Met an old RNY patient

actually, she wasn't old, her surgery was...lol. She had it, oh I forget exactly, like 13 years ago? She had regained it all back. That was pretty humbling. :/ 

I will see her again, and I'm hoping to encourage her to come here to this board, and maybe go see my clinic for some help getting back on track since she just moved here from another state. She seemed kind or resigned to it, like,"Oh well, it didn't work for me." And I just hate that. I didn't say much last night because we were in a group, and also because I am five months out and feel like an idiot trying to advise someone that far out, you know? Like one of those annoying young parents with a six month old who thinks they know everything you are doing wrong with your teenager, lol. 

based on her comment ("Oh well, it didn't work for me"), it sounds like she doesn't care.  Sad, but...she doesn't care.  Not sure you'll get very far with this one.  I wouldn't beat my head against a wall.  As you know, you have to be in right place mentally to do this.  She's  not.

Hi Cathy,

I have a relative who lost 100 lbs. (3) years ago & has gained it all back.

I remember following her journey & I was envious of the weight loss.

She is a good friend and I see her a lot.  While I am on the phone with her, she is at a MCDonald's drive through ordering the unimaginable.  That voice in my head is screaming.  BUT at the end of the day? It is her life.  I would like to support her back into better eating, but as an obese woman, I never liked hearing other people tell me what I needed to do to lose weight.

Good for you for wanting to help her....

RNY is an amazing tool.  What I have learned here?  This is a life time of hard work and commitment.

Encouraging her to come here   was good advice.

She needs to want this...

Congratulations on your success.

NB This makes me more determined to be successful...

Take care

Sandra 

Mahalo   

Surgery gives you a way to lose the weight, but it only works as long as you work it.  Many people give up and would rather have the food they want.  At nine years out, I find it is difficult to lose any regain. 

I just look at those people as examples of what would happen to me if I quit working my plan.

This does not get easier.  Every year it gets harder to maintain.  Coming to the board daily is one way that I keep myself focused.

Yes, I totally agree - and I'm only 2 years post surgery.  Trying to get 4 pounds of regain off, and wowsers, its tough.  I started drifting from good habits and came back here, for my good and hopefully to share experiences too.  

My biggest fear.  With a good support group nearby, I hope that when I get to goal that I will keep going to it.  Or go back and ask for help if I gain 10lbs, rather than all of it. :(   I don't know though.  You go through a depressed period of not caring and then suddenly you're 50lbs up and you feel like you're going to get scolded or you are going to drag down the people new to it who are still all optimism and sunshine.  (or even deter newbies who are pre-surgery, who need it)

I hope she can find a good support group that will encourage her to start trying again.  I know I felt ashamed when I gained back a lot that I had lost with my band.  

Haha I must be ancient then.  16 years post op here.  I've had regain, but like I tell everyone this surgery (or any for that matter) is a tool and it is only as good as you work it.     It's great that you are trying to get her to OH   I feel that this place is what helps keep me accountable   And, I've felt that way since I've been here (2000)   

Nik

This is not a magical fix. Her comment that "it didn't work for her" is prettty revealing as to how she viewed it. The reality is - SHE didn't work it for herself. Please know I am not calling her a failure or ANYONE else who has struggled and regained. Most of us are addicts and the surgery does not change that. We have to fix the mental part of overeating. It's not easy and will likely be a lifelong struggle for us.

I am no expert. I am a few weeks from my 3 year surgiversary and I am happy to say I'm at my lowest post-surgery weight. I have had no regain, but I have worked very hard to keep my diet in check. I still do not eat bread, pasta, rice, pizza, etc. I haven't in over 3 years. I do let myself indulge in sweets sometimes, but I still am fortunate enough to have a lot of restriction and can't eat very much of anything (I'd say a cup max and less if it's dense). My point is - this requires a huge lifestyle change and honestly, a lot of sacrifice for those of us addicted to food. Sure I miss fettuccini alfredo and extra cheese pizza, but I don't miss the seatbelt extender I had to ask for on flights or the angry look on the business man's face as he realized he had to sit next to me. I'm living a much much healthier and happier life. I've accepted I will always struggle with weight and eating, but I am prepared to deal with it and the surgery has been an amazing tool to help me. I am not sure I could've done it any other way...

Please don't let anyone else's success or lack there of define your own. Learn what works for YOU. It's truly different for everyone, but if you learn what keeps you on track and healthy, then you will succeed. You truly will.

I am still preop (16 days to go!) but I know somebody who is getting ready to go on this journey and continues to say things that scream "RED FLAG!!" to me. She asks questions and when I give her an answer she doesn't like she'll bru**** off with some snide comment. I have learned, and am continuing to learn, that this is an extremely personal journey no matter how many people you decide to let into your bariatric circle. That being said, this is also a journey that varies depending person. Unfortunately, like has been said a few times prior, she didn't seem like she took it as seriously as she should. It happens. 

It wouldn't hurt to talk to her, but please don't feel bad if she snaps, because I mean it is a personal subject. Just hold your head high and store this into your brain as a learning experience and what could happen if... 

I feel sad for her and hope she gets help. I'm only 4 weeks out but it scares me to death to think of dealing with all the RNY stuff and also dealing with obesity!