Nosey People & Coworkers

hope everyone enjoyed the weekend!

I have my surgery a month from today. I have only told 3 people about this surgery (my parents who will be helping me afterwards with my toddler, and my boyfriend) I will be taking 4 weeks off from work and all I can think of is the nosey coworkers commenting on my weight loss (if it's even noticeable) and making the connection to my surgery. I work in social services and as much as I LOVE my job, the gossip is TERRIBLE!

Anyone else had this silt fear? I really am not the one to usually care what people think but the struggle with my weight is a personal one and I would like to keep this to myself and avoid the "easy way out" conversations and negative comments.

Nothing easy about what you're about to do. Remember only about 1% of Americans with a 40+ BMI go through with a bariatric procedure. It's not like its liposuction

Telling coworkers, friends etc is obviously a personal choice but you've got nothing to be embarrassed about. This is about getting healthy and adding years to your life.

Have you told your co-workers you are having surgery of some kind? I know you are taking 4 weeks off, but for all they need to know, you went to a serious immersion nutrition camp that taught you how to change your life. RNY is NOT the easy way out - I had that in my head at first as well - but after 1 1/2 years of dietitians, shrinks, docs, diaries, prep, etc, and then what was (for me) a VERY painful five days in hospital (gas) and now I am 3 weeks post op and still having pain...this is most definitely NOT the easy way out. I have told very few people...prior to surgery I told many of my friends I was going to change my life and lose weight with a serious portion control program (really...this is not a lie, it's just not the whole story) and that I was going to 'hole up' for awhile to stay away from temptation and get my head screwed on straight. Thus, when they see me in a few months, the weight loss plan has already been laid out...they will just be amazed that I actually stuck to something this time! That's all anyone needs to know.

Good luck with it...

I am only close to 6 weeks post op, but I will tell you this is one of the hardest things I have ever done. Emotionally and physically. I went back to work 4 days post op (I have an office job and I'm overly ambitious). My coworkers have seen my changed eating (or rather lack there of) but really don't make too many comments. That being said, I do have a couple of friends at work who know I have had surgery and it has been really helpful to have that support; to have someone I can casually talk to about the challenges or terrible taste of the new protein powder I am trying to stomach since I didn't pack any other "meal" and can't just pick something up at the drive thru anymore. When I was first planning to have surgery I told as few people as possible, but with time that number has grown a lot to include many family and friends. I am greatful that I have added more people into my circle who know about my surgery. I have needed that support. My hesitation to tell people stemmed from not wanting to be judged, because ultimately I still felt shame from all the failed attempts, diets, programs to fix my health and weight issues myself. I can tell you that those who I have told were mostly all more supportive and understanding than I would have thought. I guess my advise to you would be this: build yourself a strong support network and then if your coworkers start to bother you post op you have plenty of people to help you through it.

Maybe preparing comebacks to negative comments you might get would be helpful. Hopefully most of the comments you get on your weight loss will be positive, but the fact is that there will be jealous people as well as people who speak without thinking.

As an aside, I haven't gotten many of the "easy way out" comments at all. I've never been private about the fact that I've had bariatric surgery. I know a whole lot of people who have had it.

It's not the easy way out by any means, but so what if it was?? It makes a healthier you, that's all that matters, I tell everyone that I have had the surgery and I have never once gotten a bad reaction from it!

Greetings fellow social worker! I told everyone at work because I knew there would be gossip. I was on FMLA for six weeks. It's not easy, because of what I'm allowed to eat. Small portions and all that. OH is a great resource for you. OH helped me immensely throughout my journey from the decision to have WLS to my recovery, and now I'm just shrinking away. I have lost weight before, in 2012 I dropped 50# to about 136, but I couldn't keep it off and regained everything plus some. This was the best decision I have every made. I'm no longer struggling with my diabetes.

I do care what my coworkers think and wanted to be upfront and them not think I was dying of some sort of disease. Well, obesity is a disease, but my weight loss has been dramatic so far.

it took about four months for people to start noticing my weight loss (but then, I started out *way* heavier than you), and by then, I doubt any of them linked it back to the "vacation" I took four months earlier (I said I was taking some time off to work on a bunch of house projects). My supervisor knows what happened, but I told the rest (when they've asked) that I've been working with a dietitian, low-carbing, and exercising a lot (all true - I just left out one major detail - the surgery!). No one's ever questioned it - but now that I'm 200+ lbs lighter, I suspect some of them wonder.....they've never said anything, though. But since you're starting off at 219, your weight loss will seem more believable.

I was very open about what I was having done; told all my co-workers and of course family. Be proud of your decision to get healthy, there is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed. The weight loss is going to be noticeable and that in itself will spark questions or gossip. Just be up front about it; I've gotten support from everyone I have told and a co-worker is now going through the process since seeing how well I have done.

I also found that being open about what I was doing helped me; I have that extra support system to keep me on track and accountable. They understand why I won't have that office birthday cake or just one slice of pizza.

Had surgery Nov 8, 2016 and have lost 75lb**** that dreaded plateau, but started working out at a gym and will just plug along until the weight starts to come off again. Have about another 25lbs to go. Good luck, you can do this!!

hi fromfattohealthy (love the nik)... but it's so true.. we all got healthier!! no matter how we look at it.. sure it's nice to be thinner and wear much nicer clothing.. but for me it was all about getting healthy! SO... a little history here.. i'm 5 years out jan 11, 2017... and i told no one i work with... told very little family. my hubby of course, my son and my sister, a few very close friends. i went to many support groups and still belong to one that keeps growing and growing with support members. and the day someone walks in that i know.. is the day i walk out. i didn't and don't want the negative comments... the "easy way out" conversations as you talk about and there are many! i have a close friend who after 5 years herself had surgery (she knew many people who had it but it wasn't the time.. she too doesn't want to tell anyone.. but she now is - her business but she starts the conversation .. i had the surgery same as lexxi did) I don't appreciate it but we will have a talk about that. it's her business NOT mine but it can turn into "guilt by association" if you know what i mean. i see strangers in the store... and ask how did you do it? how much have you lost? SERIOUSLY?? if you're happy for me.. great but don't be nosey. You didn't ask gees.. you're getting pretty fat eh? but since it's a positive (i suppose) getting thinner the world thinks nothing of asking how much have i lost? i just say lots. I should say none of your business.. but you know when you're fat, you just don't talk like that - you want everyone to be your friend or like you or not appear to be a "skinny biatch"... which i have had one person call me. The only thing that changed about me was my clothing size.. my personality didn't.

Anyways.. that's my 2 cents .. and i hope you can handle it.. cuz people can be very rude! PS.. i worked for Social Services too so i know what you're talking about - nosey coworkers!

good luck and take care of you!