People who wish failure ...
I had my RNY on 9 September 2016 and have lost 76 lbs and have another 20 to reach my goal. So I'm over the moon meaning I'm so happy with my results. I feel normal for the first time in like 30 years. I have told only 3 people on this earth that I had surgery (2 sisters and my neighbour). My sisters have been great in terms of support and encouragement, I could not ask for better. But my neighbour that another story. I saw her last week and we chatted for a while. When I saw her the first thing she asked was so how much have you lost? I told her and her reply was that's great! Then she started with the negative comments. She said she new someone that gained it all back, and someone else that had constant health issues.
I don't understand why people can't be happy for others. By the way she is MO full of health issues herself. Just need to vent!
on 1/28/17 12:35 pm
People can suck a bag of dicks sometimes. They are always the naysayers. If there is a crappy story about something they will tell you.
Consider the source when they start telling you about failures. They are not worth the breath to try to tell them different.
Congrats on your weight loss! It's just the nasty side of human nature... my Psy 101 class many moons ago refers to it as "leveling" it's based on the fear of the status quo changing... your place in their world is changing and the comments, snark, are a way of bringing things back to a level they feel comfortable at (power manipulation.) You could approach her and say the comments hurt, saddened, angered you but generally in my experience it doesn't usually change their behavior. Remember you can't control what others think, say, feel but you can control your reaction to it. I make it a sort of joke with the people that do it in my life... like snark-watch... I wait for it and time it... and sure enough they never disappoint. Take back that emotional power ;)
When people asked me how much I had lost I would say - not enough yet. When I would be asked how much my goal was I would say that is between me and my doctor.
I knew that there would always be those naysayers that would say you have lost too much, you look too thin, you are going to gain it back because "I know this person" . . .
By me saying not enough or it is between me and my doctor they then usually do not interject anything. If they would say anything medically I would ask them if they had an MD after their name. That shuts them up.
PS - to add my husband and I love to say - we are still "working" our tool to keep the weight off. We can "see" it in their eyes that they cannot believe that we have kept the weight off.
Open RNY May 7
260/155/140
Your neighbor is a 'Debbie Downer' , and you know what they say, "Misery loves company." Steer clear or keep the dialog to "Good morning", "Good afternoon" and "Good evening" and that's it. You shouldn't have to suffer back handed compliments or back handed praise from an individual that has lulled herself into complacency.
Stick w/ your 2 sisters as your confidantes/ emotional support system. Keep the neighbor at 'front yard's length'. LOL!
My quest for thinnage has finally begun w/ meeting my surgeon over a week ago here in northeastern Ohio. I wish you continued success and let no one break your stride, hon.
Cheers,
Jen
Hello surgery buddy! You have done so well! Congratulations!
I habe just finally gotten to the magical one-derland. Have at least 30, maybe 40 pounds to go but so excited. I am loving my new figure and buying cute clothes. Still have two bad knees so walking is tough but overall feeling SO mich better.
I have a job as a nanny and the neighbors kids keep telling me their mom says horrible things about my decision for WLS. Yesterday they said she said I made a stupid decision, now have to have plastic surgery, my diabetes will never go away. Her husband's only comment: "You look amazing!".
I agree that the best revenge is living well. Guess who gets the last laugh...
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