Quick Tempered

My hubby is the same way - if you ask him what's wrong too many times.....eventually he gets annoyed and something BECOMES wrong 

I've learned!

I agree with whoever said that we are no longer stuffing our faces with carbs and sugar.  I know for me, personally, I used to eat to bury my feelings.  I have noticed that I am much more quick to voice my opinion of things, and sometimes my family looks at me in surprise... the old me would have had a donut.  New me says what she thinks.

And that is a good thing.

A lot of people like to hear themselves talk, your wife's Friend's are not different.  It seems to be that everyone and their dog have an "opinion" on WLS "people." Some of the best BS I have heard are:

• WLS is the easy way out
• Everyone fails at WLS and gains their weight back
• You can never eat "normal" again

WHATEVER haters!!

You never know what people are going through in life, how their personal experiences will shape their thoughts and opinions of you. I am a pretty happy person in real life, I love to chat with friends and crack jokes.  Well since I am dealing with two sick parents (my Dad with his ticking time bomb heart and my Mom with her breast cancer diagnosis) I am pretty depressed, I am not laughing and joking and I know I am not my usual Chipper "self," I am working on it. People are noticing and asking me a million questions, "What's wrong, what happened?" My point is my "personality" changed because I am dealing with something. All of us WLS folks and all the newbies are "dealing with something" and that something is this new life post WLS.  At least that is how I see it.

Hormone dumping is a thing, Google it so you can explain it to your wife so she is better informed.  I know when I was going through it I was weepy a lot, more so than my normal emotional self.  Not to mention the HUGE lifestyle change we all experience after WLS. Its a lot to take in, to change, and I find its really hard to get non WLS people to even comprehend the mental and physical changes that happen.

And I know that this is not everyone's experience so only speaking to mine but when I was MO I was a wall flower, I did not speak up or stand up for myself.  That's just the way I was.  As the weight came off my confidence and my tolerance for crap/BS lessened. So call it what you want, was I quick tempered, probably but it was because I realized I was putting up with crap for too long when I was MO and decided not to take it anymore, but that's just me.

Definitely speak to a therapist, in my opinion post WLS is a lot to wrap our head around, it would be good to talk to a professional.

Best of Luck.

disclaimer- these are my own thoughts from my experience and does not mean that everyone is like this or feels this.

Ok- so here is my personal take on this. I was always a person that would take a lot of %$$$ off people before I said anything. I do not like confrontation, so I just let things ride. I'm 14 months out, and I NO LONGER do this. If something bothers me, I say it for crying out loud.

My husband says I'm much more outspoken than I used to be. If I'm at a retail store and they are being goobers or feel I'm mistreated, I say- this flat out is unacceptable. Yes, that probably means I'm being branded a skinny %$%$ after I walk away. Yes, SOMETIMES I think I'm being harder on them (testy) than I need to be. There is a balance there and I'm working on it.

Yes, I find that I get frustrated more easily than before and I'm not quite sure what causes that. I also find myself saying to myself, that was really dumb what I just did even if it just me dropping something on the floor. There is some negative self talk there that I have to 1)figure out why I'm saying it to myself, and 2) stop myself from doing it because I'm verbally tearing myself down for some reason.

I wonder why your wife's friends feel it is any of their business and why your wife feels the need to relay this information to you.

If my husband did this to me--discussed me with his friends then reported back their negative reactions--he and I would have words.

If my husband did this to me--discussed me with his friends then reported back their negative reactions--he and I would have words.

yeap. That.   can't agree more... 

AMEN.

I couldn't agree more.  A marriage is a personal and intimate relationship -- and trust requires that our personal foibles and happenings aren't fodder for inane gossiping with people who aren't directly affected.  

I can promise that if one of my "friends" decided to weigh in on my husband's personal medical or emotional health without specific prompting or request, she would be shut down immediately.  

Likewise, if my husband reported back to me about a discussion he had with his "friends" about my emotional health -- it would not be a pretty conversation.  

I've only "just about" kept myself unincarcerated for the last 12+ years by getting rid of the complainers - I mean talking nicely to those with an opinion 

Seriously, dude, tell them all to **** off!  This sounds like gaslighting by your wife (emotional abuse) and you should let her know that you are on to her game ... and that you don't give a toss what her friends say.

The surgeon altered your guts, not your brain.  We are 100 per cent responsible for whether we are decent human beings or ******** - no excuses!

Thanks everyone!  I probably should have separated the issue.  The wife saying that to me is her defense mechanism when I get angry or frustrated.  I suspect she noticed my behavior, talked to her friends and got several saying what they said.  While I don't like the comment,  It really isn't the direct issue I am puzzled about.  I really was more curious about the change in my personality that I noticed even before she said what she said.  I should have just been direct with my question, without all the set up.  Probably venting a little as I posted.  But I appreciate all your feedback.  I'll send the therapist an email and see what he thinks about starting conversations at 3 months vs. 9 months.  Probably should have thought to do that before - thanks again.

Alan,

Agree separate issues. If you have noticed a change or frustration there concerning it- without the extraneous persons input mentioned, then YES, I think you should talk to someone (professional) about your concerns.