Dealing with people that don't understand.

Has anyone had trouble with people understanding why you made the choice to have surgery?

Just had my stress test done yesterday? That was the last test that I had to complete to get my surgery scheduled. I have dealt with my weight for 17 years up and down. The past few years I have done nothing but gain weight and now I'm having a number of health problem and I just can't get the weight off. This was not an easy choice for me to make at all I would love to be able to watch what I eat and work out and the weight come off.

My boss at work has been giving me a hard time about having the surgery instead of working hard and getting the weight off that way. She says that I'm taking the easy way out, if I worked hard I could get the weight off, but she doesn't know all of the things that I have tried over the years and that I have tried this past year before I made the decision to go ahead with the surgery. Then today she tells me how it's not fair that our insurance is going to pay 100% of my surgery and others have to lose weight the old fashion way. I don't know why I'm letting her get under my skin, but she does.

Has anyone else dealt with someone like this and how did you handle it?

I handled it by not discussing my decision to have surgery. Don't discuss it anymore with her. If she inquires as to what's next, how you're doing, etc give a generic response (IE- I've got some things scheduled/planned, all is on track).

Agree to disagree. Tell your boss it will be hard work- that's the absolute truth. Even if losing is easier with surgery- maintaining a loss is still an uphill battle.

I agree. I have decided not to give her anymore detail when she ask. I never thought with her asking questions she would trun around and be so rude about it.

And it will be hard work. I have the done the hard work too with no results and I was ok with being overweight until all of the health problems started coming and they are coming fast.

That "easy way" comment really chaps my @$$! I lost and regained weight dozens of times in my 56 years. I can honestly say I've never worked so hard at losing weight in my life! My capacity to eat (in the words of the Coneheads) "mass quantities" is what kept me from being able to keep it off. Now, that problem is solved. People who don't have food issues, are just clueless.

If there was a new surgery that would make alcoholics or drug addicts able to control their addictions, would she call that the "easy way out?" I doubt it. But they do not understand that food addiction is not only just as bad and as potentially deadly, but it's the one addiction in the world that people must learn to CONTROL while still consuming the thing they are addicted to. We can't just stop.

So, to them, I say "I work harder at this than I have ever worked at weight loss in my life!" They can get it, or not...if not, to hell with them!

EDITED to add: P.S. I'd tell her that this is a personal matter for you, and you don't wish to discuss it with her any longer.

2nd EDIT: And as the others have stated, once you have told her the subject is off limits, if she continues, then go to HR.

I agree there are so many people that have food issues. The sad part is she is one of them. She has done great and I have told her that she has. She got a personal trainer about six months ago and has lost 30lbs. She has worked her butt off, but I'm not that lucky I had done that with no luck.

Your right if there was surgery for any other addiction no one would say a word.

Her success is great. Let's check in with her in a year and see where she is. If she's like most of us here before we had surgery, she'll have gained it back and then some. Maybe she won't, but statistics say she will. Then we'll see if she changes her tune.

I would say that I am sorry but the hard way just did not work for me, and I am taking the easy way out.

The others have the option of using insurance to get surgery too.

If it makes you feel any better, your boss will be delighted in a few years if you have regain.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. It is completely inappropriate for her to harass you about your personal medical decision making.

Thank you. I agree I didn't want them to know that I was even going to have this surgery but when I started leaving work early and taking time off she started asking questions I put her off with some of the other health problems I was having, but she started saying thing like you have to see a doctor again you dont have that handled yet so I thought if I told her what I was doing she would get off my back. That didn't work it just made it worse.

I would talk to my HR department. Your boss does not get to harass you about your healthcare choices.