What's on your menu today (Wednesday) RNYers?

I'm not offended by feedback. But, the fact that something is posted as a screw up under "accountability" means that I know I messed up already too. :)

It is tricky to know when to say something, because none of us are perfect. But we all know doesn't doesn't get any easier than it is in the beginning.

Famous Grim line (to me anyway, stuck with me early on) - be a Machine.

I personally would totally respect anything you said, because you've been in the trenches, you're a retired nurse, and you have daily little peeps you're dealing with and doing it anyway.

Famous Grim line for me is "hunger is not an emergency" and I've told myself that everyday for the last 80 days(nights and in between!)

I like that one too. We need a thread of one-line-isms....

You know, I am a little torn on this accountability thing. I am in maintenance and holding strong 2 years out and learning what little bites and tastes I get to add back in here and there. I am very accountable to myself on MFP and I never ever lie about struggles here, (I have fully admitted to the fried reese's and the biscuit with honey butter no?). However... I have been really struggling with the head game of GUILT lately.

• I feel guilty when I eat something that tastes good, even if it is part of my menu.
• I feel guilty when I don't hit my protein totals because I was too full.
• I feel guilty when I don't drink all of my water.
• I feel guilty when I drink a glass of wine (about once a month).
• Lord knows I feel guilty when I eat crap like the junk food listed above.
• I feel guilty ALL THE TIME!

My marcros aren't off. I am not gaining weight. I am doing fine. But I can't always convince my head of that, so I purposely stopped posting my accountability because it was yet another opportunity to beat myself up. Time for therapy, maybe? I sound effin nuts...I know...

Anyway, I do want to hear if you see troubling patterns, but at the same time, I feel like I need to protect my sanity a little and guard what I am putting out there. I find myself in shame cycles and I don't know if they are healthy or not. I mean, it's not healthy to ignore poor choices but a the same time, the GUILT I have when I make a poor choice feels equally detrimental right now. #workingonit #thanksforasking

JB...you know I could have written your post, myself!! I am always feeling guilty about those same damn things....and other things that I usually have little to no control over!!!

When I asked if peeps wanted feedback, I hope I didn't come off sounding like I was planning to be the the big bully know it all...far from it!!!! I just meant did peeps want feedback from ANYONE. Hell, I don't cook, and have the time don't even recognize some of the foods y'all are eating:). I wouldn't know if stuff was on track or not!!

No I get it! I pipe in to check on people if I feel like I see patterns that are unhealthy. I think that's an important part of this community.

I guess I'm saying that I am being cautious about the format in which I share what is "off plan" for me because I am still learning what maintenance means for me. I'm still learning what is on and off plan. I've learned that its not necessary to be the machine I was before I hit goal. But how many bites are too many bites? I don't know yet. I'm learning to live like a real person again, and I'm not sure how much that is anyone's job to figure out, but my own...

I generally take accountability posts for people in maintenance with a grain of salt. I am there also and I know the struggles. I eat 'off planned foods', I eat 'off my plan food' also. I know how freaking hard this is.

If someone is just starting out though there is a DANGER that not only are they off plan and early out BUT I don't want them to look at my post and think they need to be eating what I am.

Do we need a 1 year out group post?

Also- I did talk to my therapist bout this. she wanted me to pick a weight number whee I didn't want to get above and if i was, to dial back. this will be a give an take and we should not feel bad for eating off plan as long as we are not developing destructive habits/behaviors. know WHY you are eating what you are eating, happy sad, tired , whatever it is. my DH stopped me from eating last night. I was about to eat another jello for 25 calories. he was like- you don't need that you had enough. and I stopped.

Yes, I have set my high weight that triggers panic when I see it on the scale. I think that's a "healthy" way to determine when things have gone too far and when to dial it back.

Not sure how I feel about the 1+ year post op or maintenance menu group. I think it's good for us but bad for newbies. Personally, I learned a LOT from the people who were 1+ years out and it would suck if new post ops just followed their nutritionist's plans and didn't get feedback. The blind leading the blind can be a disaster.

It is a mental game or should I say battle, and I have to talk myself off the ledge sometimes in my own mind. I definitely panic sometimes, a lot of the time. I'm still learning.

We do have to decide our own boundaries, especially in maintenance. I think in maintenance more than losing phase, one size does not fit all.

I have always liked having a plan, so I don't get caught off guard. But I don't feel that I'm failing if I change the plan during the course of the day. As long as I'm within the parameters that I've set.

I always try to be honest with what I consider the deep snafus, like the banana bread debacle of July 4 followed by an RH episode.

My accountability to me is also my weigh daily no matter what and facing the music. And yes I have my oh crap number - when I have to say OK get your act together.

When I was seeing the trainer a couple months ago, and complaining to him that I didn't know how to maintain weight, and I never done this before. He stopped me and looked me in the eyes and said you are maintaining! You know that right? I have to remind myself of that. I have been a normal BMI for 16 months, and while my weight may have fluctuated in that time I am maintaining. Normal people fluctuate too.

I am rambling now, so I'll stop. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Something taste good enjoy it! If you're going to drink a glass of wine, enjoy it!