"Old Fashioned" "Natural" or "Will Power" Judgy People

It is absolutely true that the public figure nature of how I interact via blog as well as as my work as a presenter/educator opens me to folks feeling 'invited' in a way. It is still weird feeling though I have been doing it for many years.

I think the part that was frustrating about it in this situation is that people would take the time to seek out someone just to make a negative comment. I just can't imagine myself doing that. It seems so rude. Now, if we had been in a conversation, chit chatting about weight, WLS, or nutrition or something...ok, fair enough, offer your opinion. Finding me across a large ballroom to swing by and comment...not so much.

As far as responding, I do actually understand that when you are public you have a responsibility to be polite and professional. I think of it as a customer service type thing. When I waited tables in the middle of the night at Denny's I had waaayyyy ruder things said and I would react the same...no flinching, soft nod, and smile. Toss in a thank you very much if needed and excuse yourself by needing to use the restroom urgently or something.

After all, nothing I say would alter their experience or opinions in that moment. By refusing to be shamed or embarrassed by them though I believe I disarm their power in some small measure. Perhaps the next person they would have done that sort of thing to will be spared.

~E

If I had to guess (and that's all I'm doing), I'd say they saw you from across the room, were wowed by your weight loss, shamed by their own failure, and felt the need to say something to you to feel better about themselves.

You handled it amazingly.

I've been really lucky so far with people being supportive. Only 2 people have said negative things to me; my aunt and an old friend that I recently reconnected with. She's never had a weight problem, has always been the thinnest person in the group, and seemed upset that I was losing weight...why, I have no idea.

My uncle, who is also MO, calls me every single day and asks if I'm hungry, lol. Then he quizzes me about foods, eg., Do you miss hamburgers? Do you miss pizza? Every day, lol. He's so funny. He's supportive though, and quite elderly, and shocked by how quickly I'm losing.

I hate hearing all that negative crap from ignorant people !!!! This is why I keep my surgery to myself.

YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE FRUSTRATED !!!!

All I can say is some people hate to see others succeed where they have failed miserably !! Jealousy is an UGLY BEAST!!!!

Those comments were hurtful, rude and pathetic!!! I'm sure that when looking at where they came from, you have the confidence and wisdom to NOT take any of them to heart as its quite obvious these people have far greater "issues" that you could ever have had.

Chin up my dear.....stand proud for all you've accomplished....ignore the haters !!!

Whether it is wls, having a baby, working or staying at home, there will always be people who have an opinion on something that is none of their business. This is a good safe place to vent about it and let it go. I feel sorry for them really. Take the high road as it seems you did.

comments like "bless you heart" comes to mind...

other comments - "wow, thank you for believing in me" or "wow, sorry to hear that"

with all the people who believe in "natural way" you may also trow in "most men believe in natural birth.. most smart women - we ask for drugs - we FEEL the pain" or "using cars or electricity is not natural, ... yet it is much more practical"

or just say anything random that comes to mind, like, i.e.: "you know the full moon was 2 days ago? wow, it was bright....."

I love being random. Such a wonderful tool.

I do that too! My go-to is "I like poodles."

I have used, "You did what with whose dog for how many biscuits?" LOL

Wow, that was a lot for one weekend. You are a warrior!

It is ignorance, as well as someone said reflecting their own failures back on you... especially those who have had WLS and regained or not done well.

I have one woman I see for business on an occasional basis who has had long term WLS failure...In the beginning I tried to encourage her, I gave up and she is just passive aggressive about it at this point....

Shake it off and move on....

By sharing your story I also think you gave permission for others to give you their opinions and to share their stories with you. If you truly want to help others, you will also have to learn to deal with the idiots.

Learn from those *****gained. Seriously. Remember their stories and learn from them. It gets so much harder the further you get out. I don't know many from my local circle who had surgery the same time as me (2008) who have maintained their loss. I may be the only one who still has a BMI under 25.