NSV, SV, and 1st followup post-op
Well, this morning I had a scale victory, seeing a few pounds drop off to put me at 289 now. I was riding my bike into work this morning and trying to think of the last time I was this size. I think it was high school. That was a very difficult time for me, because most guys are 180-220 at most at that time in their lives. They were the ones with the friends and the girls, and they seemed to get the "good" life opportunities thrown at them. Needless to say, I was pretty angry throughout my youth, between the teasing and being ignored by pretty well everyone. It soured my heart, and it showed on the football field when I played. I couldn't care less about winning. All I wanted to do was to hurt people, and I was really good at that. Even teammates in practice, I wouldn't let up. Not even one bit. There was a burning rage that I can't even describe. I just wanted to get out of high school as fast as possible and never look back. That angry guy on the field translated into some areas of my personal life too. I hated people for years. All walks of life. I'm not sure everyone in school liked it much because though I was effective, I was not a team player and I was doing that for me. Off the field, I faded into the background again. Psychologically, I was damaged and hurting. I carried that with me for years.
The more I think about it, the more grateful I am for having done this surgery. The more I read my bible, the more it changes me and I think about how I've changed over the years. My temperament is pretty laid back and fun-loving now, and I've learned to really open up and trust certain people. I'm pretty excited for life for the first time in a long time. Now I've been given this health gift to help me in every aspect of my life both directly and indirectly.
Friday I went for my 5-week followup. My vitals were all perfect, the doctor was thrilled with my progress and I'm ahead of the curve by a longshot. I'm off the only medication I was on (cholesterol) for a trial run, and I haven't had any issues following the guidelines for this process. So far so good.
This weekend, for my NSV, I attended two parties where there were plenty of opportunities to cheat. Pizza, beer, chips, cake, ice cream, etc. I saw the former foods that I would have eaten, and my brain seems to have lost the ability to even crave them. I did lick my fingers when I was cleaning up cake icing, and even that didn't tempt me to have a little bit and risk dumping. It just isn't there, and I don't want that to return. I know hunger and cravings and all of that will return after the honeymoon phase, but I'm enjoying the moment in this.
My wife says "this time is yours". She's right.
Remember, no matter where you go.......there you are.
