even have a bite of cake, enjoy it for 20 min ..before the dumping starts... then just let the "adult" take care of the rest...

My BFF ( a very odd specimen-a bandster WITHOUT significant problems), calls it "our fat kid moments", when we get sudden urges for obscene things we wouldn't normally eat/drink...

Sometimes it's hard to keep those kids quiet, ya know :) But we continue to love and discipline them!

Yes, sorry, I was probably a bit touchy. You said you hoped the mean girl inside me was nice to the fat girl or something along those lines and I kinda saw red because I don't HAVE a mean bone in my body. I probably overreacted because I made this post so that we could all have a little fun (yes, a bit at our own expense) in a comradery way and wasn't expecting it to be turned into a debate.

It's sad that we treat ourselves so much worse than we'd ever treat another person. (I'm including myself in this "we.") Like Kat, I also try to be kind to myself whi*****ludes trying not to call myself names - I'd never think of calling another person tubby because that would be mean, it's no less mean to call myself that.

Hopefully Kat's post was useful. How we talk to ourselves, and about ourselves, does matter.