Weight gain 5 years post RNY

I know what you are going through, as my daughter died from cancer 12 years ago. I went back to work 3 months after my daughter died, after a year of not working so I could help her with her cancer battle.  I had to have a reason to get up in the morning and to make me put one foot in front of the other.

It's going to be hard, but developing a plan around dense protein, low carb, and lots of water will work in helping you lose the weight. Having a plan and following it could be like putting one foot in front of the other and repeating.

Also, make sure you take care of yourself mentally. I had individual counseling but found that group meetings at Compassionate Friends were more helpful. 

You have gotten the best adviice already- Be kind to yourself, dense protein, green veggies, water and no crappy carbs...

Just wanted to reach out 

Good for you for realizing you need help and 30lbs is doable, you still have a tool.

I am so sorry about your loss.  I think you did fantastic to have only gained 30 pounds.  It shows how much control you have in the midst of such heartache.  You can lose the weight. I'm not sure which method works better for you, only you can decide.  One is to eliminate most carbs for a few days up to a week to stop the carb craving and then proceed to a reduced calorie diet, and the other method is to take babysteps.  Begin by adding water and cutting 500 calories of your current food until you eliminate the "bad" food from your diet.  We all start adding a few bites, here and there and when we see the scale move up, cut back on the unhealthy food.  The problem is when there is no cutting back.  Good luck!

I'm sorry about your loss.  Loosing a child is something one should never have to experience. Have you thought about joining a grief support group?  That may help some with the eating issues.  Maybe make a walking date with a friend to socialize and exercise at the same time.