Did not pass psychiatric visit

See someone else

First, never lie to a therapist or doctor. What's the point of going if you lie? You can't get help if you don't tell the truth.

Second, ditch the therapist with a bias against WLS. They have no idea what they are talking about.

The psych evaluator may have been right to deny surgery right now. I'm sure that hurts, and I'm sorry. But you really can screw this surgery up if your head isn't in the right place. You can fail to lose much weight, gain it back quickly, or even hurt yourself very badly. You could even die from non-compliance.

If you need to work on things such as reducing stress before surgery, that's really helpful information that can benefit you and your children. Listen, work hard, and do what you need to do to qualify and be successful.

I second that:

"...The psych evaluator may have been right to deny surgery right now. I'm sure that hurts, and I'm sorry. But you really can screw this surgery up if your head isn't in the right place. You can fail to lose much weight, gain it back quickly, or even hurt yourself very badly. You could even die from non-compliance.

If you need to work on things such as reducing stress before surgery, that's really helpful information that can benefit you and your children. Listen, work hard, and do what you need to do to qualify and be successful...."

They made surgery on our gut, not head. Sometimes it is a good idea to wait, deal with some issues first, then get WLS.

Oh Nancy, I wish I could give you a hug

I agree that you need to see a new therapist at the very least, one that specializes in bariatric surgery would be a bonus. I too, had a lap band, and I got it before I'd dealt with my emotional connection with food and my high anxiety and stress levels. 11 years later, as I head into a revision to an RNY I'm in a much better place, but it took the right combination of therapy/medication and learning from my mistakes to get there.

continue to be proud of the progress you have made, and find a tribe that will support you in that!

Such bad news. Don't give up. My surgeon gave me a list of psychs that he works with. The one that did my psych eval seemed to be very knowledgeable about WLS. Like others have said get a second opinion.

agree- new therapist. one that understands obesity is a treatable disease.

That is totally wrong Your personal therapist has no business accusing you of failing at the band, which is not your fault as you had it in good faith and it was later found out to not be an effective method; he is being totally unprofessional to say that. A therapist should not be judgemental like that.

Good luck; I hope it will work out for you.

Nancy,

I'm so sorry, I know that has to be a horrible thing to hear. Generally I agree with Grimm, but with a caveat.

I think it's worth considering that your regular therapist knows something about your (lack of) commitment to making hard changes that has him resisting the WLS. If he is against it in general, I strongly agree you should find a new therapist.

I've been seeing the same therapist for over a decade, and when I started looking into WLS he challenged me to tell him why I thought surgery would be "different" than my many commitments to dieting. He had a point, so I worked with him to enact some serious changes in my life (I moved out of my home, finally admitting I couldn't fix a broken marriage) and I worked with a credit counselor to get my finances in order. After these big changes, he was 100% supportive of the weight loss surgery. It was the push I needed to really get a grip on my life, and make the hard choices I'd been avoiding for years.

Change is hard, this surgery is hard (only out a few weeks). Getting your stress under control through the application of tools like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy will really give you a boost at successfully applying these surgical tools to your health.

I wanted to reach out to you because I also have a lap band and have had NO SUCCESS. Ironically the clinic who "sold" me the band closed its doors days ago. Now, I realize that some people love the band - however it has the highest failure rate (where I come from) and is never recommended. In my experience the last year, I have been told that I did not fail, the band failed me, and I truly believe this. This surgery is entirely different from the band. I hope you do find an alternative therapist, as I don't think it is supportive to tell you that you failed.

I hope that you do get approval for your surgery because I believe that you know what is best for you.

If you break out in a rash from children you are a bit fragile. This surgery is rough!!! It's stressful and there won't be a meal you don't realize you had this surgery. Telling you that you won't succeed because the band failed you is ridiculous. I have yet to meet a person who loved their band. Keep fighting, get the stress under control and you can do this.