"Old Fashioned" "Natural" or "Will Power" Judgy People

This weekend I was at a large conference with many people I have known as acquaintances for many years as well as many total strangers. Throughout the weekend I had many supportive wonderful interactions with folks. I am very open and blog about my WLS and so I found many people came up to me to talk to me about their own journey, how I had inspired them to have WLS, or how my vulnerability gave them courage in their own lives for whatever reason. Beautiful stuff. I was complimented frankly too many times. It was a bit much at times. Generally speaking, people were very lovely.

However...

I also had the following interactions:

"Oh, well yeah I mean if I sewed my mouth shut I would look good too."

"If you lose anymore you will just disappear! Are you sure you aren't sick?"

"I just think the old fashion way is best. You don't even look healthy anymore."

"You seem like such a strong person, I can't believe you gave in an went with surgery instead of just trying to stick to it with will power."

"What you did to your body is so unnatural! I will keep praying for you that you don't find all sorts of other damage done you didn't bargain for. I'm here for you."

"I had WLS (inset type of surgery) (insert number) many years ago... (followed by one of the following)

...and it nearly killed me! I hate that you did this to yourself. Maybe you will get lucky."

...and I lost a bunch but it all comes back. Don't fool yourself."

...but it won't last, you will see."

Every one of these interactions came from someone who sought me out to make their comment and every one of them was noticeably overweight. Why is it that other MO people who have not had WLS or who have not been successful with their WLS seem to be the loudest and meanest? I didn't bring up my weight with any of these people. They just felt somehow that my body was open season.

Frustrating as hell.

~Elizabeth

Sorry you had to deal with that. It's insane jealousy and an attempt to excuse themselves from their own poor habits and behavior by attempting to make you feel worse. They just can't handle your incredible success. That's how I see it anyway.

It is all about them and nothing to do with me, I know. But still...uhg. I just want to sit them all down and teach them manners and better coping skills.

~E

They definitely need manners and coping skills for sure.

They're projecting their own failures onto you. It's far too easy to bring someone else down rather than for them to look at their own failings, own up to it & lift themselves up.

Sorry you had to hear those comments. May I ask how you responded to them?

I mostly smiled and tried to not flinch. Never let them see you flinch. Then I would excuse myself as quickly as was reasonable.

~Elizabeth

"never let them see you flinch"....love it!

"Never let them see you flinch".... so your punch is more of a surprise!!!

You said you didn't bring up your weight with these people, but you also said you are open and blog about it. I'm assuming those who sought you out read the blog(?). So I guess, in my head, you did bring up your weight by being open and others felt that was an open opportunity to share their thoughts.

Not saying that to say they are right. I'd anticipate the same to be true too- those unsuccessful or still MO are most judgy.

So how did you respond to all the negative Nancy's? I always wondered how I'd respond. I think I'd try and compliment some feature on them in response-- passive aggressively shifting attention back to them.