Unsupportive spouse

This is such a great point.

My husband is thin (naturally -- and trust me, it's damn annoying) -- and while he was very supportive, he has confessed the same thing your wife has. I kind of compare it to the "first time pregnant mother" -- we all know her -- she's the one that talks of nothing else and acts as though she invented the condition. I think we are all a bit like that during the honeymoon period of WLS, too. :-)

To the OP -- That said, I'd also like to throw out that your wife has also lost her eating buddy. If you both shared obesity, it's likely that you also shared a love of eating -- so that's a real loss for her in addition to some feeling of insecurity and possible resentment.

I hope you both can work this out and find some common ground. A good relationship is a blessing in life -- and certainly this can be overcome with grace and compassion for each other.

We both love great cake.

Cake only comes in by the slice.

I would imagine that your situation makes this difficult journey even worse. I'm so sorry that you are going through this.

If possible, try to discuss your feelings with her when things are calm (I find that discussing things while arguing with my spouse does ZERO good). Let her know how much you need and appreciate her support.

But most of all, take care of yourself. Really, and sadly, in the end you are the only one who can.

I truly hope that this all works out in the best way possible.